On Her Majesty's Secret Scamper - Episode 133

Sun, 29 Jun 2025 07:10:00 -0700

Summoned by a young woman, Falk returns to a mysterious estate in Shropshire that simultaneously exists in Parabellum Heights. Will Falk foil the royal kidnapping plot? How does the outcome of this adventure hinge on the undergarments of rodents? Listen to find out!

On Her Majesty’s Secret Scamper, episode 133 of This Gun in My Hand, was governed by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What do I dip in the water to propel a longship? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Melinda challenged me: “The ultimate would be [an episode about] Hamster Panties brought to you by Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.”

2. Yes, Penelope is named after the character from the animated series Hamtaro, released in the US in 2002. 

3. Why does “Card Sense” Jimmy Barnes sound like a bad Ronald Coleman impression in episode 95, but like a bad Christopher Connelly impression in this episode? Because just like that other action hero known for his skill with cards, the character is sometimes British and other times American.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQJOAiukFkI

4. Falk’s earlier dalliance at Vulverwood Hall and the first appearance of Miss Carlotta Shaywood were in episode 108, “Zildjian’s Away to Shropshire.” If you can’t get enough hamster adventures, listen to episode 78, “Speed Detective.” Or “The Hamster Caper of Curtis Cleever,” a 1979 episode of Sears Radio Theater narrated by Cicely Tyson.
https://archive.org/download/sears-radio-theatre_202008/790628%20104%20The%20Hamster%20Caper%20of%20Curtis%20Cleever.mp3

According to Wikipedia, the anthology series had a different theme for each night of the week, and a different host. Tyson hosted “Love and Hate Nights” on Thursdays.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sears_Radio_Theater

5. Shropshire borders Wales so I spent an extra few minutes finding bird call ambience recorded in Wales for the bit while they’re in Shropshire, and North Devon bird calls for the bit talking about Hemsford pansies. 

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: R23-42-Rowing or Rapids.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/480844/ 

Sound Effect Title: (Simulated) Underwater boat oar sounds by jay_mar
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/561314/ 

Sound Effect Title: CRWDBatl_Crowd Grunting, Exerting, Metered, Rowing_ShaneVincent_GSC24_BIN-AmbeoVR.wav by ShangusBurger
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/763939/ 

Sound Effect Title: R27-37-Metal Clanks and Hits.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/486295/ 

Sound Effect Title: R29-39-Chinese Screams in Battle.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/479582/

Sound Effect Title: R28-51-1940s Hollywood Japanese Soldiers Scream.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/482804/ 

Sound Effect Title: R28-44-Women Screaming and Rapid Talking.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/479894/

Sound Effect Title: Car_motor_Sound.m4a
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Blizzard123/sounds/504633/#

Sound Effect Title: Squeaky Car Door by coltures
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/262325/ 

Sound Effect Title: Screeching Tyres by iainmccurdy
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/650934/ 

Sound Effect Title: Margam Park Bird Song (processed) by g.strange42
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/684191/ 

Song Title: Wassail Song, aka Here We Come A-wassailing
Performed by the chorus of U.S. Army Band "Pershing's Own", led by Colonel Thomas Rotondi, Jr. (Leader & Commander) and CSM Debra L. McGarity (Command Sergeant Major) c. 2010.
License: Public Domain
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:U.S._Army_Band_-_Here_We_Come_A-wassailing.ogg

Sound Effect Title: North Devon Birds - Summer 2015 by nlux
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/625889/ 

Sound Effect Title: Footsteps on gravel by Joozz
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/people/Joozz/sounds/531952/

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire by GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

The image accompanying this episode uses modified details from Pep Comics (Number 66 , March 1948, pencils and inks by Bill Woggon), and Marmaduke Mouse (Number 11, Winter 1948, artist unknown), both comics in the public domain. You can view full issues of both at digitalcomicmuseum.com. 

Image Alt text: Comic book line drawing of a brunette female paper doll wearing a black and yellow striped bikini top and some kind of matching wrap around her waist. Around the edges are costumes that can be used on the paper doll including cowgirl, majorette, Arabian dancing girl, blue dress and harlequin outfit. Also the main paper doll has the face of a cartoon mouse.

Direct MP3 link

A Very Special Thirty-Eight - Episode 132

Wed, 18 Jun 2025 06:17:00 -0700

How will Falk solve problems like social disease, substance abuse or stranger danger? What happened to the villain at the end of the episode? Maybe if you listen, you’ll find out. Did you ever think of that?

A Very Special Thirty Eight, episode 132 of This Gun in My Hand, was written, voiced and edited especially by the only member of its cast and crew, Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What prevents me from suffocating in an unventilated chamber? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. “The nonsense rat is endemic to the Nicobar Islands” in India, inhabiting “tropical evergreen and semi-evergreen forests,” according to Wikipedia.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonsense_rat
2. I’m not sure if enough people were flying across the USA in 1939 for coastal elites to have developed the insult of “flyover states.” Let’s pretend they had.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Other interstitial music was taken from the public domain radio show Bold Venture. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: Park ambience - mostly birds
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Mafon2/sounds/274175/#

Sound Effect Title: Real Colt 45 M1911 (shot) by Carmelomike
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/Carmelomike/sounds/255216/

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

Sound Effect Title: FX_Footsteps_Outside_Pavement01.WAV by PeteBarry
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/647403/ 

Sound Effect Title: Traffic mel 1.wav by malupeeters
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/people/malupeeters/sounds/191350/

Sound Effect Title: Old refrigerator door.m4a by ckjzam
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/421626/ 

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of a public domain print advertisement for the International Harvester Defender Refrigerator, found in the 5 October 1946 issue of Australian Women’s Weekly. Artist unknown.
https://archive.org/details/1946-advertisement-for-international-harvester-defender-refrigerator

Image Alt text: Painting from a 1946 magazine ad shows a woman in a sleeveless red blouse and yellow skirt with flowery decoration near the waist, gesturing with her left hand towards an open refrigerator beside her. Maybe she’s in a showroom because she’s holding a curtain with her right hand. The fridge is packed with milk bottles, jars, soda or wine, a platter of fruit, a bundt cake, a whole chicken on a plate. Across the top of the image it says “THIS GUN IN MY HAND PRESENTS.” An unrolled scroll in the bottom left reads “A Very Special Thirty-Eight.”  

Direct MP3 link

Johnny Got His Gun in My Hand - Episode 131

Wed, 4 Jun 2025 11:34:00 -0700

Where am I? How could they leave me alone with my thoughts? You know it’s matrilineal, right? Listen to find out!

