We Will NOT Play DnD
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Creator: Dawn Somewhere
Comedy Audio Drama
Synopsis:
Four friends struggle to get through their weekly roleplaying campaigns together.
Format: Audio Drama
Continuity:
Voices:
Genres: Comedy
Framing device:
Maturity:
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Character demographics:
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Transcript details:
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Episodes:
Tue, 12 Jan 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Four friends play an exciting, fast-paced roleplaying game set in a far flung future you'd have a better understanding of if you'd read the handouts I gave everyone.
Thu, 21 Jan 2021 01:15:00 GMT
A murder perp is caught and her house is in need of investigating, but lo and behold there was no murder, and there is no spaghetti in the house to justify all these carpet stains.
Thu, 28 Jan 2021 01:15:00 GMT
When the trail goes cold, it's time to hit the streets and ask some questions, but not before buying hotdogs, marshmallows, and camping supplies.
Thu, 04 Feb 2021 01:15:00 GMT
By completely sheer dumb luck, the universe throws our heroes a break and puts a suspect directly in their path. The man on the motorcycle returns, then tries to get away.
Thu, 11 Feb 2021 01:15:00 GMT
The team decides to go after one of the world's richest men. They don't have evidence, they don't have police training, and they don't have jurisdiction, but they have a hunch.
Fri, 19 Feb 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Bart's not a bad dude, honest! At least he doesn't mean badly, and to show it, he uses his crazy wealth to get the team back and track, and headed in the direction they were going before they tried to arrest him.
Thu, 25 Feb 2021 01:15:00 GMT
It's finally time to get some real answers about this nano-tentacle nonsense! It'll just take a few forms, an arbitration agreement, and a liability waiver.
Thu, 04 Mar 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Playing a fully ad-libbed game, our heroes are common, salt-of the earth miners of a magic metal. The pay is poor and the luck is worse.
Thu, 11 Mar 2021 01:15:00 GMT
How might one get a human body from downtown to the woods with nothing but three friends and a bold attitude? There are many ways and some are worse than others.
Thu, 18 Mar 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Skipping town requires supplies, but getting supplies requires money, friends who have things, or a certain amount of wit. When you have none of that you make do with what you can get.
Fri, 26 Mar 2021 01:15:00 GMT
If you can't get the supplies to stow away on your own, a passenger ship probably wouldn't notice a few extra strangers! Or a few extra crew members, for that matter, so long as you can get the look right.
Fri, 02 Apr 2021 01:15:00 GMT
The gang is found, and efforts to divert suspicion are only successful for so long. When the whole ship is alerted to the possibility of stowaways, it all comes down to fate, and then fate completely turns her back on our heroes.
Thu, 08 Apr 2021 01:15:00 GMT
With death almost certain, the universe takes an unlikely twist in the form of savior mermaids who worship a volcano. But who can truly know the whims of the volcano but those who dwell upon the land?
Fri, 16 Apr 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Adventure on the high seas! Playing as pirates in Madagascar, our heroes do all they can to make ends meet in a dwindling, hopeless crew. Misfortune is at the helm.
Fri, 23 Apr 2021 01:15:00 GMT
One of the crew has been slain! But by what? Or who? Teeth marks would indicate some sort of creature, but the lack of footprints or other useful evidence leans towards the supernatural.
Fri, 30 Apr 2021 01:15:00 GMT
After a second killing, the reality becomes clear. The murders are related to a curse. But why? And how? These are things that either nobody is saying or that nobody knows.
Fri, 07 May 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Though they have a man who might know more about their dangerous situation, he's not exactly an ally. The only way to find out who will be killed next is to experiment and try to force a murder on someone, or something, less important to our heroes than themselves.
Fri, 14 May 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Captain Bell has enough shenanigans and incompetence and locks up our heroes, who then get a chance to really hash things out with Alfonso and learn why he in particular is never killed.
Fri, 21 May 2021 01:15:00 GMT
The crew is growing antsy and looking for explanations, and above that scapegoats. The time has come to draw some lines in the sand, figure out who's trustworthy, and make a few final leaps of faith.
