RETREAT COMEDY
15 episodes
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Creator: Retreat Comedy
Full cast Comedy Serial Audio Drama
Synopsis:
Comedy Fiction- An Irish arts residency in a grand estate with oddball artists, poets, writers, and sculptors. ☘️S1- SHANNON, a spoiled Irish-American divorcee/Textile Artist (of dubious talents), embarks on a transformative journey to an arts residency in Ireland. Her recklessness puts the residency in peril. ☘️SEASON 2- A longing for a baby emerges from the ashes of grief & fortune for TERESA (formerly known as the maid). A Northern Irish priest offers dating advice while her eco-abstainer pal Gunter stands on guard. (Feat. DJ MERCURY)
Format: Audio Drama
Continuity: Serial
Writing: Scripted
Voices: Full cast
Genres: Comedy
Completion status: Partial
Not tagged: [Framing device] [Maturity] [Creator demographics] [Character demographics] [Country of origin] [Transcript] [Content warnings]
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Episodes:
Tue, 07 Jan 2025 17:50:00 GMT
Teresa inherited her workplace; The Katherine O'Mara Arts Residency, an artist’s retreat.
All Teresa wants is a baby-- but Gunter is more interested in pursuing his vows of eco-abstinence. Will Teresa have to settle for the old schoolyard bully Malachy McCourt? He tries to win Teresa's heart--and her significant inheritance-- by weaponizing his significant abs-of-steel.
Synopsis
Season 2 opens with a funeral, narrated by self-deluded radio celebrity DAMIEN.
TERESA , the newly discovered heiress of the Kathleen O'Mara Artist's Retreat, is devastated that Nora, the former chef, is dead. The residency continues to run on one leg with new residents arriving during the funeral.
Long-time resident MARY, (aka the drippy poet), has taken-over the cooking ever since Nora died.
AGNÉS, the haute-bohème artist, now lives at Una’s decrepit B&B.
GUNTER, the stoat-obsessed geek, now lives outdoors though it is starting to flood.
New comers MERCURY, a superstar DJ is on the run from her London haunts.
WENDELL, a celebrity Irish-American Dance Champion is taking a break from his manager/agent/mother.
JONATHAN, the vacuous boyfriend of a footballer gloats-on about his tell-all memoir about being a HAB.
SEAMUS, a shady priest lurks the premises.
All vie for attention along with JOCELYN, Wendell's Momager, who is staying at Una’s B & B.
The gardens start flooding and the house is under threat, and with it Teresa's future and her dreams of maternity.
Tue, 07 Jan 2025 17:49:00 GMT
(THE FUNERAL)
Welcome back to the Kathleen O'Mara Arts Residency. Sadly, we find ourselves at a funeral.
Irish celebrity DAMIEN MCKAGAN is back, narrating live at the funeral of NORA O'LEARY, the late cook of the residency.
A.R.S.E. rep & poet, resident MARY WARD steps up to the altar to read from her new poetry collection ... much to the groans and chagrin of all the mourners. Former resident artist AGNES DE LAMBALLE is unconsolable (but looks fab in her ironing board mourning hat).
New heiress/ director TERESA BLACK, (the former maid) is sad but clearly getting used to her new status.
During the funeral, Damien has no qualms about asking for retakes being an ambitious director-auteur now. The director-auteur demands excellence from the funeral attendees.
New resident WENDELL O'SHAUGHNESSY (a young American Irish dance champion) has been recruited to perform altar-boy duties. He takes genuflecting to a new dimension.
New resident, FATHER SEAMUS (writing his prison chaplaincy memoirs) has left his writing room and cigarettes to officiate the mass.
Unbeknownst to the others, except the priest... MALACHY MCCOURT is out of prison and up to no good again.
A late comer enters. Could it be? Yes. Bling-bling resident, superstar DJ MERCURY arrives and takes on the father, the son and the holy spirit. She's recovering from bad press and hot on the trail of LiIL PETE MOSS-- the mysterious, masked, bad-boy heartthrob Tiktokker to rebrand her sinking career.