Johnny Got His Gun in My Hand, episode 131 of This Gun in My Hand, was encased and basketed by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. How do I disperse powder with deadly results? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. The floor cleaning solution we used at Taco Bell in 1995 was labeled “degreaser/desengrasadora.” It was not a brand name but it sounds flowery. Just in case someone in our darkest timeline really uses that brand name, let me remind you that the audio and text of This Gun in My Hand are works of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and events are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: bustle in the pub
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/organicmanpl/sounds/403285/

Sound Effect Title: HARP GLISSANDO DOWN.WAV
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/olver/sounds/505064/

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire by GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

Sound Effect Title: House Front Door Inside 3.wav
License: Public domain
https://freesound.org/people/saturdaysoundguy/sounds/388027/#

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of Dime Mystery Magazine, Volume 28, Number 2, January 1943, art by Milton Luros. In public domain.

Image Alt text: Painted pulp magazine cover. A red-haired woman in yellow blouse pulls back startled from a bony, possibly undead creature in a sarcophagus in front of her, raising a knife toward her. She’s dropping a small box with Egyptian drawings on it. The walls behind her show Egyptian style figures. Along the top it says 10¢, “JAN” and has “A Popular Publication” logo which looks like a skull. The title across the top is “THIS GUN IN MY HAND ZINE.” A small label in lower right shows a blue eagle and “BUY WAR BONDS AND STAMPS FOR VICTORY.” A larger box in lower left shows white letters on red background: “AN IMAGE THAT’S ALMOST COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO THIS EPISODE. EXCEPT THERE IS A SARCOPHAGUS IN IT SO THAT COUNTS.”

Direct MP3 link

Shoot the Moon - Episode 130

Sat, 24 May 2025 07:15:00 -0700

Can Falk and his friends stop a careless rocket launch in the heart of Parabellum City that could damage buildings and injure citizens? Which heroes or villains will guest star on this season finale? Does the Moon have air? Listen to find out!

Shoot the Moon, episode 130 of This Gun in My Hand, was launched by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon, which is not owned by the world’s RICHEST Nazi. But he’s kiiiiiinda… With what do I shoot the moon? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. There are too many special guests in this episode to list all their previous appearances. If you’re fanatical, you can look them up in the subject index linked below, which lists character appearances, characters mentioned, locations, music, ads and fake radio shows in the previous 129 episodes.
https://thisguninmyhand.blogspot.com/2022/02/subject-index.html 

2. I usually try to restrain myself from pointing out all the pop culture references in episodes of This Gun in My Hand, because if you don’t recognize the reference in the first place, it’s not going to become funny when it’s pointed out. But just to give a sense of the volume, here are all the allusions or subjects of parody in this episode: Buck Rogers, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, Moonraker, Batman, Godfather II, Agatha Christie, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Hill Street Blues, Twin Peaks, Barney Miller, Green Hornet, Buckaroo Banzai, Defenders of the Earth, GI Joe, the Secretary of “Health and Human Services” (sic), and that guy who capitalized on his inherited generational wealth and suckered people into believing he’s a genius (sorry, that doesn’t narrow it down, does it?).

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950). The “Spoilers” commercial music was from The Scar (aka Hollow Triumph, 1948). Closing music was from Killer Bait (1949). All three films are in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: Pop
Performed by Rob pulling the stopper out of a 60mL enteral syringe

Sound Effect Title: S16-06 Light wooden door open & close.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/675878/

Sound Effect Title: Djembe Hit 13 Hi Rim.wav by carlmartin
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/158957/ 

Sound Effect Title: Punch.wav
By ztrees1
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/ztrees1/sounds/134934/

Sound Effect Title: EARTHQUAKE OR DISTANT SPACE SHUTTLE RUMBLE.WAV by metrostock99
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/203281/ 

Sound Effect Title: Rumble 1.wav by Zeraora
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/524489/ 

Sound Effect Title: Landmass / Earth Rumble by el-bee
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/363122/ 

Sound Effect Title: Rockfall (7lrs,grnlzr,Eq) 2.wav by newlocknew
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/497206/ 

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the novel cover “And Then The Town Took Off,” art by Edmund Emshwiller.

Image Alt text: Painting shows close-up of a rocket or jet pilot through the clear canopy of the vehicle, high in the sky. Through the side of his windshield we see a massive hunk of earth with houses and buildings on top of it moving through the air, as if it had been removed with a giant ice cream scoop and hurled into orbit.

Direct MP3 link

No Accounting for Taste - Episode 129

Sun, 4 May 2025 10:18:00 -0700

Can Falk bring down an accounting firm with ties to organized crime? Can math lead to redemption? What’s the Croatian equivalent of “bada boom, bada bing”? Listen to find out!

No Accounting for Taste, episode 129 of This Gun in My Hand, was put in the red and written off by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. How do I move data from temporary accounts on an income statement to permanent accounts on a balance sheet? With This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. The absurd street names and Mr. Bellechek’s convoluted plan were inspired by/in homage to/ripped off from the public domain January 31, 1949 episode of Lux Radio Theatre titled “The Street With No Name.” A section of dialog with the boss and mugs repeating his plan were taken almost verbatim from there.
https://archive.org/details/OTRR_Lux_Radio_Theatre_Season_15_Singles/Lux_Radio_Theatre_49-01-31_643_Street_with_No_Name.mp3

2. I have no opinion about the efficacy or personality of any sport team manager ever and intend no satirical commentary on them in this story. It’s up to consumers of stories how to interpret them anyway. Don’t get me started on “The Death of the Author” theory because I will go off. The audio and text of This Gun in My Hand are works of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and events are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons or organized crime families, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. No managers were harmed in the making of this story.

3. Most of the absurd street names are taken from titles of actual noir films or old songs.

4. Here’s the wikipedia entry on the Five Families who run the Mafia in NYC.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Families

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Music Title (background for commercial): Clarinet Squawk
Composed by Anton Lada, Yellow Nuņez and Joe Cawley
Performed by Louisiana Five
Recorded 12 September 1919, Edison 50609-R
License: Public Domain
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Louisiana_Five/Edison_Blue_Amberol_3896/Clarinet_squawk/ 

Sound Effect Title: HARP GLISSANDO DOWN.WAV
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/olver/sounds/505064/

Sound Effect Title: 38 Caliber Gun Shot 5x
Recorded by Mike Koenig
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/375-38-Caliber-Gun-Shot-5x.html

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the paperback cover of Down and Out by Les Masters, painted by Victor Olson, thought to be public domain.

Image Alt text: Painting of a man in blue suit, white shirt, light blue striped tie, seated behind a desk. He’s smiling slightly with his elbows on the desktop, his hands together in front of him with a lit cigarette. He has dark hair. The desk has a pencil cup and only one paper on it. Beside him is a sliver of window with a view of the nighttime cityscape and a vertical sign just outside the window that reads “ACCOUNT”. Presumably the rest of the word is cut off. Caption in upper right reads “NO ACCOUNTING FOR TASTE.”

