The Heartless Knaves
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Creator: Martin Vaux
Fantasy, Comedy, Horror Single-voiced Serial Audio Book
Synopsis:
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Format: Audio Book
Continuity: Serial
Voices: Single
Genres: Fantasy, Comedy, Horror
Framing device:
Maturity: Mature
Creator demographics:
Character demographics:
Content warnings (creator selected): / Abusive behaviour / Explicit language / Sexual content / Violence
Country of origin: United Kingdom
Transcript details: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55016512/chapters/139472815
Click here to update these tags.
Episodes:
Sun, 12 May 2024 05:00:38 GMT
The sixth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which we reconnect with Marco, guard at the Grey Keep, who's been given the night off...
Expect some detective work, several sex workers, pie, gravy, and a little bit of smut.
Plus, a rather gribbly monster...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 5: The Hand That's Dealt
Sun, 05 May 2024 05:00:00 GMT
The fifth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Nanny provides lunch, Nikodemus lays down some groundrules, and Silkin and Rooks get a little bit of clarity.
Expect Christopher being afraid, Sally taking things in her stride (and doing a bit more stabbing), religious people being shifty, and irreligious people being shiftier still.
And, of course, some mutilation...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 28 Apr 2024 05:00:52 GMT
The fourth chapter of The Pale Princess, in which a painting from a foreign court makes its way to the Grey Keep, enabling Diesirae, the Pale Princess herself, to finally lay eyes on her betrothed.
Expect a seedy painter, a silly king, a whole host of new maybe goodies, maybe baddies, and the introduction of the novel's title character...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 21 Apr 2024 05:00:29 GMT
The third chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Christopher, Sally and Father Nikodemus join Nanny, a Grand Mother Superior, to do a spot of make do and mend.
Expect a few toots, a little self-flagellation, top-drawer needlework, lots of bewitched leeches, and the resurrection of a pair of our key players...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 14 Apr 2024 05:00:06 GMT
The second chapter of The Pale Princess, in which we meet Sally, who, dressed as a washerwoman, sneaks into a very important castle to get up to some well-planned mischief.
Cue a little bit of magic, some tip-top larceny, several guards having the wool pulled over their eyes, and a touch of light-to-moderate murder...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 1: No Rest For The Wicked
Sun, 07 Apr 2024 05:00:26 GMT
The first chapter of The Pale Princess, in which Christopher, a young grave-robber, does the midnight bidding of Father Nikodemus, a hoary old priest with a penchant for alchemy, trickery, and long-planned insurrection.
Expect lashing rain, thunder, lightning, a flooded plague pit full of corpses, and the inner thoughts of a grumpy horse.
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace.
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Chapter 0: Introducing The Heartless Knaves
Sun, 07 Apr 2024 05:00:14 GMT
A warm welcome to the world of The Heartless Knaves, a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast and novel from Martin Vaux.
In this short introductory episode, discover the purpose and nature of the project, then sharpen your daggers, prime your crossbow, and prepare to take vengeance.
And maybe do some kissing, if there's time...
The Heartless Knaves is a new dark fantasy audiobook podcast featuring clever heists, gory scraps, sad bits, saucy bits, murderous nuns, talking donkeys, and an 8-year-old boy king who won’t take no for an answer.
Set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, the story hinges on the macabre adventures of assassins Silkin and Rooks, who may be dead, their hearts stolen by the church, their severed heads mounted on the royal battlements, but there’s no rest for the wicked...
Blending black humour and squishy violence with a whip-smart plot and a cast of loveable rogues, the first book, The Pale Princess, is a bit like a haunted roller coaster: fundamentally unsafe, shuddering in the wind, and threatening to come off the rails as it gathers pace,
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, 24 Mar 2024 06:00:50 GMT
If you have ever been betrayed, and wanted revenge.
If you have ever had your heart cut out, and wanted it back.
If you have ever known something was sickeningly wrong, and wanted to wreak havoc in reply, you are one of us.
For we are The Heartless Knaves.
A new dark fantasy audiobook podcast set in a twisted version of the English Renaissance, Book I, The Pale Princess, launches with Chapter 1: No Rest For The Wicked on Sunday 7th April 2024. So tell your friends. And your enemies. Especially if it's the last thing they'll ever hear...
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.