Teresa fan girls DJ Mercury. And she's not the only one. But Father Seamus is having none of this.
New resident, HAB (Husband and Boyfriend) JONATHAN, is writing a self-help book on relationships and is here for all the juicy, celebrity gossip, diet and beauty tips.
Stage-Mom and entertainment agent/manager JOCELYN finds her son Wendell on the altar... much to his despair. She tries to get him back to the dance studio to finesse his triple-axel triple slip jigs. But Father Seamus is having none of this.
LATER IN THE GRAVEYARD... Mary has agreed to replace Nora in the kitchen much to the chagrin of the mourners.
UNA (the disheveled owner of the B & B who lives with Agnes) is found napping in Nora's new grave.
Audio artist, stoat ecologist, and former resident GUNTER warns of a flood swamping the grounds. Teresa is glad to see him again.
After the burial, Damien shows his rushes from the documentary and they discover Malachy in the background of the burial site grasping his ol' shovel once again. He's back from his time in prison for murdering Teresa's parents.
Gunter hits the jackpot when he zooms in to spot TWIN STOATS.
Tue, 07 Jan 2025 17:48:00 GMT
(CURRY CHIPS)
No one is paying heed to Teresa. The residency and everything is falling apart.
Beloved Nora is still dead. Mary has taken over the kitchen, trying to fill Nora's shoes but failing.
Gunter is rejected when he turns up with his sonic-polisher. He's ready for his bi-monthly silver-polishing sessions with Teresa. She's too busy. It's not easy being a new heiress.
After Mary's increasing demands upon her, Teresa trots off to fix the heating and gather some herbs. If only Nora was still here.
Malachy is in the boiler room. He's been waiting for Teresa. He is super sorry about killing her parents et al. It was a long time ago. He thought about her in prison. Prison changes a man.
Teresa reassesses. Allows him to atone for his sins by mowing the lawn. Meanwhile...
Jocelyn is cleaning and managing Una at Una's filthy B&B but Una convinces her to stop. Hoarder-Tourism® is still an untapped sector in adventure tourism. Una's B&B oozes with authenticity ...and black mold.
At dinner, Fr. Seamus exerts his menacing power.
Jonathan, the celebrity boyfriend of a football star, rattles on with vacuous chatter about his appearance..HABS (husbands & boyfriends) and WAGS (wives & girlfriends) in football.
DJ Mercury blusters, boasts and name-drops. Seamus senses her frailty.
Wendall handles his domineering Mother/Manager and the other.
Teresa is on the brink of hysterics.
Damien continues making his documentary.
Malachy's appearance lawn mowing sparks Mary's outrage. Gunter agrees because long grass is better for stoats. Teresa retorts that Malachy is, in fact, the only useful person amongst the whole lot.
She's had enough of their nonsense. She offers Malachy his old job back and runs off to the chipper with him on his ride. The artists are left behind. Stunned.
Tue, 07 Jan 2025 17:47:00 GMT
(TUPAC)
Mercury hits an all-time low when even L'il Pete Moss ghosts her. She is alone.
Jocelyn is worried about her son who is a resident dancer. She breaks into the residency by climbing through DJ Mercury's window. Jocelyn catches Mercury red-handed hiding an illicit weed stash and hiding an illicit cat named Tupac. Jocelyn blackmails Mercury to help her check up on her son Wendell. She's worried sick. Jocelyn agrees.
Mercury attends an unwanted confessional with Fr Seamus. Malachy interrupts their solace moment. Seamus throws her out. Malachy enters.
Agnes escapes from Jocelyn who is sharing Una's B & B. Agnes and Mary learn about Teresa's desire to have a baby. But with whom? And in that old frock?