Direct MP3 link

Lips That Yearn - Episode 128

Fri, 25 Apr 2025 03:10:00 -0700

Will Falk discover who bombed a residential building in Heck’s Pantry? Can he find someone to punch or shoot for this villainy? What’s the industry standard for radio kissing? Listen to find out!

Lips That Yearn, episode 128 of This Gun in My Hand, was a bomb dropped by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What’s totally useless at pulling out people who are trapped under rubble? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. For excerpts of testimony from the Haas Unreliable Narrativities Commitee, listen to Episode 72, “Undeniable Narrator.”
https://archive.org/details/tgimh-72-undeniable-narrator

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950) and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Other music comes from “Journey Into Fear,” the June 9, 1946 episode of the public domain radio show Hour of Mystery. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: Foley_Footsteps_ShedWoodenFloor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/523273/ 

Sound Effect Title: Footsteps Dress Shoes Wood Floor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/allrealsound/sounds/161756/

Sound Effect Title: Wood Falling - 4 Drops.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Manim8/sounds/577452/

Sound Effect Title: Huge Cinematic Explosion.wav by musicace17
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/486551/

Sound Effect Title: Rubble Trouble by magnuswaker
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/758580/ 

Sound Effect Title: Rocks Falling No-Reverb Edition 16 Bit. Foley Sound by ALLANZ10D
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/323477/ 

Sound Effect Title: Wood_Creak_02.wav by dheming
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/177779/ 

Sound Effect Title: S16-06 Light wooden door open & close.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/675878/

Sound Effect Title: Larun_Mountains_Low_QuietWind.aif by nicotep
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/683674/

Sound Effect Title: Creaking Door by eqavox
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/709418/ 

Sound Effect Title: G28-27-Crowd Fast Walla Applause.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/438387/

Sound Effect Title: Sitcom Laughter with Applause, Small Audience by Kinoton
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/371562/ 

The image accompanying this episode is a detail of “Collapsed structures after the 1935 Shinchiku-Taichū earthquake” from 《楊肇嘉留真集》, "Yang Zhaojia's Collection of True Pictures."
License for image: Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International.
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Collapsed_structures_after_the_1935_Shinchiku-Taich%C5%AB_earthquake.jpg

Direct MP3 link

Clash of the Story Boys - Episode 127

Sun, 13 Apr 2025 10:10:00 -0700

Will Exposition Boy expose the backstory of Billy Narrator, boy detective? Can Falk prevent them from destroying the whole episode and the sanity of his listeners? Listen to find out!

Clash of the Story Boys, episode 127 of This Gun in My Hand, was narrated and exposed by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. How do I settle creative differences? With This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Thanks to Pete Larsen for the idea for this episode: “I'd love to see a fight between 'Exposition Boy, the Teen-Sidekick' and 'Billy Narrator Jr.'”

2. If you’re going to take six years to develop an international exposition and build an artificial island for it, maybe open it in an off-year when there isn’t an official world’s fair on the other coast. The Golden Gate International Exposition opened in 1939, competing with the 1939 New York World’s Fair. (Spoilers: they did run out of money and closed early in October 1939, then scrounged up a little more to reopen May-September 1940.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Gate_International_Exposition

3. Billy commandeered the show in episode 113, “Don’t Kid a Kidder,” to do his own show, Billy Narrator, Boy Detective.
https://archive.org/details/tgimh-113-dont-kid-a-kidder

4. The Pope’s Rhinoceros by Lawrence Norfolk establishes a deeper backstory than any other novel I’ve read. The first four pages describe glacial and geologic activity that form the lake where protagonists finally come into the story on the fifth page. Literally a glacial age of backstory.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Exposition Boy’s storytelling music was from “Journey Into Fear,” the June 9, 1946 episode of the public domain radio show Hour of Mystery. Music from the second commercial was from the public domain film Death Machines (1976). Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals. 

Sound Effect Title: Traffic mel 1.wav
By malupeeters
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/people/malupeeters/sounds/191350/

Sound Effect Title: Park ambience - mostly birds
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Mafon2/sounds/274175/#

Music Title: Kitten on the Keys
Composed and Performed by Zez Confrey and His Orchestra
Recorded May 4, 1922
License: Public Domain
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Antique_Phonograph_Music_Program_Various_Artists/Antique_Phonograph_Music_Program_05052009/Kitten_on_the_Keys/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of one panel from the April 28, 1929 public domain comic strip Just Kids by Ad Carter. The title of the comic strip changed to Mush Stebbins and His Sister in 1950.

Direct MP3 link

A Song of Brass and Ash - Episode 126

Sun, 23 Mar 2025 07:23:00 -0700

Have beings from outer space landed in Heck’s Pantry? Will Falk stop the inhuman aural assault on Parabellum City? How come I don’t get no bassoon solo in the commercial? Listen to find out!

A Song of Brass and Ash, episode 126 of This Gun in My Hand, was blown until it was windy by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. How do I get to Carnegie Hall? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. When searching for a sad trombone sound on freesound dot org, I found this cache of 91 twisted and screwed public domain trombone sounds by user PhonosUPF, most of them sounding nothing like a trombone. I’m not using all of them here, but they inspired this episode.
https://freesound.org/search/?q=phonosupf+trombone

2. The Hall of Justice shown in the 1970s Super Friends cartoon was based on the design of Cincinnati Union Terminal.

3. I can’t tell if the Zurich Baroque Ensemble’s recording of Marcello’s Oboe Concerto in F Minor includes bassoon as Jojo claims.

4. Young James Marshall Hendrix carried his guitar with him everywhere he could, to school and to friends’ houses, practicing all day. 

5. This Gun in My Hand podcast has existed longer than the Confederate States of America.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

The nineteen sound effects named below were created by PhonosUPF.
https://freesound.org/search/?q=phonosupf+trombone
In order of appearance in this episode, they were:
1. Trombone grave (501269)
2. Trombone grave 3
3. Trombone grave 2
4. Trombone metal 2
5. Trombone grave (490995)
6. Trombone stretching 13
7. Trombone signal 13
8. Trombone sequence
9. Trombone stretching 6
10. Trombone percussion
11. Trombone blow 2
12. Trombone set
13. Trombone blow
14. Trombone signal 14
15. Trombone grave 5
16. Wagnerian trombones
17? Trombone melody
18. Trombone glissandi
19. Trombone metal 5

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

Sound Effect Title: R10-56-Footsteps on Metal Staircase.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/480641/

Sound Effect Title: muted cornet 2.wav by thatjeffcarter
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/185435/ 

Sound Effect Title: tuba frullato by PhonosUPF
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/501504/ 

Music Title: Oboe Concerto in F Minor
Composed by Alessandro Marcello
Performed by The Zurich Baroque Ensemble
Composition and recording are in public domain.
https://musopen.org/music/45546-concerto-for-oboe-orchestra/

Sound Effect Title: Clarinet- ORTF Stereo Pair (NT-5's)-01.wav by debudding
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/44361/ 

Sound Effect Title: Banging Metal Lid by wolfdoctor
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/520074/ 

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the public domain cover of the 1951 novel Blues for the Prince written by Bart Spicer, artist unknown.