Thu, 27 May 2021 01:15:00 GMT
It's the party's first year at Dorptoad's School for Gods Among Mortals! And what a wonderful, magical, exciting time it is. There's chocolate creatures, hidden dangers, evil bad students who wear the wrong team colors, and of course, a grading system.
Fri, 4 Jun 2021 01:15:00 GMT
There are not many teachers at Dorptoads, and they get to make their own lesson plans, to a certain extent. As a result, classes tend to be a bit non-conventional and difficult to predict. Tumbledry in particular may pull anything out of his hat.
Fri, 11 Jun 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Where Tumbledry's education can be madcap and unpredictable, there is a counter-balance at Dorptoads, and Professor Fickletick is patient and methodical enough to weigh down everything. Skippybottom, meanwhile, has no sense of humor.
Fri, 18 Jun 2021 01:15:00 GMT
The Trial of Office Hours is the gateway between the students and their teachers, and ensures that only those students who don't need basic help can receive that type of help. Each segment of the trial is only sometimes deadly.
Fri, 25 Jun 2021 01:15:00 GMT
A fight! Paperwork? Trees. The trials can be anything, but even greater than the struggle of seeing a professor is the effort to get them to do what you wanted once you get there. Robert's life is on the line and time is running out.
Fri, 2 Jul 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Paul and Elvis are a pair of sewer-dwelling vampires who moonlight as vtubers. Lawry is a high-powered manager at a private equity firm. Their lives tend to be situated above and below the mortals, which means all their big problems wind up weird and supernatual, if not still mundane.
Fri, 9 Jul 2021 01:15:00 GMT
It's time to do what a vampire with mine powers does best and infiltritate somebody's place of business! And while invisibility is nice, the whole gimmick is quite all or nothing when people can either see you or they don't.
Fri, 16 Jul 2021 01:15:00 GMT
The group goes to see Lawr's business contact, and he's willing to help in exchange for a small favor.
Fri, 23 Jul 2021 01:15:00 GMT
In the world of vampires, the big fish eat the little fish, and you can't throw a stone among important people without hitting someone who has a slew of absurd, supernatural drawbacks that prevents them from working regular hours.
Fri, 30 Jul 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Making the right friends is an important part of moving up in the vampire world. It turns out they all gravitate towards evil and scheming, which is kind of a terrible influence, but at least they help support your own evil schemes.
Fri, 6 Aug 2021 01:15:00 GMT
The thing about evil secret conspiracies is that they always goes straight to the top! Rather aburptly, in this case.
Fri, 13 Aug 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Elvis runs this night's game, and it's a heist. A magic heist, wherein the man planning the whole thing dies before getting a useful word out, and the fools who agreed to join him have to put the plot together by the seat of their pants!
Mon, 23 Aug 2021 01:15:00 GMT
One of the simplest disguises is to behave like a high class individual. Everyone knows how to play the part! Just dress nice and act important, and the people around you usually handle the rest.
Mon, 27 Aug 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Deep within the depths of the Bonesmell ceremony chambers lurk magic mysteries centered around petty evil and doing wrong. Whether deliberate traps or merely punishments for the evil wizard's immediate family is unclear, but it's all pretty dangerous, anyway.
Mon, 03 Sep 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Not exactly a "trap" dungeon, the Bonesmell caves are still, all the same, a place where people are trapped and tormented. Some of those victims are more dangerous than others, and some are just trying to sell you something.
Mon, 10 Sep 2021 01:15:00 GMT
At last, the bones are found! But stealing them is an issue that was never dicussed. How exactly does one hold and run off with an artifact of pure, evil magic?
Escape the Flavor Zone, Part 1
Fri, 24 Sep 2021 01:15:00 GMT
There's good food, and bad food, good chefs and bad chefs. Sometimes a very bad, bad chef makes good food and puts it to the worst possible uses. This is the story of those chefs, their incarceration, and the mission to get back on the streets to sell the deadly street tacos they were born to make!
