Audio Fiction Dot C O Dot U K
A library of fiction podcasts, including audio dramas, books and RPG actual plays.

The Supernatural Protection Company



Full cast Comedy Anthology Audio Drama


Synopsis:

Need paranormal insurance? Call us!

The Supernatural Protection Company is dedicated to providing quality customer service to help you with any and all paranormal issues for which you may be covered. From haunted cars to cryptid caused injury, we're here for you!

The Supernatural Protection Company is an episodic comedy podcast about a world where paranormal occurrences are so commonplace you can just buy insurance for them! In a mix of fully scripted and improvised episodes, we learn about the quirks of this alternate reality through recorded phone calls with an SPC customer service agent, and all the nonsense that entails. New episodes monthly (usually)!

Created and produced by Saph the Something (xae/xem), a queer and disabled non-binary multimedia artist located in the Midwestern US.


Format: Audio Drama

Continuity: Anthology

Voices: Cast

Genres: Comedy, Occult and Supernatural, Science fiction

Framing device: Communications

Maturity: All audience

Creator demographics: / Disabled / LGBTQ+ / Neurodivergent

Country of origin: United States

Transcript details: https://www.saphthesomething.com/transcripts

Completion status: NA

Not tagged: [Character demographics] [Content warnings]

Click here to update these tags.



Episodes:

Watermelon Flag - Wireland NOW

Mon, 06 Nov 2023 22:00:14 +0000

Hi folks. What you are about to hear is... different from what you may expect from me. I hope that you approach it with an open mind. Fiction is an important tool in a world that is often cruel and without empathy for the average struggles we face, and it is an escape that can help us get through the day. But it is not an excuse disengage with the harshness of reality and willfully ignore what is going on just because we are not in the middle of it.

There is currently a genocide happening in Palestine, a war waged under false pretenses and with manufactured consent. It is important that we do not look away and ignore that our government is enabling this conflict. Today marked day 31 of that conflict. Today marked day 31 of that conflict being on my mind from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I am never not thinking about it, it is an impossibility. As of now, over 10,000 Palestinians are dead, nearly half of those children. And if that is hard for you to hear, I am begging you to engage with what is happening right now, because looking away will only result in more death and destruction. Israel has already started to invade Lebanon under the cover of this, continuing to colonize land that doesn't belong to it with the intention of killing anyone who gets in the way of their Zionist ethno-state goal. This is not in line with Jewish teachings or ethos, it is a slap in the face to them.

I had plans to put out my own longer statement, an essay with links and facts and sources and just a general attempt to try and explain the conflict to those who may be unwilling to dig themselves but are willing to listen. Life gets in the way though, mine more often than I am capable of dealing with sometimes. So, while the words that come after this are not directly from me, they are ones that I stand by.

The following was created by my good friend Joseph Rutledge of Wireland Ranch and KILL FM, and Lily Saviet. He and I are of the same mind on this issue and both of us feel strongly that it is our moral duty to do what we can to make an impact and try to stop the terror being inflicted on the occupied Palestinian people. Our country is part of this, and if you aren't from the United States your country is probably part of it, too.

There is a document with resources in the shownotes, something I will be doing my best to keep updated and accurate. If you want to know more about the history of this occupation and of Palestine at your own pace it's a good place to start. I recognize that Joseph's style of delivery isn't for everyone, and if it isn't for you that is okay because what is most important is that you start paying attention to what is happening, and not just the propaganda being churned out to try and defend it. Don't look away, it is important that we do not ignore what is going on in favor of our own comfort. Please.


RESOURCES: 

https://www.thepalestineacademy.com/

For a comprehensive list of resources and coverage please visit:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/102weXwzGRDwAfnSQ8ue1gAco6CXaOCPo1e1L4XgQvYo/edit


Written by Joseph Rutledge and Lily Saviet

Sound design and production: Joseph Rutledge

Balfour Declaration read by: Bradly Findly


Additional clips provided and written by:

Saph the Something

Tatiana Gefter (reading a monologue from Andor)

Rebecca Hanson

Bradly and Brittany Findly

Randy Lovings

Cal O'Neill

Pelle Frid

Scott Graves

Joshua Burgess

Juno Westbrook


Ending Song

Party in the Promised Land by @angletonsorchids

Direct MP3 link


Intake #04329 - Bleeding Hearts Therapy

Sun, 17 Sep 2023 14:00:00 +0000

Dr. Marcus Williams calls to register his therapy practice for vampires as an in-network provider.

