God Knows Podcast: Live from Valhalla
16 episodes
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Creator: Monkey Pump Productions
Full cast Comedy Serial Audio Drama
Synopsis:
Thor, the legendary god of old, is a little vexed with ”Head Office’s” rehousing scheme. His tier-four divinity lodgings - a dilapidated terrace in the North of England - now hosts the once mighty Valhalla within an attic conversion. He’s also been lumbered with a motley crew of divine D listers: Dionysus, the alcoholic god of wine and party time; Cupid, the snack-addicted god of love and poor bodily hygiene; Amon, an oily demon with a passion for musical theatre. They’re not 100% sure of what a podcast is, but the guys live in hope that it’ll raise their profiles and help reclaim some of their former glory. And with heavenly guests popping in each episode, god knows, they might yet do it!
Format: Audio Drama
Continuity: Serial
Writing: Scripted
Voices: Full cast
Narrator: None
Genres: Comedy, Fantasy, Occult and Supernatural
Framing device: Show within a show
Maturity: Mature
Creator demographics: / Neurodivergent
Content warnings: / Alcohol and drug abuse / Violence
Country of origin: United Kingdom
Completion status: Partial
Not tagged: [Character demographics] [Transcript]
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Episodes:
Season 02, Ep 04 - Ding Dong Merrily We’re High - Christmas Special
Wed, 11 Dec 2024 13:21:15 +0100
Come in out of the snow and prepare to have your chestnuts roasted on an open fire, it’s the God Knows tinsel-festooned special!
Everyone's invited to the gods' divine shindig. Valhalla is rocking! And, being a multi-faith pantheon, the lads have got Yuletide, Christmas and hedonistic Bacchanalia covered. Get ready to meet some of the weirdest seasonal characters on the planet. They’ll even treat you to a heart warming party piece or three. Such luxury. Does your pathetic mortal soul even deserve it?
Hosted by: Thor (Blustering God of War and Thunder), Dionysus (Inebriated God of Wine and Party Time) and Cupid (Slovenly God of Love and Crisps).
With special seasonal guest appearances by: Belsnickel, Blitzen, El Caganer, Elf on a Shelf and the 13 Icelandic Yule Lads.
Warning: contains foul language and traditional Christmas scenes of whip-happy Bavarian frenzies.
God Knows Halloween Theme (bonus content)
Mon, 28 Oct 2024 11:51:03 +0100
Taken from our 2024 Halloween spectacular, "One night at Gran’s".
Season 02, Ep 03 - One night at Gran’s - Halloween special
Sun, 27 Oct 2024 14:56:24 +0100
In the midst of Thor’s convalescence, the boys receive a mysterious invitation from the geriatric proprietor of the local adult wares emporium. They should know better than to trust Gran Summers, but the reward for completing her quest is more tempting than the proverbial Golden Fleece. Will a surprise gift from Odin help our heroes win the day, or is there a darker, more powerful force waiting to smite them down? This legendary Halloween special is not for the faint hearted.
Warning: contains foul language and monstrous latex nobblers.
Gnome Force Theme (bonus content)
Thu, 19 Sep 2024 15:56:59 +0200
Small height, big fight! Gnome Force! - Taken from our latest episode "Goddlebox".
Tue, 10 Sep 2024 19:52:03 +0200
In the midst of a cost of living crisis, what better way to save a few florins than a cosy night in watching the televisual box? Cupid’s managed to bag a dodgy Firestick from the local bridge trolls and it comes with access to the usually-restricted godly channels. Say hello to chariot racing’s Flaming Ring of Death and the cult 1980s action classic that is Gnome Force. Small height, big fight! So catchy. Oh, and Zeus, mighty King of the Olympus Pantheon, drops by too. But will Thor’s loincloth survive unsoiled?
Warning: contains foul language and harmonic gaseous expulsions.
Thor’s Birthday Planning Committee (Amon’s demon diaries, entry 03)
Sun, 21 Jul 2024 17:54:26 +0200
The gods plan the biggest blowout this side of the Trojan War. Dionysus, in his role as Official Party Meister, has sorted the venue, buffet and music, but what about the extensive celebrity guest list? Will Miriam Margolyes accept her invitation? Cupid is crossing his tiny golden wings she does.
Warning: contains ‘passing’ references to the Court of King Caractacus.
Kraken’s breath (Amon’s demon diaries, entry 02)
Tue, 25 Jun 2024 15:09:26 +0200
Cupid has eaten a family pack of rancid prawn crackers. Uh oh, the outhouse has been infested with verminous gnomes, and Dionysus has something special fermenting in the indoor latrine. It’s a full code brown emergency situation. What is our cuddly God of Love to do?