Malachy confesses his progress on purposefully flooding the residency and the waters are rising. As planned. The two are plotting to cash in on EU land grants. Get rid of the artists. Kill Teresa. And live off Teresa's inheritance. But first Seamus needs to marry Teresa to Malachy.
Malachy has a rival. Teresa would never consider Malachy, (the man who killed her father and her childhood bully) as the father of her child. Teresa has her sights set on Gunter.
Seducing Gunter will be tricky. He is only interested in stoats. She needs help from her friends to do a head-to-toe makeover. Jonathan is just the man to help.
Even with Jonathan's custom make-over, Gunter proves hard to seduce. Gunter identifies as an eco-abstainer (i.e.he has forgone sex for the sake of the climate). He goes off to attend to his stoats leaving Teresa heartbroken, and not even a little bit pregnant.
Mercury is heartbroken. Her cat Tupac has gone missing. The waters are rising.
Teresa runs into Mercury in the swamp. She convinces Teresa to be outrageous. Make Gunter jealous by stepping out with Malachy. Mercury continues her frantic search.
Teresa borrows DJ Mercury's clothes and runs off to town with Malachy. (Her yellow latex jumpsuit is not just sexy-- but also waterproof & stain-resistant. Perfect for the local chipper. )
She fails to make Gunter jealous. Desperate, Teresa settles on Malachy and drags him to the shed. She wants a baby and Malachy wants her... dead.
Tue, 07 Jan 2025 17:43:00 GMT
(The Proposal)
Malachy reports to Seamus in the confessional that Teresa wants a baby and that they had sex on the fertilizer bag in the shed. Seamus is not interested in the details.
Malachy throws Teresa a surprise proposal party. Teresa is ambushed by a crowd of people at her door including the priest. Malachy lets them in. Jonathan and Mercury tidy up Teresa.
Malachy proposes to Teresa. There is a toast. Teresa finds herself engaged. Fr Seamus can marry them soon.
Seamus secretly sends Malachy to crank up the swamp. Mary's cooking is unpopular. They call for pizza.
The bridge is flooded. The pizza guy can't get through. Mercury wonders if L’il Pete Moss is coming for her. Agnes dares say what they were all keeping to themselves that L'il Pete Moss was never coming.
Mercury fears her career is truly over. Plus she is estranged from her family. Friends. Cat. Who can she turn to? She has nothing.
The swamp enters inside the house. The waters rise quickly. Everyone scrambles for safety, except for Gunter who braves the outdoors to save his beloved stoats from drowning. Mary dashes upstairs to save her draft poems.
Jocelyn comes to the rescue of Wendell, in a boat she crafted from Una's hoarded junk. Wendell won't come without his friends. They climb aboard to safety.
Tue, 07 Jan 2025 17:41:00 GMT
(THE PRE-MARRIAGE COURSE)
At Una's, Teresa is throwing up. She thinks she is pregnant. Gunter disagrees; he has been tracking her ovulation cycle.
Gunter has saved his stoats. The stoats are safe in the attic. Teresa plays the tin whistle to round them all up as she vomits.
Una is not out skip diving this time. She is free-diving in the swamp waters.Una is able to hold her breath for long periods.
Wendell's return to Jocelyn is not going well. Wendell's adolescent outbursts shock Jocelyn. Mercury is backing him up. Jocelyn is also treating Mercury like a teenager calling for her to grow up and return to the music studio.
Malachy and Seamus get Teresa to start the pre-marriage course. They overwhelm her with documents to sign including the EU forms . When she questions them they lie and say it stands for "Ecclesiastical Union". Malachy tries to confound her with legalese. He claims to have studied law in prison. She is in despair about the house flooding under her watch. Teresa is dubious but will sign if it is in the best interest of their baby.
Mary is upset about the swamp and suspects Malachy has something to do with it. She also questions Teresa's pregnancy. Seamus says God works in mysterious ways. Mary cannot get help to stop the wedding.
Agnes is happy living in the swamp on a raft with Una.