Episode Transcript

This episode was performed by Adam Robinson and Saph the Something Written and produced by Saph the Something

You can hear more of Adam's work as a charming immortal in The Moon Crown, a weird-fiction cosmic horror show focused on Filipino mythology and some of the most interesting sound design around.


TUMBLR: @TheSPCpodcast

MASTODON: @TheSPCpodcast@podvibes.co

BLUESKY: @TheSPCpodcast

PATREON: /saphthesomething

KOFI: /saphthesomething

The SPC Website

Episode art by Ash Leddy and Saph the Something

Credits music is "music elevator" by Jay_You with additional sound effects by anthonyramirez, JayeWilde, ondrosik, omar-alvarado, kyles, schooledzone, nightflame, bbrocer, petebarry, and talithamaree on freesound.org. Call center background noise via Soothing Sounds to Concentrate on YouTube.

Direct MP3 link

Transcript


C̵̨̠͊͋̾̈́̓͆̍̿͠ḷ̵̛͖͕̭̅ą̶̻̳̝̟̠͉̈́́̃͐́́̍͝͝i̶͔̦͖̤͈̻͛̀̈͑̿́̒̚m̵̧̺̱̮͖̜̩͙̣̼͕̎̒̎͑͝ ̷̧͓͖̭̆̓͐#̷̰͉͖͍̥̌̀͌͛͠͠6̵̥͍͎̈̍̅̀̌̾͋̇͠6̴̯̹̭͉̭̥͛̓͝6̸̘̣͍̱́ ̶̧̜̦̟̰̻͈̭̈́͑̆̒

Sat, 01 Apr 2023 14:00:00 +0000


A̴̧̢̬̬̪̣̲̗͉͍̿͂͜p̵͉̺̭̱̱̥̑̆͛͌͂̊̏͝r̸̺͔̭͂͗̍ĭ̷̜͙̫̫̮͕͈͔̫͗̃͊̎͊̉l̵̢̳̬̙̺̻̠̈́̄̍̿̉̽̍͠͝ ̴̢̡͖͍̟̮͈̀́̇̔̐͘͜ͅḞ̷̟͇̩͉́̓̓͜͜o̷̥̳̅́͊̋͛̄̾̈́o̵̦͐͆͋̒͐̀͜l̶͙̙͐ͅ'̴̦̟̘͔̮̺̤̰̆͂̃̊̄̈́͗͋́͊͘s̵̛̛̤̘̉͋̐̋̃̀̿̕ ̶̡̛̼̯͖͐̋̏y̸̛̩͎̞̺̣̻̲̥̘̜͛͋̑͜o̸̦͎̦͌̿̉̋͌̓͝ű̸̫ ̵̢̛̺̲̮͔̟̞͋̏̍̆̆̑͒ṅ̶͕͎̩̲̮͔̘̻̠̹̗̔̾ë̵̢̤̺͙̥̺̼̘̹͚̠́̔̇r̷͕̐d̸̼̬͖̪̖̒̄͛̅̽̓͠s̴̢̧̢̙͓̭͖͓̫̫̱͌̎̒̓.̵̱͙͈̯̔̊̆̍




I do think it's worth pointing out how much funnier this episode is with the cover art juxtaposition of AI-generated Jensen Ackles apparently being the agent making these sounds. It's just... so wonderfully cursed.







Episode Transcript


This episode was "performed" by Saph the Something


The caller was guest sound designed by Derrick "Hornet" Valen, sound wizard for paranormal horror mystery show October's Children


October's Children:

October's Children Twitter: @OctChildrenPod

PATREON: /octoberschildrenpodcast

October's Children Captivate Page


The Supernatural Protection Company:

TUMBLR: @TheSPCpodcast

MASTODON: @TheSPCpodcast@podvibes.co

BLUESKY: @TheSPCpodcast

PATREON: /saphthesomething

KOFI: /saphthesomething

The SPC Website

The April Fool's cover art was created by Derrick "Hornet" Valen

Credits music is "music elevator" by Jay_You with additional sound effects by anthonyramirez, diarchangeli, JayeWilde, dkcu, kyles, and schooledzone on freesound.org. Call center background noise via Soothing Sounds to Concentrate on YouTube.

