The Heartless Knaves
41 episodes
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Creator: Martin Vaux
Solo Fantasy Serial Audio Book
Synopsis:
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Language: English
Format: Audio Book
Continuity: Serial
Writing: Scripted
Voices: Solo
Genres: Fantasy, Comedy, Horror
Soundscape: Voices only
Maturity: Mature
Content warnings: / Abusive behaviour / Explicit language / Sexual content / Violence
Country of origin: United Kingdom
Transcript details: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55016512/chapters/139472815
Completion status: Finished
Not tagged: [Creator demographics] [Character demographics]
Click here to update these tags.
Episodes:
Sun, 29 Dec 2024 06:00:32 GMT
The final chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Grand Father Nikodemus finally arrives back at the Sunken Abbey to find that quite a few things have changed...
Expect Christopher to have a new station in life, Brunhilda to return to The Kitty's Whiskers, lots of different people and animals to be missing Sally, Rooks to finally go home, prophecies to come true across the Whale Road, Diesirae - now "The Scarred Queen" - to go and see a man about her heart, and for Silkin to drown his sorrows a dangerously long way away from his nearest and dearest.
Thank you so much for following the podcast across the last 39 weeks, and, if you would like more - because the second book is planned out but not written, and would be called The Carrion King, then we'll need a bigger audience. So, share The Heartless Knaves, let's see if there's demand for the second part of the planned trilogy, and, in the meantime, thank you SO MUCH for listening!
With much love, out of a very dark shadow,
Martin
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 38: The Heart Of The Matter
Sun, 22 Dec 2024 06:00:18 GMT
The penultimate chapter of The Pale Princess, in which The Other attacks Lludden, Christopher makes a mad dash to reunite with Diesirae, and Silkin and Rooks speed home just in time to get involved...
Expect zombie bears, a goodly number of explosions, mass-scale slaughter, for almost every major character in the narrative to finally end up in the same place at the same time, the goodies to kick some butt, and the baddies to get their just desserts!
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 37: Raking Over The Coals
Sun, 15 Dec 2024 06:00:33 GMT
The thirty-seventh chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Father Nikodemus makes it back to Prydain, Silkin and Rooks leave Brygof, and Christopher departs from Lludden to go home.
Expect massage oil, sneaky plotting, for Brian to have fallen in love, and for a villain who had seemingly disappeared for a while to make a triumphant return, seeking something vital from Archbishop Daevas...
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 36: If Wishes Were Horses
Sun, 08 Dec 2024 06:00:00 GMT
The thirty-sixth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Rooks continues to defend Southgate from anyone seeking to flee Laugborg, and Silkin drags his heels about leaving it himself.
Expect Herild and Gillian to make their way to The Auric's stables and for high drama to ensue, for Sally and Silkin to exchange a particularly meaningful kiss, Ruby and the other fine ladies of Bongle's House of Clunge to ride out like the vigilantes they are, and for two very old friends to make two new ones the morning after a long night of hideous violence and mayhem.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 01 Dec 2024 06:00:53 GMT
The thirty-fifth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Diesirae is escorted to The Alabastrine in the middle of the night, while in Laugborg Vestran's masquerade is in full swing...
Expect Sir Felix Sable to give Umbrago some grief, the big reveal about those red outfits and all of Herild's paper flowers, extraordinary violence, lashings of death, exploding lobsters, and for the Crown of Prydain to change hands - in more ways than one!
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 34: Dig Your Own Grave
Sun, 24 Nov 2024 06:00:00 GMT
The thirty-fourth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Sally and Silkin team up, Rooks becomes a one man wrecking crew, and the good ladies of Bongle's House of Clunge enjoy a night in the big city...
Expect subterfuge, guards getting shot with crossbows, Silkin to knock himself unconscious, a little palace intrigue, pear brandy, and some very, very large explosions.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 33: The Calm Before The Storm
Sun, 17 Nov 2024 06:00:02 GMT
The thirty-third chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Daevas and Isfrid reconnect with the High Council, Rooks completes the final steps of his plans, Diesirae learns who Sister Signe really is, and Silkin and Sally have a day out in Laugborg.
Expect icy deaths, a bit of welding, some playing of chess, dirty water to be spilled, a very pretty dress, things to not be quite as they appear, and to visit a secret underground shrine were more than a few story threads knit themselves together...