Mercury is divinely inspired by Una's and is back to songwriting.
Wendell is occupied with standing-up to his Jocelyn. She is coming to terms with her son's imminent independence.
Mercury notices Wendell's prodigious talents in the mixing studio.
At times, Jonathan appears much more intellectual than before, making pointed comments about the EU.
Teresa and Mary fall out. Mary is a bad cook. Everyone is losing weight .
Teresa is weaker and weaker. Damien continues his documentary. He films Jonathan dressing Teresa in white wellingtons and a bride's gown. As she deteriorates, Damien films her as she admits that Gunter was her first choice.
...Wedding Bells Ring.
Tue, 07 Jan 2025 17:40:00 GMT
(THE WEDDING)
Teresa is in a dire condition as Damien rolls the cameras.
Tupac's miraculous appearance leads to a divine moment for Wendell. Mercury regains a sliver of hope.
Mary fails to rally the troops to stop the wedding. Agnes is indifferent.. as per usual. The bride and groom are pronounced husband and wife. Teresa collapses. Malachy and Seamus count their blessings. Damien rolls the cameras as Teresa rolls down the hill --towards the swamp. They chase after Teresa's comatose body.
The grieving friends mourn their dearly departed. Malachy takes over. The whole lot of them are evicted from the house and Una's B&B. Forever. His plot with Seamus is in full swing.
Enter Gunter. He is late to the dramatic wake. The demise of his best friend Teresa and the eviction notice leave him unemotional. He produces a small vial of the antidote for the stoat saliva that Malachy used to poison Teresa.
Teresa is revived, relieved but devastated to learn she is not with child. Gunter offers her a second vial of his very own sperm. An eco-abstainer can be a father, but not a lover.
Jonathan changes registers and reveals his true identity. Interpol agent. He arrests Malachy for destruction of property, fraud, attempted murder, and the murder of Nora. The marriage is invalid. "Father" Seamus is not a man of the cloth but a known criminal and imposter. The two men flee.
DJ Mercury rejoices to be reunited with Tupac who leads her to a plug. She caps the plug and saves the land from full flooding.
Wendall reveals himself as L’il Pete Moss. His mother Jocelyn is shocked but ready to represent him and DJ Mercury.
Mercury announces she has dropped a rap of the classic song "Sally Gardens" with L’il Pete Moss himself. The proceeds will pay for any restoration to keep their creative haven going. Hooray.
Cue the beat. The series finishes with a song feat. Mercury and L'il Pete aka Wendell.
Mon, 23 Dec 2024 15:00:11 GMT
Retreat is the creation of
Andrea Ipaktchi &Aoibheann McCann
(RECAP) audio: Alan Preims, Galway
Season 1 audio: Yasaman Sarhangi
Welcome to Knocknahay, a small village on a stoat-infested lake, somewhere in Ireland, that is home to the Kathleen O'Mara Residential Centre for the Arts.
Here, BRIGIT, an unsuccessful writer/Celtic Healer meets for an artistic collaboration with SHANNON, her Goop-inspired, Irish-American.
The pair rattle the other residents: MARY (a diligent Irish poet), AGNÉS (an aristocratic French sculptor ), GUNTER (a steadfast, German soundscape artist), DAMIEN (an Irish radio celebrity turned auteur) and the staff: BARNEY (the bumbling English director) NORA (the chef), TERESA (the kitchen maid) and the new kitchen temp.
As the artist-residents and staff prepare for a group exhibition to inaugurate the controversial Megacorp Exhibition Hall forced onto them by a would-be heiress, her groundskeeper grunt. But a mysterious, celebrity Russian dissident artist and an army of stoats have other plans.
Audio-fiction. Themes: the arts, family ties, Irish history, turnips, globalization, stoats, sex, dissidents, healers, the 1%, Greta Thunberg, the creeping commercialization of the arts, and homeopathic underarm deodorant.