Direct MP3 link

This Hun in My Gland - Episode 125

Mon, 3 Mar 2025 14:39:00 -0800

Upset stomach? Feeling liverish? Is something obstructing you from your normal functions? It might be a microscopic Nazi U-boat exploring your nether regions. How will you survive? Listen to find out!

This Hun in My Gland, episode 125 of This Gun in My Hand, was forcefully expelled from the lips of Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What folk remedy settles an upset stomach? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Doktor Goren’s surname is taken from a minor character from the Springbok Radio drama Vale of Darkness, written by Ron Evans. I can’t find info about when it was originally broadcast, but you can listen to the series from the Internet Archive or other sources on the web.
https://archive.org/details/vale-of-darkness-19xx-xx-xx-26/Vale_of_Darkness_19xx-xx-xx_01.mp3

2. For the purposes of crossover with Melinda’s stories about fairy munchkins, hamquatches, reptilibugs and the pets of our extended family, let’s assume Fritz is actually my sister-in-law’s dog playing the trombone. He’s not a Nazi, just playing a part.

3. When I was searching for a “sad trombone” on freesound dot org, I found 91 sound trombone samples stretched and modified by user PhonosUPF. The weird dramatic sound near the end of the episode is actually two of those trombone sounds combined.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950) and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: Sad Trombone.wav
by Benboncan
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/73581/ 

Sound Effect Title: descent.wav by Dguil
License: Creative Commons Sampling+
https://freesound.org/s/85212/ 

Eatmore Meats commercial jingle by Allied Radio Artists.
License: Public Domain
https://www.oldtimeradiodownloads.com/commercials/allied-radio-artists-radio-jingles/eatmore-meat-products-195x-xx-xx

Sound Effect Title: 60Hz_Tube_Radio_Hum.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/hetanoyokozuki/sounds/541812/

Sound Effect Title: G45-18-Submarine Motor Stop.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/438720/ 

Sound Effect Title: R18-31-Old Car Ahooga Horn.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/480002/ 

Sound Effect Title: Pouring Soup in a Metal Pan - Quick,Short,Gross
by Hitrison
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/251410/

Sound Effect Title: trombone melody 3 by PhonosUPF
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/501272/

Sound Effect Title: trombone blow by PhonosUPF
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/491015/ 

Sound Effect Title: Charlie Brown Style Teacher by crashoverride6
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/146933/ 

The image accompanying this episode is a collage including details from Detective Fiction Weekly, February 12, 1938 (public domain painting by V. E. Pyles) and a panel from the public domain National Comics Number 36, October 1943 (pencils and inks by Jon Blummer).

Direct MP3 link

I Have Her MAC-10 - Episode 124

Wed, 19 Feb 2025 05:11:00 -0800

Can Falk shut down the villains who are copying his radio show? Is it a warning of horrible events to come or a plot to bring about horrible events? How does it hold up against nitroglycerin? Listen to find out!

I Have Her MAC-10, episode 124 of This Gun in My Hand, was dry-fired by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What ends a story more subtly than an explosion? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Falk doesn't seem to realize the music used for his show is in public domain. He couldn’t sue anyone else who wanted to use it.

2. In our world, the US agreed in a 1977 treaty to gradually give control of the canal to the nation of Panama, planning the handoff to be complete in 1999.

3. Kids These Days might not be aware that until the end of the Twentieth Century, every American city and town and village had a directory called a “phone book” which was distributed to the public and which doxxed everyone who had a phone, listing their phone number and address. You could pay the phone company to be "unlisted," to exclude your name, number or address from the phone book. This was not considered a bribe or extortion because people had not yet reached a consensus that too many people had been stalked or killed over the decades. The introduction of cell phones seems to have changed that paradigm. I hope.

Credits:
The opening and transitional music clips were from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

"Kelvar" commercial music taken from Crestablanca radio commercial.
https://www.oldradioworld.com/media/Vintage%20Commercials%20Crestablanca.mp3

Sound Effect Title: Car_motor_Sound.m4a
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Blizzard123/sounds/504633/#

Sound Effect Title: 60Hz_Tube_Radio_Hum.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/hetanoyokozuki/sounds/541812/

Sound Effect Title: Radio tuning-static-interference
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/quantumriver/sounds/552160/

Sound Effect Title: S15-03 Good general walla with some dishes; cheer.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/675070/

Sound Effect Title: G28-27-Crowd Fast Walla Applause.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/438387/

Sound Effect Title: R02-06-Medium Crowd Applause.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/480682/ 

Sound Effect Title: R28-44-Women Screaming and Rapid Talking.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/479894/

Sound Effect Title: Casio AS-51R Cassette Player Tape/Radio Switch by OneKellyOrdered
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/624638/ 

Sound Effect Title: Squeaky Car Door
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/coltures/sounds/262325/#

Sound Effect Title: Footsteps on gravel
By Joozz
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/people/Joozz/sounds/531952/

Sound Effect Title: House Front Door Inside 3.wav
License: Public domain
https://freesound.org/people/saturdaysoundguy/sounds/388027/# 

Sound Effect Title: Floorboard Creak 2
by Soundbysimmons
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/717231/ 

Sound Effect Title: Hiss of a Tilley pressurised paraffin (kerosene) lamp
by odilonmarcenaro
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/275999/

Sound Effect Title: S18-13 Explosion with falling debris.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/674889/ 

Sound Effect Title: R12-02-Large Explosions.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/486018/ 

The image accompanying this episode includes modified details from the public domain comic book Our Presidents From Washington to Eisenhower (circa 1950s, artist unknown) and the cover of the public domain magazine Phantom Detective, Volume 40, Number 1, October 1942, art by Rudolph Belarski.

Direct MP3 link

Where Should You Start?

Sun, 16 Feb 2025 14:01:00 -0800

If you're curious about This Gun in My Hand but aren't sure about going back to listen to 123 episodes in order beginning with Episode One, Skee-Ball Racket, I don't blame you.  There are tons of call-backs to earlier episodes and inside jokes, but also unrelated jokes so you can jump in anywhere and get up to speed.

So if you don't want to start with Episode One or with the latest episode, what others might be good introductions? Here are some episodes that stand alone, and a few that I'm more proud of than others.

1. Skee-Ball Racket - Still the best introduction of Falk Zildjian and his shtick. 

3. Not So Heroic - The mother and daughter from a 1980s feminine hygiene commercial shill guns, as their commercial takes over the whole episode.

7. The Only Thing That Stops a Few Bad Apples - Officer Goodman is unsure how to racially profile a driver with a broken tail-light, because it's not a visual medium. Later he joins Detective Badcopowitz to interrogate Falk Zildjian about his powers.