Escape the Flavor Zone, Part 2
Fri, 1 Oct 2021 01:15:00 GMT
The group goes to meet King Crouton to carry out the escape plans, but as these things often do, everything goes awry. The party is stabbed in the back and betrayed on several fronts, and must rely on a mix of wit and physical ability to survive.
Escape the Flavor Zone, Part 3
Fri, 15 Oct 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Striking out on their own, it seems Crouton has thrown a few obstacles in the way of Paul's plans, and the dreaded Pimienta Fantasma is as serious as death in spite of his name.
Escape the Flavor Zone, Part 4
Fri, 22 Oct 2021 01:15:00 GMT
If it's not one horrible world, it's another. The group manages to get back to their own bodies, but are faces with the bizarre and eccentric whims of Lafferty Tafferty.
Escape the Flavor Zone, Part 5
Sun, 31 Oct 2021 01:15:00 GMT
The team stumbles across Spalding by pure chance, and has the opportunity to demand an explanation for why he gave up on the escape. Afterward, it's time to confront Lafferty and put an end to the silliness of his candy kingdom.
Escape the Flavor Zone, Part 6
Fri, 12 Nov 2021 01:15:00 GMT
At nearly the final step of the journey, the party would be required to face the formidable Snack Attack Mack in order to rescue Paul's remaining line chefs, but Paul decides on a less direct route.
Escape the Flavor Zone, Part 7
Fri, 3 Dec 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Now with no other choice, the party must confront Mack, but the group has a scheme to set the destruction of the Flavor Zone in motion while Mack is distracted.
Escape the Flavor Zone, Part 8
Sun, 12 Dec 2021 01:15:00 GMT
With Mack hot on their heels, the party manages to leave the Flavor Zone, but now they have the final hurdle of Guy Inferno in front of them.
Fri, 24 Dec 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Elvis asks the guys if they'd be willing to sit in with a new GM, but he's not totally forthcoming about the level of difficult history in the ongoing game. It's going to be a bumpy ride.
Fri, 31 Dec 2021 01:15:00 GMT
Trapped in ridiculous debt, the party has to figure out some way out of Pinball City. Unfortunately, there's a certain level of meta roadblock making the endeavor completely impossible.
Fri, 14 Jan 2022 01:15:00 GMT
Smelling Tony's offer as a trap, Elvis turns it down with force, and the party has no choice but to find some other means of living in the extravagant Pinball City. There aren't many practical options.
Sat, 29 Jan 2022 01:15:00 GMT
The team gets a luck break when they find, essentially, a dumpster full of magic! It's the kind of discovery only a very select group of people with Elvis's specific knowledge would know the value of, and it turns the tables on the city.
Sun, 6 Feb 2022 01:15:00 GMT
With a body on their hands and the town guard reviving the dead to question them, the team needs to take a few extra steps to cover their tracks, and with Lawry holding the wheel, it gets a little dark, testing everyone's patience.
Sat, 19 Feb 2022 01:15:00 GMT
Literally down in the dumps, it feels like there's nowhere else to go, but then Elvis learns a small detail that compels the group to go even lower.
Sat, 26 Feb 2022 01:15:00 GMT
Paul decides to run a game with a premise that's a lot more technically challenging than the group's usual smash and grab adventures. It requires motives, character history with NPCs, and pants are banned due to the economic conditions of the sci fi dystopia in which it's set.
Fri, 11 Mar 2022 01:15:00 GMT
The prospects of mining enough minerals to satisfy the Singer's tithe looks grim, and Mayson immediately gives up on the plan after hearing it. The trick is, opposing the whole thing without being the center of attention.
Fri, 18 Mar 2022 01:15:00 GMT
Mayson decides to turn to spy stuff to coordinate a dissent campaign with Padre Rockero and use his resistance to voice his own, but there's a bit of a hitch in that Lawry and Elvis have to cooperate with the plan.
Sat, 26 Mar 2022 01:15:00 GMT
Pieces are falling into place grudually. Mayson strikes a deal with Padre and feels out the opinions of his lady friends, while Lawry and Elvis deal with their own personal issues.