Starring:
Fred McCluskey as: Olivoff Smirnoff,
Damien McKegan & Malachy McCourt
Helen Gregg as: Teresa Black, Agnes (aka Marie-Therese France Marie-France DeLamballe) & Skye Jetjeski
Aoibheann McCann as: Nora O’Leary, Mary Ward
Gavin Morgan as: Barney Watson, Gunter Hermelin & Brigit Smith
Andi Ipaktchi as: Shannon Mastriano & AI voice
Thu, 08 Sep 2022 10:25:36 GMT
RETREAT, an audio fiction comedy. These are some takes from our workshopping. Please subscribe.
RETREAT is an audio comedy series set in Knocknahay, a small village on a stoat-infested lake, somewhere in Ireland, home to the Kathleen O'Mara Residential Centre for the Arts.
Six 20-minute episodes, written by female comedy duo Aoibheann McCann and Andi Ipaktchi. RETREAT has a playful look at the commercialization of the arts, genealogy, Irish history, cloning, Irish-Americans, ecology, DNA, globalization, the life cycle of stoats & the 1%. Also turnips.
Trailer sound production by Saoirse McCann-Callanan.
Thu, 08 Sep 2022 09:11:36 GMT
Knocknahay, IRELAND- The Kathleen O'Mara Residential Centre for the Arts.
We meet the NORA, the cook and housekeeper who was hired by the late, beloved, Hollywood film star, KATHLEEN O'MARA herself-- and her younger assistant TERESA, in the kitchen. The agency sent a new KITCHEN TEMP, who is silent but an ace at chopping turnips. Teresa strikes the gong calling residents to the dining room for dinner.
SHANNON, an Irish-American textile-artist has just arrived in Ireland. She saves a seat and is ecstatic to soon be meeting her cousin BRIGIT, a Druidic poet and Celtic healer-- but Brigit is running late and dinner is being held-up by her.
DAMIEN, a famous, radio personality turned historian-- wants to find out more about MARY's A.R.S.E. (Artist's Residency Society Exchange)status. ARSE is a clannish, worldwide artist’s organisation, founded by James Joyce himself and shrouded in secrecy.
GUNTER is an audio soundscape artist and eco-warrior. His mission to collect audio samples of the king stoat's mating rituals is not going well.
BARNEY, the British-born residency director is worried about funding to keep the place from ruin.
AGNES, an aristocratic French artist who refuses to be categorized-- doesn't care about much unless.. it involves her hero: OLIVOFF SMIRNOFF, a famous Russian dissident artist-- whose location is unknown.
MALACHY, the residency groundskeeper-- receives a call from his childhood playmate, SKYE JETJETSKI, a corporate image consultant, niece to the late, film star Kathleen O'Mara and thwarted heiress. The conversation doesn't bode well for the artists.
Barney announces that MEGACORP, a scandalous, worldwide corporation, is backing much-needed renovations and will build a new exhibition hall. With much opposition to the plan from Mary, the plans are debated. Dinner is waiting for Brigit to arrive.
Brigit finally arrives, the cousins unite and dinner is served. The night is almost over but not until she delivers her Druidic blessings.
🍀
Outro song: Down By the Sally Gardens
Voices: Aoibheann McCann, Andi Ipaktchi, Fred McCloskey, Gavin Morgan, and Helen Gregg. Audio: Yassaman Sarhangi
RETREAT is an Irish/Irish-American comedy series that depicts artists and writers at an Irish arts residency in a dilapidated manor house. Deceitful corporate sponsorship arrives with a promise to spruce-up the residency in exchange for the artists' detailed audio diaries of their creative process. Six 20-minute episodes, written by the female, comedy duo: Aoibheann McCann and Andi Ipaktchi. RETREAT has a playful look at the commercialization of the arts, genealogy, Irish history, cloning, heritage, ecology, globalization, the life cycle of stoats & the 1%. Season 1 launched in September 2022. It is available for download on audio apps like Spotify, Apple Podcasts and others.