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 10 Nov 2024 06:00:21 GMT
The thirty-second chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Diesirae wakes up in The Alabastrine's dormitory, her heart now sealed into a Ventricular Sphere.
Expect Mother Bodril to be well meaning, for Cordelia to arrive with a 'Sister Signe', and to finally catch up with Sally. She, once settled into a very grand hotel in Laugborg, finally gets some space from Herild and reconnects with Silkin - all before we catch back up with Diesirae, who finds herself nursing two hearts instead of one...
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 03 Nov 2024 06:00:00 GMT
The thirty-first chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Rooks acquaints himself with some friendly sewer rats.
Expect a boat trip into a very dark cave, an excessive number of spiders, for Silkin to be Silkin, and for Rooks to be reunited with an old friend from school who is more than happy to help...
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 30: The Mills Of The Gods
Sun, 27 Oct 2024 06:00:16 GMT
The thirtieth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which, after quite while, we catch up with Father Nikodemus...
Expect plenty a bit of surgery, to meet a crafty old bishop and a Valladrian who has been having visions, an audience with the Queen of Gallia, and for the forging of an agreement which might just shape the fate of Prydain for several generations...
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 29: The Value Of Nothing
Sun, 20 Oct 2024 05:00:42 GMT
The twenty-ninth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Silkin and Rooks set about infiltrating the Blue Keep...
Expect plenty of Gothic decay, some arcane mystery, rain, thunder, lightning, for Rooks to get bored and set about improving things, Silkin to kidnap a dog, and for things to not go quite as well as either of them expected them to.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 13 Oct 2024 05:00:10 GMT
The twenty-eighth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which the Hands make good on their threats, Grubenholm is burned, and Nanny makes a stand at the Sunken Abbey.
Expect Colin the goat to rampage, flocks of rampaging murder chickens, Ned the horse to wake up slightly confused, and for Nanny to both bury the hatchet with Griselda and make her last stand in an inferno of rage, and love, towering flame and immutable style.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 27: Who Pays The Piper
Sun, 06 Oct 2024 05:00:33 GMT
The twenty-seventh chapter of The Pale Princess, in which we meet Jorund, The Speaker of Truths, as Umbrago and Brunhilda parade through Lludden.
Expect to catch up with Cordelia and her shadowy working in The Alabastrine, Aggie, Foxglove, and Diesirae, as she is made ready to have her heart sealed in glass in preparation for her upcoming marriage...
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 26: The Price of Everything
Sun, 29 Sep 2024 05:00:00 GMT
The twenty-sixth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Rooks organises the fencing of goods, Silkin helps, and Ruby hangs around until he's ready to play pirates...
Expect to meet a quite particular witch with an owl familiar, a man called Teddy who might not quite be all there, to encounter the Akkurok, some fun new weapons, and for Silkin to eventually say "Gyargh!"
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 22 Sep 2024 05:00:05 GMT
The twenty-fifth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Nanny is forced to address the problem of the King's Hands who have been bothering the Sunken Abbey, and The Other brings the residents of Grubenholm to church...
Expect Christopher to use some of his new training, Nanny to finally let loose a little bit, Marco to make himself useful, blood to spill, tea to be made as guided by a cat, and for Colin and the chickens to prepare for war!
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 15 Sep 2024 05:00:16 GMT
The twenty-fourth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which we follow Diesirae through a night in The Pit, a day in the Grey Keep, and an adventure through Lludden's streets...
Expect fighting, disfiguration, and for the solution to the off-hand problem, to catch up with Gironde and Eris during a session of portraiture, for Umbrago to poke his nose in, and to then head out into the city with Mathias on a little adventure.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 23: Steeds Of Another Colour
Sun, 08 Sep 2024 05:00:00 GMT
The twenty-third chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Silkin gets fed up of camping, Grouseboller meets a sticky end, and we arrive at a home from home: Bongle's House of Clunge.
Expect a little light breaking and entering, some torture, a series of delightful sex worker sisters, and to meet Luca, The Speaker of Lies, better known to his friends as "The Apple Cutter..."