Direct MP3 link

Transcript


Syntax Crossover - The Brinkers

Fri, 30 Dec 2022 15:00:00 +0000

Employees from VINCULA call about a broken recording device, and definitely don't let slip any confidential or proprietary company intel.

Episode Transcript


This episode was created in collaboration with Syntax, a sci-fi horror audio drama that I personally love and recommend.

Featuring the vocal talents of:

Ty Von as Silas

Beth Phung as Cassius

Morgie Bee as Elizabeth

Jules Christine as Alyx

Kaila Crockett as Miss Vaux

and Saph the Something as the Agent


Written by Ty Von and Saph the Something

Produced by Stella "Rowan" Odom and Saph the Something

Syntax cover art was created by Anthony Crockett and The Supernatural Protection Company cover art was created by Ash Leddy


Syntax:

TWITTER: @TwinStrangersP

TUMBLR: @TwinStrangersP

PATREON: /twinstrangersproductions

KOFI: /twinstrangersproductions

Syntax Website

ACAST Page

The Supernatural Protection Company:

TUMBLR: @TheSPCpodcast

MASTODON: @TheSPCpodcast@podvibes.co

BLUESKY: @TheSPCpodcast

PATREON: /saphthesomething

KOFI: /saphthesomething

The SPC Website

YouTube with video versions: The Supernatural Protection Company

Credits music is "music elevator" by Jay_You with additional sound effects by omar-alvarado, ondrosik, stijn, duckduckpony, JayeWilde, irolan, dkcu, kyles, and skooledzone on freesound.org. Call center background noise via Soothing Sounds to Concentrate on YouTube.

Direct MP3 link

Transcript


Claim #424116 - Alien Encounter

Sun, 27 Nov 2022 15:00:00 +0000

John Kirby calls after an injury sustained as a result of an extraterrestrial abduction.

CW: thinly veiled allusion to a somewhat sexual alien encounter, allusion to poverty


Episode Transcript 

Improvised by David “Mr. Iron” Turvaville and Saph the Something, based on a concept from Mr. Iron. 


TUMBLR: @TheSPCpodcast 

MASTODON: @TheSPCpodcast@podvibes.co 

BLUESKY: @TheSPCpodcast

PATREON: /saphthesomething

KOFI: /saphthesomething

The SPC Website

YouTube with video versions: The Supernatural Protection Company

Artwork by Ash Leddy

Credits music is "music elevator" by Jay_You with additional sound effects by AnthonyRamirezJayeWilde, stijn, kyles, and ondrosik on freesound.org. Call center background noise via Soothing Sounds to Concentrate on YouTube.

Direct MP3 link

Transcript


K I L L FM

Tue, 01 Nov 2022 00:00:00 +0000

EXPLICIT CONTENT WARNING

Don't forget to buckle your seatbelt, this road isn't the safest...

K I L L FM is the brainchild of a bunch of audio drama creators who wanted to make something extra special and spooky.

Transcripts and segment credits, descriptions, and links are available on: kill-fm.com

This special broadcast features (in order):

Wireland Ranch, The Moon Crown, Echoes (In) Between, The Supernatural Protection Company, The Liminal Lands, Desert Skies, The Madness of Chartrulean, and The Book of Constellations

with additional support from our other podcast friends: Untrue Stories, Where the Leaves Fall Purple, The Goblet Wire, The Great Chameleon War, Neon Shadows, Blazed All Our Lives, Dragon Shanty, Shadow and Smoke, Station Blue, Finding Pattersby, October's Children, and The Aberrant Report


Theme song and finished editing by Joseph Rutledge of Wireland Ranch

Cover art by Survival of the Artist


The Supernatural Protection Company:

TUMBLR: @TheSPCpodcast

MASTODON: @TheSPCpodcast@podvibes.co

BLUESKY: @TheSPCpodcast

PATREON: /saphthesomething

KOFI: /saphthesomething

The SPC Website

Direct MP3 link


The Hallow's Eve Emergency Hotline

Sat, 29 Oct 2022 14:00:00 +0000

This Halloween, if you find yourself facing a potentially spooky problem with no clue what to do, call us! Because we know it can be scary when you aren't completely sure whether the trick-or-treaters are actual ghosts and goblins. The Hallow's Eve Emergency Hotline is a special service we provide to all, whether you have an active policy or not, so don't hesitate to give us a ring!