Wed, 31 Aug 2022 23:04:00 GMT
The artist-cousins get an early start and head off to the local fairy fort. BRIGIT moans about her sleepless night at UNA's B & B. They meet MALACHY on the way. SHANNON is smitten.
A helicopter arrival prompts MALACHY to run off. SHANNON deserts her cousin and follows MALACHY.
The helicopter is transporting SKYE JETJETSKI, the would-be heiress returns to her family's former estate.
BRIGIT is on the run from DAMIEN's unwanted attentions.
GUNTER begins his audio art installation in a secluded, old, hedge school under the bushes.
When a storm breaks BRIGIT seeks shelter and is beckoned by MARY to into the hedge, with the other residents... including DAMIEN.
The residents gather for dinnertime. SKYE JETJETSKI makes a grand entrance. But once again, OLIVOFF SMIRNOFF, (that's right, the famous, Russian, dissident artist) cancels.
The GHOSTS make themselves known. TERESA is convinced but AGNES is having none of it.
BARNEY announces the residents are now required to record daily audio logs of their creative practices in the new Diary Room, offered by Megacorp-- in exchange for renovations of the house and grounds. The residents don’t all agree to the terms.
SHANNON is impressed by SKYE and tries her best to get friendly.
BRIGIT reveals to DAMIEN the reason why she is single.
BRIGIT and AGNÉS agree to swap lodgings.BRIGIT will come to the big house and AGNES will go to UNA'S disgusting BnB.
The cousins, (BRIGIT and SHANNON), try out their artistic collaboration in the diary room-- but instead of working, they talk about the awards they will get for the work they can't ever seem to begin.
SHANNON prepares her award acceptance speech and thank you list.
SKYE is secretly listening in on the cousins. She commands MALACHY to pursue SHANNON to make her into an unwitting pawn for an underhanded MEGACORP takeover bid.
🍀
Outro song: Down By the Sally Gardens
Voices: Aoibheann McCann, Andi Ipaktchi, Fred McCloskey, Gavin Morgan, and Helen Gregg. Audio: Yassaman Sarhangi
RETREAT is an Irish/Irish-American comedy series that depicts artists and writers at an Irish arts residency in a dilapidated manor house. Deceitful corporate sponsorship arrives with a promise to spruce-up the residency in exchange for the artists' detailed audio diaries of their creative process. Six 20-minute episodes, written by the female, comedy duo: Aoibheann McCann and Andi Ipaktchi. RETREAT has a playful look at the commercialization of the arts, genealogy, Irish history, cloning, heritage, ecology, globalization, the life cycle of stoats & the 1%. Season 1 launched in September 2022. It is available for download on audio apps like Spotify, Apple Podcasts and others.
Wed, 31 Aug 2022 23:03:00 GMT
The cousins finally start on their collaboration at the mystical fairy fort, that Brigit calls ‘the original diary room’. It starts raining again. SHANNON is rescued by MALACHY, so she deserts BRIGIT.
BRIGIT takes shelter at Una's B & B. She finds the newly, chain-smoking AGNÉS, sculpting her latest masterpiece: The Madness of Ireland. It's a lopsided stack, fused with dog hair, and not unlike Ireland: broken into two. But where's Una's dog?
SKYE and MALACHY plot to take over the retreat. GUNTER picks up their voices on his hidden stoat cams. He learns of the plans to evict and send the artists to a workhouse dormitory, their artistry algorithmized, the local staff to be replaced so that the first batch of wealthy, art-collector tourists can come for the grand/opening exhibition and thrills. This may be the end of their creative haven. But... GUNTER has a hard time communicating the threat to the other bickering residents. If only OLIVOFF SMIRNOFF the famous, Russian dissident artist were around to help.
At dinner, SHANNON tries to impress SKYE and suggests a star-rating system for artists and unwittingly falls into SKYE's trap.