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 22: Catch More Flies With Honey
Sun, 01 Sep 2024 05:00:00 GMT
The twenty-second chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Nanny begins training Christopher, Marco regains consciousness, and Gavriel welcomes a new visitor to the Grey Keep.
Expect punches, kicks, a bit of bowmanship, Eris having none of Gironde's nonsense, and The Other feeling a little bit possessive about his new best friend...
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 21: A Bird In The Hand
Sun, 25 Aug 2024 05:00:24 GMT
The twenty-first chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Vestran and his assistant unearth the treasure they have been looking for and Daevas frees a half-mad warrior nun who is justifiably hungry for revenge.
Expect giant spiders, wyvern bones, Silkin trying to be friendly with Sally, a spot of ice magic, and for Archbishop Salles to finally get what was coming to him...
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 18 Aug 2024 05:00:52 GMT
The twentieth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Silkin and Rooks finally hit the road - and Silkin lets off some steam by fighting an entire tavern worth of people...
Expect to also catch up with Beni, Diesirae, and Brunhilda - who is once again conscious - and to meet a very annoying highwayman called Lesley Fortinbras...
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 19: Ships In The Night
Sun, 11 Aug 2024 05:00:06 GMT
The nineteenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Patrick encounters the sea, Thorsten and Marco find themselves some lodgings, and Nanny refuses to say goodbye.
Expect Silkin being both sweet and a little bit annoying, Jarn getting some horns to the testicles, Sally learning how to shoot a crossbow round corners, and Rooks not only getting tooled up, but finally being equipped with clothes that make him look as he wants to be seen...
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 18: Cut Your Cloth Accordingly
Sun, 04 Aug 2024 05:00:20 GMT
The eighteenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Mildri, Jarn and Old Slag deliver the results of their labour...
Expect Silkin being both sweet and a little bit annoying, Jarn getting some horns to the testicles, Sally learning how to shoot a crossbow round corners, and Rooks not only getting tooled up, but finally being equipped with clothes that make him look as he wants to be seen...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 28 Jul 2024 05:00:00 GMT
The seventeenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Nanny goes to Lludden for the day, The Other is reunited with his body, and Umbrago has his much-needed bath.
Expect a chance meeting on a very old road, some revelations about an old optician, a frosty conversation between Nanny and her sister, a plague pit filled with blood, and some musings on what it would be like to transform into a bird...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 21 Jul 2024 05:00:39 GMT
The sixteenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which the Master of Revels is roused in the night, the gang reunite at the Sunken Abbey, and Umbrago stays up well past his bed time.
Expect to meet Beni's wife, Silkin showing off his new sword, Sally losing her patience, Christopher to find an outlet of sorts, and a jolly nice shindig with Sudwork's finest, Brunhilda and Foxglove included...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 15: He Who Fails To Prepare
Sun, 14 Jul 2024 05:00:19 GMT
The fifteenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which an Archbishop tries to exercise his perversion, Sally and Silkin wend their way home, and Diesirae has a training session with a difference...
Expect lamb chops getting short shrift, The Other being seen from a distance (then wisely fled from), and the introduction of a very cool sword...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 14: Strange Bedfellows
Sun, 07 Jul 2024 05:00:00 GMT
The fourteenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Umbrago is a creep, Diesirae has some alone time, and the good folk of Sudwork once again encounter The Other...
Expect a queen mother being terrorized, a bit of body horror blended with some smut, and Brunhilda seizing the moment just as things get a bit out of hand...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 13: Preaching To The Converted
Sun, 30 Jun 2024 05:00:00 GMT
The thirteenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Sally and Silkin go to spy on Vestran's carriages, Rooks sends a letter, and Herild welcomes the gang to Formhall.
Expect stories of Silkin's childhood, Mooncaller showing reluctance, Nikodemus preaching, Rooks trying to speak to hares, and Sally eating deeply questionable street foods...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 12: Without Fear Or Favour
Sun, 23 Jun 2024 05:00:39 GMT
The twelfth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Marco wakes up in a sewer in an unenviable situation, and The Order of the Fens gets down to business.
Expect some sinister internal voices, rain, delicious stew, some poop jokes, a bit of Ventricular Sphere action, and Silkin voicing his opinion on his new living arrangements...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 16 Jun 2024 05:00:46 GMT
The eleventh chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Diesirae faces up to some uncomfortable truths and Sally undertakes her Second Vow.