Sat, 15 Apr 2022 01:15:00 GMT
Mayson begins to take steps to alter the trajectory of Glam Rock's fate, but Brock isn't one to let go of an idea. Elvis and Lawry continue to grapple with their own personal issues, and Padre has a plan of his own.
Sat, 30 Apr 2022 01:15:00 GMT
Glam Rock enters a dangerous power struggle three ways between the colony's bands. The system is based largely around the opinions of the band leaders, and with all three facing off, conflict becomes a certainty.
Sat, 21 May 2022 01:15:00 GMT
The band now divorced, Lawry and Elvis have to strike out on their own, or make new friends. Unfortunately, new friends can sometimes take a little big of adjusting, especially when they've got bigger things on their minds than the immediate social pecking order.
Mon, 30 May 2022 01:15:00 GMT
Mayson struggles to figure out his strategy now that he's floundering politically. He's isolated, but not exactly alone, and the nice thing about politics is that the public memory is short, so you can sometimes change tact before the critical moment.
Fri, 10 Jun 2022 01:15:00 GMT
With encouragement from Sasha, Mayson decides to hold a colony vote to instruct him on how to cast his own vote as band leader. It's all technically on the up and up, but not exactly how Padre envisioned things going.
Sun, 19 Jun 2022 01:15:00 GMT
In this week's game, the players are very stupid toys with one, overriding purpose: to bring happiness to the child that owns them. The larger problem is that they barely understand the context of their world or what causes joy.
Fri, 1 Jul 2022 01:15:00 GMT
The group sets out in the night to find their lost friend, Kevin, but there are many hazards around the house. The cat, mom, and of course Eric's health as a growing boy. All important considerations.
Sun, 17 Jul 2022 01:15:00 GMT
Kevin has been rescued, and little Eric has been left home alone to enjoy his new toy-based friend, but then disaster strikes - an intruder breaks into the house! And it's up to all the toys to save the day.
Fri, 29 Jul 2022 01:15:00 GMT
One rule of saving the day is that you wouldn't have an adventure if someone else would save it for you. If that were the case, the story wouldn't be from your perspective! It'd be told by the guy that saved the day!
Fri, 05 Aug 2022 01:15:00 GMT
The burglar attempts to resort to his own trap, if not to catch our heroes in the act, then to at least confirm they're creatures in the house and not the house itself. Of course, what one does can sometimes lead to the spread of bad ideas.
Sat, 13 Aug 2022 01:15:00 GMT
The Krampus comes to collect the wicked and punish them for their misdeeds, but this mythical creature has been at it for a while, and his work has gotten sloppy. But his wife wants him to take the kid to work for a day, and all humans look the same, so a hapless butler is kidnapped and subjected to a trial of morality!
Fri, 19 Aug 2022 01:15:00 GMT
The Krampus's son is all too excited to subject Paul to a test of his character. However, it turns out having Hitler on your team is incredibly distracting if you're the type to get sucked into an argument about Hitler, with Hitler.
Mon, 29 Aug 2022 01:15:00 GMT
Facing another moral trial, Paul is forced to use Mr. Sprinklewinker's business assets to meet the terms of the test, but quickly finds he can't breach any of the security to do that. Naturally, he must turn to grief, anger, bargaining, and pizza.
Mon, 5 Sep 2022 01:15:00 GMT
The Krampus Jr decides to mash together the spirit of "tag" and "Candy Land" into a real life, cross-country chase. Unfortunately, Paul isn't much of a traveler and he's completely caught up in an argument with the Krampus.
Fri, 23 Sep 2022 01:15:00 GMT
The Krampus has his own game to play, but this one involves a certain level more realism, while also abstracting everything into carved stone figurines. Paul is forced to act as chieftan to a small island in Krampus, while shielding himself from Hitler's pointy elbows.
Fri, 30 Sep 2022 01:15:00 GMT
With Hitler taking over the island and Paul not the most controlling type, the fate of everyone there is clearly not sunny. Dahmer is naturally not the first person to turn to, so Paul is forced to improvise and play off of whatever the islanders choose to do.