And what about the ghosts?... Still lurking.
🍀
Outro song: Down By the Sally Gardens
Voices: Aoibheann McCann, Andi Ipaktchi, Fred McCloskey, Gavin Morgan, and Helen Gregg. Audio: Yassaman Sarhangi
RETREAT is an Irish/Irish-American comedy series that depicts artists and writers at an Irish arts residency in a dilapidated manor house. Deceitful corporate sponsorship arrives with a promise to spruce-up the residency in exchange for the artists' detailed audio diaries of their creative process. Six 20-minute episodes, written by the female, comedy duo: Aoibheann McCann and Andi Ipaktchi. RETREAT has a playful look at the commercialization of the arts, genealogy, Irish history, cloning, heritage, ecology, globalization, the life cycle of stoats & the 1%. Season 1 launched in September 2022. It is available for download on audio apps like Spotify, Apple Podcasts and others.
Wed, 31 Aug 2022 23:02:00 GMT
The cousins start recording in the diary room, but fall-out when MALACHY turns up and SHANNON is more interested in him than their Druidic healing quilt collaboration.
MALACHY flirts to manipulate SHANNON to confess on record that she and BRIGIT have done nothing but gossip during their time at the rural Ireland arts residency--- and that none of the other artists here are working either. They are all in breach of contract.
BRIGIT starts a protest against the imminent destruction of the fairy-fort by climbing up a tree.
Meanwhile, the other artists still won't listen to GUNTER who actually knows what's going on.
Then SKYE moves all the residents out of the grand home and into Una's delipidated B & B so that her elaborate renovations of the residency can begin. She promises them an exhibition for the grand opening.
Meanwhile, SHANNON is devasted to learn from DNA tests that she doesn't have any IRISH heritage and so she and BRIGIT are not cousins after all.
🍀
Outro song: Down By the Sally Gardens
Voices: Aoibheann McCann, Andi Ipaktchi, Fred McCloskey, Gavin Morgan, and Helen Gregg. Audio: Yassaman Sarhangi
RETREAT is an Irish/Irish-American comedy series that depicts artists and writers at an Irish arts residency in a dilapidated manor house. Deceitful corporate sponsorship arrives with a promise to spruce-up the residency in exchange for the artists' detailed audio diaries of their creative process. Six 20-minute episodes, written by the female, comedy duo: Aoibheann McCann and Andi Ipaktchi. RETREAT has a playful look at the commercialization of the arts, genealogy, Irish history, cloning, heritage, ecology, globalization, the life cycle of stoats & the 1%. Season 1 launched in September 2022. It is available for download on audio apps like Spotify, Apple Podcasts and others.
E5 The Megacorp Artist Theme Park
Wed, 31 Aug 2022 23:01:00 GMT
After a fresh from the dumpster, freegan breakfast at UNA's BnB, the artists and staff march to the KATHLEEN O'MARA RESIDENTIAL CENTRE FOR THE ARTS to confront SKYE. But SKYE is one step ahead and has used SHANNON’s diary recording to revoke her grandmother's will and intends to turn their residency back into private ownership. Hers.
DAMIEN is exposed when FREDA, his ghostwriter and former roommate is discovered lurking about in a daze.
MALACHY reveals he was using SHANNON all along with Skye’s knowledge. SKYE won’t talk to SHANNON anymore and fires BARNEY, NORA, and TERESA. The gang retreats to UNA's leaving SHANNON behind. BRIGIT is still levitating up in a tree.
SHANNON understands and is remorseful. She takes off her fake nails and gives TAENG, (her Thai fabricant and positivity guru) a ring. She wants to learn how to sew.
The guy from the kitchen turns up with BRIGIT to the B & B and reveals his true identity as OLIVOFF SMIRNOFF, the famous, Russian dissident artist and he has a plan.