Expect angry urination, conspiratorial men in hoods, plenty of blood, more than a little magic, and revelation or two about Nanny...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 10: Eye Of The Beholder
Sun, 09 Jun 2024 05:00:11 GMT
The tenth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Father Nikodemus acquires a new mount, Brian gets jealous, and Silkin and Rooks head into town.
Expect Sally to be annoyed, Griselda the cat to get a bit sarcastic, a creepy executioner and his rather put-upon dolly girlfriend, and a visit to a rather mysterious optician...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 02 Jun 2024 05:00:00 GMT
The ninth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Diesirae has a riding lesson, King Umbrago throws his weight around, and Marco's day goes from already very bad to much, much worse...
Expect a handsome horse handler, a High Council full of not very nice people, some pears, an unfortunate prison guard, and perhaps the grimmest form of indigestion ever described in fiction.
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 26 May 2024 05:00:53 GMT
The eighth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Mildri tans some leather, Rooks acquires some rudimentary footwear, and Silkin gets a snazzy new outfit...
Expect a slightly mellower chapter this week, including some stamping in urine, a bit of anxiety, Nanny being mysterious, some corsetry, high heels, and vows for bloody revenge!
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 19 May 2024 05:00:03 GMT
The seventh chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Nanny drinks a cup of tea, Rooks explains how he communicates, and Sally feels sidelined...
Expect a conversation with a goat, Christopher in fresh trousers, the introduction of several feathered friends, some time at a forge, and Silkin making a new, vicious, rather pointy friend...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 12 May 2024 05:00:38 GMT
The sixth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which we reconnect with Marco, guard at the Grey Keep, who's been given the night off...
Expect some detective work, several sex workers, pie, gravy, and a little bit of smut.
Plus, a rather gribbly monster...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 5: The Hand That's Dealt
Sun, 05 May 2024 05:00:00 GMT
The fifth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Nanny provides lunch, Nikodemus lays down some groundrules, and Silkin and Rooks get a little bit of clarity.
Expect Christopher being afraid, Sally taking things in her stride (and doing a bit more stabbing), religious people being shifty, and irreligious people being shiftier still.
And, of course, some mutilation...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 28 Apr 2024 05:00:52 GMT
The fourth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which a painting from a foreign court makes its way to the Grey Keep, enabling Diesirae, the Pale Princess herself, to finally lay eyes on her betrothed.
Expect a seedy painter, a silly king, a whole host of new maybe goodies, maybe baddies, and the introduction of the novel's title character...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 21 Apr 2024 05:00:29 GMT
The third chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Christopher, Sally and Father Nikodemus join Nanny, a Grand Mother Superior, to do a spot of make do and mend.
Expect a few toots, a little self-flagellation, top-drawer needlework, lots of bewitched leeches, and the resurrection of a pair of our key players...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 14 Apr 2024 05:00:06 GMT
The second chapter of The Pale Princess, in which we meet Sally, who, dressed as a washerwoman, sneaks into a very important castle to get up to some well-planned mischief.
Cue a little bit of magic, some tip-top larceny, several guards having the wool pulled over their eyes, and a touch of light-to-moderate murder...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 1: No Rest For The Wicked
Sun, 07 Apr 2024 05:00:26 GMT
The first chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Christopher, a young grave-robber, does the midnight bidding of Father Nikodemus, a hoary old priest with a penchant for alchemy, trickery, and long-planned insurrection.
Expect lashing rain, thunder, lightning, a flooded plague pit full of corpses, and the inner thoughts of a grumpy horse.
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 0: Introducing The Heartless Knaves
Sun, 07 Apr 2024 05:00:14 GMT
A warm welcome to the world of The Heartless Knaves, a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast and novel from Martin Vaux.
In this short introductory episode, discover the purpose and nature of the project, then sharpen your daggers, prime your crossbow, and prepare to take vengeance.
And maybe do some kissing, if there's time...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace,
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 24 Mar 2024 06:00:50 GMT
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
A new dark fantasy audiobook podcast set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, Book I, The Pale Princess, launches with Chapter 1: No Rest For The Wicked on Sunday 7th April 2024. So tell your friends. And your enemies. Especially if it's the last thing they'll ever hear...
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.