Episode Transcript

Featuring the vocal talents of:

David "Mr. Iron" Turvaville (Callers 1, 5, and 8)

Kimberley Billinton, creator of mystery audiodrama Where the Leaves Fall Purple (Caller 2)

Maddie Girouard (Caller 4)

Clay Clark (Callers 6, 7, and 9) (can be found in the Liminal Lands discord)

and as always Saph the Something as the Agent


The Supernatural Protection Company:

TUMBLR: @TheSPCpodcast

MASTODON: @TheSPCpodcast@podvibes.co

BLUESKY: @TheSPCpodcast

PATREON: /saphthesomething

KOFI: /saphthesomething

The SPC Website

YouTube with video versions: The Supernatural Protection Company

Artwork by Ash Leddy

Credits music is "music elevator" by Jay_You with additional sound effects by JayeWilde, kyles, infobandit, kolezan, yellowtree, and ondrosik on freesound.org. Call center background noise via Soothing Sounds to Concentrate on YouTube.

Direct MP3 link

Transcript


Nowhere, On Air Pre-Canon Crossover - The Braedon Community Policy

Fri, 30 Sep 2022 14:00:00 +0000

A new member of the Braedon, Alberta community calls to be added to the town's policy.

This episode is a pre-canon crossover with our friend Jess Syratt, creator of the wonderful supernatural podcast Nowhere, On Air.

Episode Transcript

Performed by Jess Syratt and Saph the Something. Written and produced by Saph the Something.


Nowhere, On Air:

TWITTER: @NowhereOnAir and @jesssyratt

KOFI: /nowhereonair

Nowhere, On Air Website


The Supernatural Protection Company:

TUMBLR: @TheSPCpodcast

MASTODON: @TheSPCpodcast@podvibes.co

BLUESKY: @TheSPCpodcast

PATREON: /saphthesomething

KOFI: /saphthesomething

The SPC Website

YouTube with video versions: The Supernatural Protection Company

Artwork by Ash Leddy

Credits music is "music elevator" by Jay_You with additional sound effects by AnthonyRamirezJayeWilde, jonastisell, dkcu, raining-on-saturn, aesterial-arts, synthyspencer, and ondrosik on freesound.org. Call center background noise via Soothing Sounds to Concentrate on YouTube.

Direct MP3 link

Transcript


Claim #84931 - Package Protection

Sun, 28 Aug 2022 14:00:00 +0000

Mr. Porter has complaints about the online claim filer, a cryptid, and probably most people who have the displeasure of speaking with him.


Episode Transcript

Performed by Kyle Sowa and Saph the Something. Written and produced by Saph the Something, based on a concept by Kyle Sowa.


TUMBLR: @TheSPCpodcast

MASTODON: @TheSPCpodcast@podvibes.co

BLUESKY: @TheSPCpodcast

PATREON: /saphthesomething

KOFI: /saphthesomething

The SPC Website

YouTube with video versions: The Supernatural Protection Company

Artwork by Ash Leddy

Credits music is "music elevator" by Jay_You with additional sound effects by AnthonyRamirezJayeWilde, and ondrosik on freesound.org. Call center background noise via Soothing Sounds to Concentrate on YouTube.

Direct MP3 link

Transcript


Claim #322856 - Melted Car

Sun, 24 Jul 2022 14:00:00 +0000

Call from Ms. Diana Sherwood regarding the melted remains of her vehicle in her apartment parking lot.


Episode Transcript

Improvised by friend of the show Firefly and Saph the Something, based on a concept by Firefly.


TUMBLR: @TheSPCpodcast

MASTODON: @TheSPCpodcast@podvibes.co

BLUESKY: @TheSPCpodcast

PATREON: /saphthesomething

KOFI: /saphthesomething

The SPC Website

YouTube with video versions: The Supernatural Protection Company

Artwork by Ash Leddy

Credits music is "music elevator" by Jay_You with additional sound effects by AnthonyRamirez, JayeWilde, ondrosik, talithamaree_2L, and purplewalrus23 on freesound.org. Call center background noise via Soothing Sounds to Concentrate on YouTube.