MARY calls SKYE to grovel. GUNTER joins in the groveling too. Together they persuade SKYE to let the artists return to the big house, take part in the exhibition to meet all the Megacorp big wigs and art collectors for their careers. They agree to sleep in the new dormitory. They have nowhere else to go. The plan seems to be working.
🍀
Outro song: Down By the Sally Gardens
Voices: Aoibheann McCann, Andi Ipaktchi, Fred McCloskey, Gavin Morgan, and Helen Gregg. Audio: Yassaman Sarhangi
RETREAT is an Irish/Irish-American comedy series that depicts artists and writers at an Irish arts residency in a dilapidated manor house. Deceitful corporate sponsorship arrives with a promise to spruce-up the residency in exchange for the artists' detailed audio diaries of their creative process. Six 20-minute episodes, written by the female, comedy duo: Aoibheann McCann and Andi Ipaktchi. RETREAT has a playful look at the commercialization of the arts, genealogy, Irish history, cloning, heritage, ecology, globalization, the life cycle of stoats & the 1%. Season 1 launched in September 2022. It is available for download on audio apps like Spotify, Apple Podcasts and others.
Wed, 31 Aug 2022 23:00:00 GMT
DAMIEN is in his element as the MC for the grand exhibition. He welcomes SKYE on stage who welcomes the MEGACORP big shots and eager art collectors.
GUNTER shows his stoat cam footage proving that MALACHY and SKYE plotted to steal the residency from the artists. They also reminisce about murdering Kathleen O'Mara's only son Mickey. The police arrive. SKYE fires MELANIE her loyal assistant. GUNTER calls in his loyal stoats.
TERESA reigns in the stoats after they invade the hall with a toot of her tin flute. NORA hands in an envelope of TERESA's DNA. TERESA is the granddaughter and heiress to Kathleen O’Mara's estate.
Meanwhile, SKYE and MALACHY are arrested. AGNES sells "The Madness of Ireland" sculpture with Una's decaying dog inside to a London hedge-fund investor for millions. SHANNON's lopsided healing quilt comes in handy for UNA. BRIGIT's poetry has been published and the cousins are cosmically retethered. Whoa.
OLIVOFF SMIRNOFF, the famous Russian dissident artist, does an interpretive dance in front of underground footage that proves MEGACORP is running an illegal cloning operation using DNA gathered from clients using their genealogy and ancestor website.
MEGACORP board members in the audience try to make a run for it but are stopped by the Knocknahay police. A marching clone parade comes onstage to close the spectacle.
The next morning... the artists sit down for a final meal. TERESA is now the lady of the house and NORA rings the gong. AGNÉS donates the 10 million she got for the sculpture to fund the retreat. DAMIEN pledges that his history book has been published and that FREDA, his ghost writer will get all the credit for her writing. BARNEY has quit his job to join MARY to produce a musical of Waiting for Godot. MARY is free from A.R.S.E.'s constrictions. SHANNON and BRIGIT have begun a blog and online shop for Druidic healing. They all join hands for BRIGIT's final blessing. The real ghosts appear revealing themselves as... TERESA 's parents singing Down By The Sally Gardens.
END OF SEASON 1.
🍀
Outro song: Down By the Sally Gardens
Voices: Aoibheann McCann, Andi Ipaktchi, Fred McCloskey, Gavin Morgan, and Helen Gregg. Audio: Yassaman Sarhangi
RETREAT is an Irish/Irish-American comedy series that depicts artists and writers at an Irish arts residency in a dilapidated manor house. Deceitful corporate sponsorship arrives with a promise to spruce-up the residency in exchange for the artists' detailed audio diaries of their creative process. Six 20-minute episodes, written by the female, comedy duo: Aoibheann McCann and Andi Ipaktchi. RETREAT has a playful look at the commercialization of the arts, genealogy, Irish history, cloning, heritage, ecology, globalization, the life cycle of stoats & the 1%. Season 1 launched in September 2022. It is available for download on audio apps like Spotify, Apple Podcasts and others.