SUVs do cost an arm and a leg.

Fri, 18 Jul 2025 20:51:01 GMT

Our X-25 is the most brilliant piece of equipment Speedfitters has. My company installed the X-25 at Ken Barac's new and used car. They love it because it allows many more customers to make a down payment on a new or used car. And I love it because it separates arms or legs without an ounce of blood being spilled.

Basically, someone goes to Ken Barac's, finds a new or used car they like and if they don't have enough for the down payment, the salesperson asks if they'd like to use an arm or leg for the downpayment.

The X-25 is always full of limbs when I show up on Wednesdays for my service check on the machine.

Jerry Reader, the sales manager, keeps bugging me for a kidney chopper, telling me they have the need. And I must agree because that damned X-25 is always full of limbs when I do my checks.

I just think it sucks that in 2048 America people have to cut off a limb just to afford a new vehicle. And now I'll have to learn how to service the X-30, which is the kidney separation unit. I better stop calling it a "kidney chopper" or the front office will have my ass.

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I wish I could've reattached that girl's arm.

Thu, 10 Jul 2025 22:23:50 GMT

I guess I shouldn't bitch about my job too much, because it's the only one that lets me smoke (and sneak a drink). I really wish I could've saved that girl's arm for reattachment--at least I saved her life.

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"C" students don't have much choice.

Thu, 10 Jul 2025 22:14:38 GMT

You'll find out why I chose to work for Speedfitters. Well, I really didn't have much of a choice because I was a "C" student that barely graduated. My choices were: police officer, corrections officer, or soldier.

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Don't Judge Me

Thu, 10 Jul 2025 21:57:45 GMT

Pretty crazy picture, huh? I would say not to judge me until you know me. This will give you an idea how much my job sucks working for Speedfitters. Just for your info, I didn't cash in on the blind guy's parts, even though it would've been easy to. Being the nice guy that day cost me 200 bucks.

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My Crazy Job

Thu, 10 Jul 2025 21:19:03 GMT

I'm gonna tell you what a parts reclamation agent does, which is my job. You probably think you have a F-ed up job. And maybe you do. But mine I'm guessing is worse.

I show up at an accident scene before an ambulance at an accident scene and decide if a victim's arm or leg is reattached based on their insurance.

Basically, if you don't have money to get your arm or leg stitched back on, they get sold off and you receive a Speedfitter's prosthetic.

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