Direct MP3 link

Transcript


Claim #02953 - Sentient Tree

Fri, 24 Jun 2022 13:20:00 +0000

Internal recording of agent follow-up call with Mr. Ken Hartford, concerning an incident that occurred when inspecting his newly purchased home.


Episode Transcript

Improvised by Grant Ravary and Saph the Something based on a concept by Grant Ravary. Produced by Saph the Something.


TUMBLR: @TheSPCpodcast

MASTODON: @TheSPCpodcast@podvibes.co

BLUESKY: @TheSPCpodcast

PATREON: /saphthesomething

KOFI: /saphthesomething

The SPC Website

YouTube with video versions: The Supernatural Protection Company

Artwork by Ash Leddy

Credits music is "music elevator" by Jay_You and additional sound effects are by AnthonyRamirez, JayeWilde, and ondrosik from freesound.org. Call center background noise via Soothing Sounds to Concentrate on YouTube

Direct MP3 link

Transcript


The SPC Commercial

Thu, 23 Jun 2022 22:46:33 +0000

Life is full enough of challenges without the paranormal getting involved. So when your home is flooded with spectral goo or your pet is speaking in tongues, the last thing you should be worried about is whether the local witch doctor can provide the right service at an affordable price! 

Here at The Supernatural Protection Company, it is our mission to make your life easier, no matter what kind of other natural surprise comes your way. As the world's largest provider of paranormal insurance, our centuries of experience in all things supernatural will bring you peace of mind.

Our highly trained support staff are prepared and ready to assist you. Whether you need help filing a claim, getting connected with a specialist, or even a preliminary diagnostic, our agents are the best in the industry. For the last 13 years we have been rated in the top 5 companies for exceptional customer service in the 3rd dimension of the physical plane.

Our top priority is helping you get back to normal, or as close as you can when your new neighbor keeps howling at the full moon.

So remember, the next time you're in need, call the SPC!


*Mumbled and muffled* I swear, whatever doing this was punishment for I am NOT doing again, I hate recording this corpo sh-


The Supernatural Protection Company is a comedy fiction podcast set in a universe where the paranormal is so commonplace people just buy insurance for it.

It's created and produced by Saph the Something and features a new guest every month.

You can find us via our host RedCircle Podcast, or wherever else you listen to podcasts. And follow us on Twitter @TheSPCPodcast for more fun and to ask us for advice tackling your own ghastly troubles.

Thanks for calling!


TUMBLR: @TheSPCpodcast

MASTODON: @TheSPCpodcast@podvibes.co

BLUESKY: @TheSPCpodcast

PATREON: /saphthesomething

KOFI: /saphthesomething

The SPC Website

YouTube with video versions of episodes: The Supernatural Protection Company

Artwork by Ash Leddy

The terribly perfect corporate music is "Motivational Day" by AudioCoffee via Pixabay. Credits music is "music elevator" by Jay_You with additional sound effects by dkcu and ondrosik on freesound.org.

Direct MP3 link


On Hold - Pre-Launch Trailer

Sat, 28 May 2022 21:13:05 +0000

AUTOMATED VOICE: Hello, and thank you for calling The Supernatural Protection Company, the world’s largest provider of paranormal insurance. Please stay on the line until one of our quality customer service agents is available to assist you.

From haunted houses to hexed health, we here at The SPC believe you deserve quality assistance no matter the issue. We know you have options when it comes to your supernatural protection, and we thank you for choosing us!

Our next available representative will be with you as soon as they are available.

Please continue to hold, your call is important to us!


SAPH: The Supernatural Protection Company is a scripted and improvised comedy fiction podcast set in a universe where the paranormal is so commonplace people just buy insurance for it. It's created and produced by Saph the Something and features a new guest every episode!

You can find us wherever you listen to podcasts, or more directly on social media @TheSPCPodcast.


TUMBLR: @TheSPCpodcast

MASTODON: @TheSPCpodcast@podvibes.co

BLUESKY: @TheSPCpodcast

PATREON: /saphthesomething

KOFI: /saphthesomething

The SPC Website

Artwork by Ash Leddy

Hold music is "music elevator" by Jay_You on freesound.org

Direct MP3 link