15. Gun Buyback - Why would the National Rifle Manufacturers Association host a gun buyback event? And why would the G.I. Jake team, ICE, Seal Team Six, C.O.B.R.A., robots and ponies show up to sell their guns?

16. How Many - WPBC headlines, this just in: a bullet. In my spleen. Gunman here in the studio. In just a moment we’ll bring you back to the top story about the school shooting and the capitol shooting. Will I live? 

20. Infern-O-Scope - What in the Hell is going on here? Yes, that’s one way to view it. What will Falk & Castro see when they peer through the Infern-O-scope?

32. The Highwayman - Will Falk get a chance to take down the highway robber before bystanders talk his ear off? Is she making a fair analogy to the relationship between capitalist and worker?

34. 2 Fast 2 Boggan - Has this gang of young daredevils decided the most exciting sport is breaking the law? Or are they just sledding?

37. Strikeforce Shakespeare - What if G.I. Joe ran out of ideas for a new wave of action figures so they  gave codenames based on the military and Shakespeare?

48. All Fashion Police Are Fabulous - How will Falk escape from the Fashion Police? What conglomerate of villains threatens the tri-state area and beyond? What is the deeper code in Little Orphan Ayn’s decoder rings?

54. Look Out, Moon (featuring Captain Rogers) - Falk sets his sights on Buck Rogers, Mr. Rogers and Star Trek's idiotic Prime Directive.

60. Hush, Sweet Zildjian - Falk tries to stay awake while confronting Autonomous Sensory Mind Rendition, or ASMR.

69. Heck's Pantry for the Holidays - A Hallmark Christmas Romance with organized crime, meat cleavers and guns.

70. Domestic Harmony - Falk makes a guest appearance on his friends' radio sitcom, "Information Wants to Be Free, But For You It's Two Bits."

83. Multitracks of Madness - In the only stereophonic episode of This Gun in My Hand, Falk seeks help from a strange doctor to pass through the doors of perception on the trail of a French killer! Will he return from the sixth dimension with his dangerous quarry? Will he return at all? 

98. Do Androids Dream of His Girl Friday? - What happens when Falk gets stuck in a screwball comedy? Can Falk weed out the humans from the androids? Uses dialog from the 1940 public domain film His Girl Friday.

102. Fievel Getcha Ten - A morality play about a boy stumbling into the world of vice, from penny-pitching to billiards to pinball. 

108. Zildjian's Away to Shropshire - In gratitude for his assistance, Lord and Lady Pelennor invite Falk to visit their estate. Is there no end to their generosity? Is there no escape? Is chili better than rashers for your supper? Listen to find out!

111. Cut Down in His Prime - New radio show called The Loner about a drifter who finds bodies and solves crimes. So many bodies.

113. Don't Kid a Kidder - For two bits per day plus expenses, you can hire Billy Narrator, boy detective to solve your mysteries. Where’s my missing cat? Does Georgia like me? Where’d that corpse come from? Listen to find out!

As you can see, it's hard for me to pick out only a few because they all sound good. Are you sure you don't want to start with episode one and listen to every one? Maybe after you try a few you'll come back for more.

Go to Health - Episode 123

Fri, 7 Feb 2025 03:44:00 -0800

Medical help for Falk's wound is right around the corner, but how will he get past The Health Access Facilitator? Will corporate bureaucracy spell his doom? You're gonna use an Allen wrench on a pipe fitting? Listen to find out!

Go to Health, episode 123 of This Gun in My Hand, was doctored by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. How do I ensure every episode goes out with a bang? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. The President of the United States depicted in this episode is fictional, not meant to represent the president you’re thinking of. Any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
2. I thought it would make the nurse sound uninformed about plumbing if she thought an Allen wrench would help tighten a loose pipe fitting, but maybe one of those hose clamps with the bolt that tightens it could have an Allen bolt? Slightly autobiographical scene – even when I understand what tools and parts need to be used for a plumbing repair, my trouble is usually trying to fit the wrench into a tight and awkward position.

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Music Title: Impact Allegretto
by Kevin MacLeod
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 International
https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Kevin_MacLeod/Impact/Impact_Allegretto_1100/

"Gun Doctor" music and hoofbeats taken from the September 2, 1954 episode of the radio show Dr. Sixgun.
License: Public Domain
https://archive.org/details/otr_drsixgun

Sound Effect Title: laser gun blasts #2
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/377971/ 

Sound Effect Title: Laser Machine Gun
By Mike Koenig
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://soundbible.com/1774-Laser-Machine-Gun.html

Sound Effect Title: Laser Machine Gun
by sonically_sound
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/612875/ 

Sound Effect Title: S18-25 Rifle shots battle.wav
by craigsmith
License: Publid Domain
https://freesound.org/s/675666/ 

Sound Effect Title: distant rumbling thunderstorm, ambience
by greyfeather
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/712914/ 

Sound Effect Title: Rumble of the rain in Africa during the rain season
by felix.blume
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/190139/ 

Sound Effect Title: S18-13 Explosion with falling debris.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/674889/ 

Sound Effect Title: R12-02-Large Explosions.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/486018/ 

The image accompanying this episode includes modified details of panels from the public domain comics Robotmen of The Lost Planet Number 1 (1952), art by Gene Fawcette, and General Electric’s Adventures in Electronics (1955), art by George Roussous.

Direct MP3 link

Certainly No Angels - Episode 122

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 13:35:00 -0800

Can Falk persuade a string of villains to change their ways? How can you avoid entanglements with your secretary? Would you like to wrestle now? Listen to find out!

Certainly No Angels, episode 122 of This Gun in My Hand, was certified angular by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What do I use to put the boom in the boiler room? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Would a gray-on-gray costume fit with a “summer” seasonal color palette? It’s possible that Writer’s Brick doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Credits:
The opening and some transitional music was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Transitional music around the commercial and the “Writer’s Brick” musical sting were from the June 9, 1946 episode of the public domain radio show US Steel Hour of Mystery. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Music Title: Lobby Time
By Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Lobby_Time_(ISRC_USUAN1600054).mp3

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire
By GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

Sound Effect Title: mechanical alarm clock
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/522119/

Sound Effect Title: S18-13 Explosion with falling debris.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/674889/ 

Sound Effect Title: R12-02-Large Explosions.wav by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/486018/ 

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the inside cover of the public domain comic book Police Lineup Number 1 (August 1951), art by Wally Wood.

Direct MP3 link

Uniquely Heroic Americans - Episode 121

Fri, 10 Jan 2025 09:53:00 -0800

What are the mysterious objects seen flying over Santopolis? Can Falk stop them with the help of a new paramilitary force made up of old familiar faces? How do you feel about cilantro? Listen to find out!