Fri, 7 Oct 2022 01:15:00 GMT
Paul is put on an official trial for his actions in the island game, but with the Krampus Jr as the jury and the Krampus himself as both judge and executioner, it's a bit of a kangaroo court.
Mon, 24 Oct 2022 01:15:00 GMT
It's the final challenge, and there's no way Paul can get out of it by proving he's a better person than the Krampus gave him credit for. All is not lost, of course, because all Paul has to do is outwit a child. At least in theory.
Charlie Chanclas Chocolate Factory, Part 1
Sun, 30 Oct 2022 01:15:00 GMT
Somewhere in the world, there's a mysterious candy factory making sweets that mystify scientists and baffle engineers. Corporate leaders would kill to know its secrets, and there are plenty of killers for hire who would try to crack such a place, only to learn that its insides defy all reason.
Charlie Chanclas Chocolate Factory, Part 2
Fri, 11 Nov 2022 01:15:00 GMT
The simplest way to deter would-be intruders to a magical candy factory is with a guard dog, but in this case a few of the fundamental rules of deterrence have been ignored. For one, the guard dog is a secret only to be discovered by the unlucky.
Charlie Chanclas Chocolate Factory, Part 3
Thu, 24 Nov 2022 01:15:00 GMT
Only a certain amount of whimsy and magic can hide the horrific necessities of industrial demand. Charlie Chanclas knows that when you have a goose that lays a golden egg, you breed it and eventually establish a mass farming operation while aggressively capturing market shares.
Charlie Chanclas Chocolate Factory, Part 4
Tue, 6 Dec 2022 01:15:00 GMT
After a few twists and turns, the party winds up in the innards of the factory, and it spells bad news for all those who dwell there. There are a certain list of pests you never want to see in a building that handles food, and player characters are at the top of that list.
Charlie Chanclas Chocolate Factory, Part 5
Sat, 17 Dec 2022 01:15:00 GMT
Trapped and interrogated, the party has no choice but to cooperate with Chanclas himself, and they're given one final tour. However, they won't go out entirely without a fight, and they definitely won't be pleasant about any of it.
Sat, 30 Dec 2022 01:15:00 GMT
In defiance of convention, the group makes a set of characters inspired by the DnD class system. They're your basic dungeon delvers and skeleton slayers with unusual backstories. However, Mayson's estranged father appears with an important message. Is he sincere, or is the entire thing all an elaborate act?
Fri, 6 Jan 2023 01:15:00 GMT
It was all a skeleton plot! A mysterious man named Max pulls aside the curtain and reveals our heroes have been duped about their adventure from the start, but he's not entirely forthcoming yet about why or how. For now, escape is foremost on the mind.
Fri, 20 Jan 2023 01:15:00 GMT
Max leads the crew through the woods and to a temporary location, but Mayson doesn't have a lot of good reason to trust Max's intentions. Additionally, their location of rest turns out to be less than safe in the long run.
Fri, 10 Feb 2023 01:15:00 GMT
After arriving in East Turkanislockistav, Mayson realizes that before they do anything, they need independent information, and Lawry learns that his abilities as a talented sneak, thief, and artist place him in demand.
Fri, 03 Mar 2023 01:15:00 GMT
Mayson raises the question of his wife with Elvis, and the crew decides that the effort is a worthy "side quest". The only hitch is how to do it and how to keep Max from objecting.
Fri, 17 Mar 2023 01:15:00 GMT
The crew meets Mayson's wife, and she's not terribly excited to see them. Seeing your estranged husband after two years of running off to be a monk is one thing, but apparently him being there violates some kind of international law.
Wed, 29 Mar 2023 01:15:00 GMT
There's been a murder, but who done it? The group has only minutes to identify the culprit, but evidence is shaky at best, and from some points of view the most likely perpetrator is Lawry.
Fri, 31 Mar 2023 01:15:00 GMT
There's a god for every occasion, and for every god, a champion blessed with that god's powers, however minor. Getting noticed in this kind of ecosystem can be pretty difficult without a leg up, but luckily there's a champion of charities!