Warning: contains foul language and references to noxious brown fountains.
Clean up on aisle three (Amon’s demon diaries, entry 01)
Wed, 19 Jun 2024 11:36:50 +0200
Thor and Dionysus trudge the Chuffed Buyer Supermarket aisles on a quest for godly sustenance. Unfortunately, our God of Wine and Party Time has the divine munchies and his pester power is dialled up to 11. But, as we all know, Thor isn’t made of florins… or a patient temperament.
Warning: contains foul language and references to off-brand products.
Season 02, Ep 01 - The wickedest man in the world?
Thu, 30 May 2024 16:24:25 +0200
The boys are joined by the wickedest man in the world - no, not Tom Hanks, that’s just a baseless internet rumour. It’s the wandering spirit of Aleister Crowley that’s seeking to make a demonic pact with Amon. Surely our resident imp can’t be stupid enough to sign the contract. But how exactly do Boudicca, man jam and Cheryl Baker’s legs come into the mix? Tune in to find out more. If you dare… Mwah, mwah, mwah!
Warning: contains foul language and references to unnatural goat shenanigans.
’Twas the Night Before Yuletide (A Visit from Odin, bonus content)
Wed, 20 Dec 2023 12:21:18 +0100
Thor delivers this enchanting Viking poem, evoking the magic and majesty of a Norse Yule. Wonderful!
O Flesh-Mass Tree (bonus content)
Mon, 18 Dec 2023 11:35:39 +0100
From our latest Yuletide spectacular. Enjoy this traditional Norse carol!
Season 01, Ep 05 - Christmas, Yuletide, Bacchanalia extravaganza
Fri, 15 Dec 2023 13:09:14 +0100
The boys warmly welcome you to their sensational seasonal special. Of course, being gods of different faiths, their celebratory traditions aren't exactly aligned. It's not easy to reconcile a heady mix of entrails-bedecked trees, vomitoriums and Mariah Carey. No matter, a couple of St Nick's elves pop in for a tinsel-tastic interview. Well, they used to work for Santa, anyway!
Warning: contains foul language and references to elven gimpery.
Season 01, Ep 04 - The Mothman cometh
Fri, 10 Nov 2023 16:25:18 +0100
Dion’s favourite cryptid has a substance abuse problem and, being half moth, that substance is photons. The gods have blacked-out Valhalla in preparation, but will this be enough to prevent their guest from O.D.ing on sweet, sweet light? There’s no denying, Mothman is one weird dude.
Warning: contains foul language and references to the consumption of granny knickers.
Season 01, Ep 03 - River Styx reverse back flip splits
Wed, 18 Oct 2023 16:50:02 +0200
With Amon in charge of booking tonight’s guest, you’d expect it to be someone crazed and demonic. And you’d be right. Much to Thor and Dionysus’ vexation, Charon, the underworld ferryman, visits Valhalla for a song and dance spectacular.
Warning: contains foul language and extended periods of musical theatre.
Get in touch:
@godknowspodcast (X, Twitter)
godknowspodcast@gmail.com
Brought to you by:
Monkey Pump Productions
Wed, 18 Oct 2023 16:45:07 +0200
The boys welcome Momus, god of satire and mockery, to Valhalla. Thor, a lifelong fan, is in great spirits, but will the clowning around get out of hand?
A special guest appearance from Herbert Channing, comedic giant of the working men’s club scene, makes this an episode you’d be f*****g bonkers to miss.
Warning: contains foul language and intimate descriptions of clown anatomy.
Get in touch:
@godknowspodcast (X, Twitter)
godknowspodcast@gmail.com
Brought to you by:
Monkey Pump Productions
Season 01, Ep 01 - God of love and crisps
Wed, 18 Oct 2023 16:22:40 +0200
From the hallowed feasting tables of Valhalla, join Thor, Dionysus and Amon for their inaugural episode. And to kickstart their divine new podcast, the boys interview a real A-lister. But he shouldn’t expect a warm reception. The homeless Cupid has been imposing on the gods’ hospitality for weeks. He may be the god of love (and, possibly, crisps) but the living room settee is now riper than a dung troll’s cleft.
Warning: contains foul language and puerile godly behaviour.
Get in touch:
@godknowspodcast (X, Twitter)
godknowspodcast@gmail.com
Brought to you by:
Monkey Pump Productions