Uniquely Heroic Americans, episode 121 of This Gun in My Hand, was seasoned and lorded over by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What makes my chili taste uniquely American? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Is this the first episode to quote Dead Kennedys lyrics? Maybe.
2. Darn, I should have started the ad with “speaking of motherships…”
3. Robert Thomas Northrup’s mother did not rewrite the ad text in this episode. Some unnamed fictional character who wrote the ad might have solicited notes and rewrites from their mother, or might have been lying. Many statements made by characters in This Gun in My Hand are lies or mistakes. That’s for you to determine because your interpretation is more important than the actual author’s intent. See “The Death of the Author,” an essay by Roland Barthes.
https://web.archive.org/web/20200419132326/http://www.ubu.com/aspen/aspen5and6/threeEssays.html#barthes
4. “In the Western world, Persia (or its cognates) was historically the common name for Iran. In 1935, Reza Shah asked foreign delegates and League of Nations to use the term Iran (‘Land of the Aryans’), the endonym of the country, used by its native people, in formal correspondence.” - “Reza Shah,” Wikipedia, 2 January 2025, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reza_Shah#Replacement_of_Persia_with_Iran

Credits:
The opening music was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Transitional music around the commercial was from the June 9, 1946 episode of the public domain radio show US Steel Hour of Mystery. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: tug boat horn - sound effect.wav
By komal22moiz
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/komal22moiz/sounds/380825/

Sound Effect Title: R11-19-Army Marching Steadily.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/480434/ 

(another marching sound to layer with above)
Sound Effect Title: Chân Lính
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/546791/ 

Sound Effect Title: Stomach Rumble
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/yrdn/sounds/473989/

Sound Effect Title: groaning1.flac
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/borygmi/sounds/414975/

Sound Effect Title: 38 Caliber Gun Shot 5x
Recorded by Mike Koenig
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/375-38-Caliber-Gun-Shot-5x.html

Sound Effect Title: Kimmokkeita / Ricochets
By YleArkisto
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/people/YleArkisto/sounds/401921/

Sound Effect Title: A slap or smack in the face
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/522596/ 

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of the public domain comic book Fightin’ Marines Number 14 (May 1955), artist unknown.
https://digitalcomicmuseum.com/index.php?dlid=21270

Direct MP3 link

Journey Into Fiasco - Episode 120

Thu, 2 Jan 2025 05:10:00 -0800

Can David Graham, a torpedo engineer vital to the war effort, escape from German spies? Can Falk protect him? Is that supposed to be a Greek accent? Listen to find out!

Journey Into Fiasco, episode 120 of This Gun in My Hand, was driven and engineered by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. What makes torpedoes move faster? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. This episode was inspired by “Journey Into Fear,” an episode of The US Steel Hour of Mystery starring Lawrence Olivier and broadcast on June 9, 1946, which was adapted from the 1940 novel by Eric Ambler.
https://www.oldtimeradiodownloads.com/thriller/the-hour-of-mystery/journey-into-fear-1946-06-09

2. No, it's not my impression of a Greek accent. The lines from Mithrodopolis in this episode are my impression of the guy from that 1946 broadcast of Journey Into Fear, doing an unidentifiable accent that's all over the place. I actually tried to sound like David Lander's character from On the Air, a 1992 David Lynch tv comedy that only aired 3 episodes in the US.

3. “Mon petit chou” was an expression I heard not in high school French class, but from my mother. She had learned it from her father who landed at Normandy three to six days after D-Day. He drove a refrigerated supply truck. I wonder in what context he learned “mon petit chou” from the locals?

Credits:
The opening and middle transitional music clips were from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Other music comes from “Journey Into Fear,” the June 9, 1946 episode of the public domain radio show Hour of Mystery. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: chugging diesel (bus) and rev.MP3
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/CraftyIndividual/sounds/418436/

Sound Effect Title: bus coach ext pull up brake air release idle.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/kyles/sounds/454420/

Sound Effect Title: Bus Closing Door
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/am7/sounds/520753/

Sound Effect Title: bustle in the pub
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/organicmanpl/sounds/403285/

Sound Effect Title: Footsteps Dress Shoes Wood Floor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/allrealsound/sounds/161756/

Sound Effect Title: Slam door.MP3
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/SoundsForHim/sounds/395653/

Sound Effect Title: S16-06 Light wooden door open & close.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/675878/

Sound Effect Title: Shotgun Reload Pump
Recorded by RA The Sun God
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1959-Shotgun-Reload-Pump.html

Sound Effect Title: 1911 Pistol Cocking
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/J.Anthracite/sounds/465488/

Sound Effect Title: Glock 19 Handgun Pistol Slide Cocking Sounds
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/jackmurrayofficial/sounds/393734/

Sound Effect Title: AR15 M4 Gun Hardware Magazine Movement Sounds
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/jackmurrayofficial/sounds/393732/

Sound Effect Title: Gun Cocking Sound.mp3
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/545958/ 

Sound Effect Title: Pump Action Shotgun Cycle
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/370344/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of a panel from the public domain Greyhound promotional comic book Driving Like a Pro (1958), artist unknown.
https://digitalcomicmuseum.com/preview/index.php?did=31501

Direct MP3 link

The Hapless Hack of Gazpacho Gulch - Episode 119

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 05:58:00 -0800

Is it wrong to make up stories about silly gunfights fifty years ago while authoritarian figures are taking power and civilians are getting massacred as we speak? That’s the dilemma Falk has to solve, in the middle of a gunfight!

The Hapless Hack of Gazpacho Gulch, episode 119 of This Gun in My Hand, was rustled up and branded with innuendo by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out, available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. (But wait until the strike's over to order it.) What helps me escape from my neighbor’s basement? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:

1. Getting a story accepted by an editor who was then fired, and getting it rejected by his replacement, was based on something that happened to my favorite creative writing professor, the late Dr. Gilbert Cross. The editor who liked his stuff published three of his spy novels under the name “Jon Winters” in the late 70s and early 80s, before getting replaced by an editor who didn’t like them.

Credits:

The opening music was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: 38 Caliber Gun Shot 5x

Recorded by Mike Koenig

License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0

http://soundbible.com/375-38-Caliber-Gun-Shot-5x.html

Sound Effect Title: Real Colt 45 M1911 (shot)

By Carmelomike

License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0

https://freesound.org/people/Carmelomike/sounds/255216/

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire

By GoodSoundForYou

License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0

http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav

License: Public Domain

https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

Sound Effect Title: Kicking/Forcing/Breaking Wooden Door

License: Public Domain

https://freesound.org/people/qubodup/sounds/160213/

Sound Effect Title: Plywood_Prying_01.wav 

By dheming

License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0

https://freesound.org/s/128408/ 

Sound Effect Title: door wood hit +window rattle slam bang various.wav 

License: Public Domain 

https://freesound.org/s/452595/ 

Sound Effect Title: Crash 

License: Public Domain

https://freesound.org/s/512246/ 

Sound Effect Title: S10-19 Falling wooden beam; big interior crash; house collapses; long.wav

License: Public Domain

https://freesound.org/s/675967/ 

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of an interior illustration from Street & Smith’s Western Story Magazine, Vol. CLXXIV No. 2 (June 3, 1939), public domain, artist unknown.