Sat, 15 Apr 2023 01:15:00 GMT
Even singing up for event times can be a sort of challenge when you've got the right sort of team. At least the catering is free and the breakfast is continental! For better or worse, our heroes are contractually obligated to play the games to the end.
Tue, 25 Apr 2023 01:15:00 GMT
The first challenge of the show is an apartment fire! Our heroes have a chaotic and non-cooperative technique at best, but with a little dumb luck victory is possible. It's just fortunate by itself that the victims trapped in the building aren't real people!
Fri, 28 Apr 2023 01:15:00 GMT
There are a lot of different aspects to balance, and when your god represents precarious balance, the whole act of currying your gods favor is naturally prone to tipping. The next challenge is theoretically impossible for Elvis to lose! Which means the god of precarious balance may be rather fickle about it.
Fri, 5 May 2023 01:15:00 GMT
Champions aren't just fast and neurotic! They're also supposed to have a lot of neurons, or possibly faster neurons, or maybe well-connected ones. They're smart, supposedly - a fact which the team must put to the test in an escape room.
Mon, 22 May 2023 01:15:00 GMT
Champions aren't just fast and neurotic! They're also supposed to have a lot of neurons, or possibly faster neurons, or maybe well-connected ones. They're smart, supposedly - a fact which the team must put to the test in an escape room.
Tue, 30 May 2023 01:15:00 GMT
It's the final challenge! But the whole game seems rigged, and the whole event has been so stressful and off the wall that not everybody involved still knows exactly what they want anymore.
Sat, 10 Jun 2023 01:15:00 GMT
In a world of elemental powers, our heroes stand above the rest in the mercenary business, due to good marketing if nothing else. The Emperor of the Dark Nation himself hires our heroes to track down a plucky twelve year-old boy with unclear motives and a prophetic destiny.
Fri, 30 Jun 2023 01:15:00 GMT
The party finds themselves in a small frontier town where the Light Nation boy was supposedly seen, but before they can capture him, first they have to deal with precocious hijinks and tomfoolery, ending in tragedy.
Mon, 17 Jul 2023 01:15:00 GMT
Bingle has been captured, but he isn't happy about it and it's a long walk back to the Dark Nation capitol. Just about anything could go wrong, and our heroes still know fundamnetally nothing about their captive.
Mon, 31 Jul 2023 01:15:00 GMT
If Bingle were clever, he'd be quite difficult to find after an escape in a ray of light. Fortuantely, he's twelve, and would get lost if he didn't follow the roads, leaving a trail of dazzled and confused witnesses. You can't pay a teacher with rays of sunshine, and Bingle had to have stopped somewhere.
Thu, 10 Aug 2023 01:15:00 GMT
Our heroes find themselves in an abandoned mining town where they're harassed throughout the night without much explanation. The enemy is clearly near, but who the enemy is and what they want is decidedly muddy.
Wed, 30 Aug 2023 01:15:00 GMT
There must be a way a group of top government agents can capture a magical child, and the group conceives of a method absolutely nobody will see coming. As the saying goes, the enemy cannot anticipate your plans if you yourself don't know what you're thinking.
Thu, 31 Aug 2023 01:15:00 GMT
Even the most well run public event has a few hitches to it the planning teams don't expect, but luckily those bumps along the road are secondary to the main objective of our heroes! Unfortunately, there's one issue they hadn't considered, and the whole plan risks falling apart at the seams from it.
Fri, 15 Sep 2023 01:15:00 GMT
Bingle retreats to his home territory, and our heroes learn a little more about Bingle's past. It's not a typical life story, and it's not a typical place to grow up.
Fri, 29 Sep 2023 01:15:00 GMT
When it's clear he can't stay in his old home, Bingle strikes south towards the Earth Nation, where as it turns out, there's a veritable party of earth masters forming. In this case, it's a celebration style party, rather than a traveling group of adventurers, but if you're going to find people who can magically move earth, it's the place.
Sun, 15 Oct 2023 01:15:00 GMT
The Earth Kingdom's fighting champion is a sure way to impress Bingle, but it unfortuantely also tends to draw the attention of the criminal establishment. Getting the kid on board to travel the world as a fighter, with his nemeses, wearing false facial hair, turns out to be a complex, multi-step endeavor.
Sat, 28 Oct 2023 01:15:00 GMT
It's the day of the fighting championship, and Lawry chooses not to play things straight, to put it bluntly.
Sun, 04 Nov 2023 01:15:00 GMT
It's the day of the fighting championship, and Lawry chooses not to play things straight, to put it bluntly.
Sat, 18 Nov 2023 01:15:00 GMT
Having successfully failed, now the party has to clinch their victory and nab Bingle. The problem is, they haven't really thought that far, and Lawry pulled out all the stops during his fight with the Obliterator.
Sun, 26 Nov 2023 01:15:00 GMT
The very universe seems set against the party in their goals of kidnapping Bingle, but on the upside at least they have funding and, normally, a lot of success with disguises!
Sun, 10 Dec 2023 01:15:00 GMT
Elvis is not ready to let his current disguise go, but to make something of it, he is willing to go rather extreme lengths while dragging his compatriots helplessly behind.
Fri, 15 Dec 2023 01:15:00 GMT
The team should have seen Elvis's rampage coming. A guy who stays so happy lucky on a mission of kidnapping and deception can't be all there in the head, but what's done is done. Even better, Paul comes up with a better idea - one that doesn't need Bingle to be anyone's friend!
Fri, 29 Dec 2023 01:15:00 GMT
Zubo and Ibo, as it turns out, are theater fools in a somewhat desperate situation. However, just they're desperate, doesn't mean they're stupid, and the theater fool is often more clever than the men they interact with - or else they'd never survive their foolery!
Mon, 01 Jan 2024 01:15:00 GMT
They say a leopard can't change its spots, but the upside to this being the truth with certain people is that you predict how they'll react to some things. They'll behave like leopards, for example.
Fri, 19 Jan 2024 01:15:00 GMT
With the bait set and trap laid, all our team has to do is return home! It's as as simple as that, and everything would work itself out once Bingle chases behind. Or it would be, but the Dark Nation has been through some changes while our heroes were away.
Sat, 27 Jan 2024 01:15:00 GMT
The most threatening stories involve a little bit of ambiguity. When something can be anything, there's the possibility it's the worst possible thing. On the other hand, it might be the best possible thing. You wouldn't know until it's too late!
Thu, 29 Feb 2024 01:15:00 GMT
It's the final showdown! But what needs to happen? Who lives, who dies? Some questions are a bit too big for simple men, and when it comes to issues of infinity and the great void, there are no clear answers.
Fri, 01 Mar 2024 01:15:00 GMT
Dungeon City is a place where you barely scrape by if you're willing to go underground and bonk skeletons with a hammer. More of them will appear later, and they carry iron weapons, which can be sold as scrap. What this life attracts most are people who believe they're going to rise above the odds and be more than a skeleton scraper, and this is the story of some of those people!
Fri, 08 Mar 2024 01:15:00 GMT
Lawry resovles to take Elvis into a dungeon, but the whole process is ridden with bureaucracy and red tape. That means the only way is to go in unofficially, and to get a black market sample of the experience.
Tue, 26 Mar 2024 01:15:00 GMT
Dungeons are thought by some to be a very controlled experience where small, discreet units of bad guys assemble to be slaughtered wholesale. But in the event you ever found yourself in a dungeon where every creature in it decided to kill you, without waiting for you to arrive in their isolated room, you'd be better off staying at home.
Wed, 27 Mar 2024 01:15:00 GMT
There's nothing quite like a religious organization to get you questioning everything you know about life. Or is that not how it's supposed to work? In Paul's case, it's a source of stability and existential furstration.
Fri, 05 Apr 2024 01:15:00 GMT
If money attracts anything, it's bureaucracy, and the Adventuring Guild has that in spades. There's rules, regulations, fees, and a wait list to get in to the dungeon. And as these systems always exist, there are always temptations to work outside them to save time and money.