Direct MP3 link

Scrapping at the Escarpment - Episode 118

Thu, 12 Dec 2024 07:33:00 -0800

How will Falk escape this scrape with The Scrapper? Will he have to climb over or down the escarpment? Will she throw the book at him? Where did I put those stickers with the flowers? Listen to find out!

Scrapping at the Escarpment, episode 118 of This Gun in My Hand, was scraped together and later scuppered by Rob Northrup, with special guest Melinda Flicka as the hamster-monger. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out. That’s right, my new novella Sisyphus, Eat Your Heart Out is now available in paperback and ebook from Amazon. I’ll post readings of the first two chapters soon. Buy it today! If you have Kindle Unlimited, you can read the ebook for free and I still get two bits kickback for it, possibly more. And you can still buy Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. In fact that’s only been in ebook format so far, now available for the first time in paperback. How did I get through the locked door of your apartment? With This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Santa Rosita is where the treasure was buried in [spoilers] It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963).

Credits:
Transitional music clips were taken from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), The Scar (aka Hollow Triumph, 1948) and Killer Bait (1949), films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: Traffic mel 1.wav
By malupeeters
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/people/malupeeters/sounds/191350/

Sound Effect Title: S16-06 Light wooden door open & close.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/675878/

Sound Effect Title: Footsteps Dress Shoes Wood Floor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/allrealsound/sounds/161756/

Sound Effect Title: Cutlery drawer
License: Public Domain
http://soundbible.com/591-Cutlery-Drawer.html

Sound Effect Title: Glass Bottle Breaking
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/IENBA/sounds/607910/

Sound Effect Title: Mount Moganshan Insect Chorus
By: RTB45
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/RTB45/sounds/325321/
Insect chorus recorded one summer evening, Mount Moganshan, Zhejiang Provence, People's Republic of China

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the public domain comic book cover from Monte Hale Western Number 50 (July 1950), pencils and inks by Edmond Good.

Direct MP3 link

The Chilling Horror That Grinds and Wiggles - Episode 117

Sun, 24 Nov 2024 05:07:00 -0800

Direct MP3 link

Debut Taunts - Episode 116

Sat, 16 Nov 2024 14:46:00 -0800

Direct MP3 link

The Assassination of Yip Harburg by the Coward Fan Mail - Episode 115

Fri, 8 Nov 2024 15:48:00 -0800

Can Falk prevent the murder of beloved songwriter E. Y. “Yip” Harburg? Why would a fan want to kill him? Will everyone come out of it with their childhood memories intact? Listen to find out!

The Assassination of Yip Harburg by the Coward Fan Mail, episode 115 of This Gun in My Hand, was written, edited and a sung-a on the tongue-a by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. What physical object represents my heart and brain and courage and love of home? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Watch excerpts from the 1936 Merrie Melodies cartoon “I Love to Singa” starring Owl Jolson.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2y6CNuffBi0

2. Orson Welles produced a successful version of Macbeth with an all-Black cast in 1936.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voodoo_Macbeth

3. Judy Garland led a revised cast in Lux Radio Theater’s one-hour radio adaptation of The Wizard of Oz, broadcast December 25, 1950.
https://www.oldtimeradiodownloads.com/drama/lux/lux-radio-theater-50-12-25-726-the-wizard-of-oz

4. Wikipedia has an entry on Political interpretations of The Wizard of Oz. Wild stuff. I cribbed some of their ideas.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_interpretations_of_The_Wonderful_Wizard_of_Oz

Credits:
The opening music clip was from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Music Title: Theme to Kolchak: Night Stalker
Composed by Gil Mellé
Whistled by Rob
Fair use excerpt, I hope.

Sound Effect Title: S15-03 Good general walla with some dishes; cheer.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/675070/

Sound Effect Title: G28-27-Crowd Fast Walla Applause.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/438387/

Sound Effect Title: R02-06-Medium Crowd Applause.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/480682/ 

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire
By GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

Sound Effect Title: Real Colt 45 M1911 (shot)
By Carmelomike
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
https://freesound.org/people/Carmelomike/sounds/255216/

Sound Effect Title: House Front Door Inside 3.wav
License: Public domain
https://freesound.org/people/saturdaysoundguy/sounds/388027/# 

Sound Effect Title: R28-44-Women Screaming and Rapid Talking.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/479894/

Sound Effect Title: Footsteps Dress Shoes Wood Floor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/allrealsound/sounds/161756/

Sound Effect Title: S41-25 Car backfires; reverberant.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/675723/

Sound Effect Title: footsteps cellar.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/gecop/sounds/545030/

Sound Effect Title: Taurus G2c Dry Trigger Pull
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/NoonerBear/sounds/589848/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the back cover of the public domain comic book Dell Junior Treasury, Number 5 (July 1956), painted by Mel Crawford.

Direct MP3 link

The PunGent Cleans up - Episode 114

Fri, 8 Nov 2024 15:43:00 -0800

The PunGent turns over a new leaf! The slug beneath that leaf slithers away from the smell as quickly as it can. Will he solve a murder? Will he detour beneath the Earth? How you gonna keep ‘em down on the farm? Listen to find out!

The PunGent Cleans Up, episode 114 of This Gun in My Hand, was convoluted by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. How do I unravel convoluted tales? With This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. For previous appearances or mentions of The PunGent, Alan, CHUFFs, CHOUFs and Mole Men, see the subject index.
https://thisguninmyhand.blogspot.com/2022/02/subject-index.html
2. The charred ruins of Google claims that Brits pronounce “bons mots” as “baanz mahts,” which does not seem to reflect the consensus of dictionary websites.

Credits:
The opening and a later transitional music clip were from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950); the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949); and a brief piece of music at the end of the last commercial is from The Scar (1948, aka Hollow Triumph), all films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: R12-43-Old Car Horns.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/479995/

Sound Effect Title: Car_motor_Sound.m4a
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/Blizzard123/sounds/504633/#

Sound Effect Title: Car_Stop_Breaks_Screech_Engine-Rev_by-monnie101.mp4.WAV
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/monnie101/sounds/58150/

Sound Effect Title: TUBE POP.wav
By sandyrb
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/102540/

Music Title from “Regrets” commercials: 'Le Regret, Op. 332’
Composed by Charles Mayer.
Incorrectly attributed to Chopin for many years under the title 'Valse mélancolique in F-sharp minor' A1/7.
Performed by Olga Gurevich
Composition and Performance License: Public Domain
https://musopen.org/music/12481-valse-melancolique-le-regret-op-332/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of a public domain drawing by Duplessis, “Man in suit, Paris, France, 1900.”

Direct MP3 link

Episode 115, available on Youtube

Sat, 2 Nov 2024 07:26:00 -0700

Can Falk prevent the murder of beloved songwriter E. Y. “Yip” Harburg? Why would a fan want to kill him? Will everyone come out of it with their childhood memories intact? Listen to find out!

“The Assassination of Yip Harburg by the Coward Fan Mail,” episode 115 of This Gun in My Hand, was written, edited and a sung-a on the tongue-a by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. What physical object represents my heart and brain and courage and love of home? This Gun in My Hand!

Since I'm unable to post podcast episodes of This Gun in My Hand to archive dot org, I can't link them in my feed here. Until that's fully restored, your alternative for listening to new episodes is the version on Youtube. I'll post the audio version as soon as I can with full credits on the blog, which will show up in rss feed.

Episode 114, The PunGent Cleans Up, available on Youtube

Sun, 20 Oct 2024 04:29:00 -0700

The Internet Archive has been down for a few days so I haven't been able to upload the latest episode of This Gun in My Hand there, which means I can't make it available as part of my podcast feed. I'll post it as soon as I can. In the meantime, you can hear or view the episode on Youtube.

Don't Kid a Kidder - Episode 113

Sun, 15 Sep 2024 12:22:00 -0700

For two bits per day plus expenses, you can hire Billy Narrator, boy detective to solve your mysteries. Where’s my missing cat? Does Georgia like me? Where’d that corpse come from? Listen to find out!

Don’t Kid a Kidder, episode 113 of This Gun in My Hand, was popped off by Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy Rob’s books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. What’s the best toy in the backyard or the schoolyard? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. The Clutching Hand was a 1936 cliffhanger serial. Band of the Hand was a 1986 action film executive produced by Michael Mann.
https://archive.org/details/clutching_hand_ep1

2. A few of Francis’ lines were shamelessly stolen from my memory of “Pinch Singer,” a 1936 Little Rascals short of which, sadly, I can’t find a free version on the web.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pinch_Singer

Credits:
The opening and middle transitional music clips were from public domain film The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950). Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Sound Effect Title: G39-09-Boxing Fight Bell.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/438626/

Sound Effect Title: 22lr Caliber Rifle Shots and Reloading
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/717133/ 

Sound Effect Title: Gun Fire
By GoodSoundForYou
License: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0
http://soundbible.com/1998-Gun-Fire.html

Sound Effect Title: TUBE POP.wav
By sandyrb
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/102540/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of an ad from Mechanix Illustrated, presumed to be public domain.

Direct MP3 link

It Was a Dark and Stormy Reading of the Will - Episode 112

Sun, 8 Sep 2024 11:17:00 -0700

Will a mansion full of monsters and ghouls scare Falk Zildjian away from doing his duty? Will hearts be torn out or tamed? Is there anyone here besides us chickens? Listen to find out!

It Was a Dark and Stormy Reading of the Will, episode 112 of This Gun in My Hand, was carried out according to the final instructions of Rob Northrup. This episode and all others are available on Youtube with automatically-generated closed captions of dialog. Visit http://ThisGuninMyHand.blogspot.com for credits, show notes, archives, and to buy my books, such as Little Heist in the Big Woods and Other Revisionist Atrocities. What ensures that I get good deals at thrift stores? This Gun in My Hand!

Show Notes:
1. Watching The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini (1966), The Bat (1959) or House on Haunted Hill (1959) will not necessarily prepare you for this episode, but it’d be a good excuse to put off listening to this episode.
The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UyPC24qfI4
The Bat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td3OM8jbBJQ
House on Haunted Hill: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jsnw-RNGKFY

2. This Gun in My Hand is perpetually set in 1939. Patsy Kelly’s next movie after 1939 was released in October 1940, The Hit Parade of 1941, also known as Romance and Rhythm. Her reputation was enough to get her listed on the posters for this film, and pictured on some of them.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hit_Parade_of_1941#/media/File:Hit_Parade_of_1941.jpg

3. The audio and text of This Gun in My Hand are works of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, real organizations, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, organizations, places and events are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

4. Clacton-on-Sea is east and a little north of London, but it’s not in what they consider East London.

Credits:
The opening and middle transitional music clips were from The Sun Sets at Dawn (1950), and the closing music was from Killer Bait (1949), both films in the public domain. Most of the music and sound effects used in the episode are modified or incomplete versions of the originals.

Music Title: Let Me Call You Sweetheart (I’m in Love With You)
Music by Leo Friedman, lyrics by Beth Slater Whitson, 1910.
Performed by Carter’s Orchestra, 1924.
License: Public Domain
https://archive.org/details/carters-orchestra-let-me-call-you-sweetheart-brunswick-3541-b

Sound Effect Title: R30-28-Classic Thunder Clap.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/486273/ 

Sound Effect Title: S23-19 Thunder claps; variation edit of Universal’s “Castle Thunder”.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/675991/ 

Sound Effect Title: G46-06-Treble-Heavy Thunder Crack.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/438743/ 

Sound Effect Title: G28-27-Crowd Fast Walla Applause.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/438387/

Sound Effect Title: chugging diesel (bus) and rev.MP3
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/CraftyIndividual/sounds/418436/

Sound Effect Title: bus coach ext pull up brake air release idle.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/kyles/sounds/454420/

Sound Effect Title: Bus Closing Door
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/am7/sounds/520753/

Sound Effect Title: DoorKnockerVarious.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/136544/

Sound Effect Title: Creaking door
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/333929/ 

Sound Effect Title: Creaking Door
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/709418/ 

Sound Effect Title: Slam door.MP3
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/SoundsForHim/sounds/395653/

Sound Effect Title: Footsteps Dress Shoes Wood Floor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/allrealsound/sounds/161756/

Sound Effect Title: Cutlery drawer
License: Public Domain
http://soundbible.com/591-Cutlery-Drawer.html

Sound Effect Title: Glass Bottle Breaking
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/IENBA/sounds/607910/

Sound Effect Title: S10-19 Falling wooden beam; big interior crash; house collapses; long.wav
by craigsmith
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/675967/ 

Sound Effect Title: Foley_Footsteps_ShedWoodenFloor.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/s/523273/ 

Sound Effect Title: 175bpm_classical_running_freak.wav
By giacomelli
License: Creative Commons Sampling+
https://freesound.org/s/95763/ 

Sound Effect Title: TUBE POP.wav
By sandyrb
License: Creative Commons Attribution 4.0
https://freesound.org/s/102540/

Sound Effect Title: R27-20-Small Crowd Gasps.wav
License: Public Domain
https://freesound.org/people/craigsmith/sounds/480774/

The image accompanying this episode is a modified detail of the cover of the public domain comic book This Magazine is Haunted, Number 9, February 1953. Artist might be Sheldon Moldoff.

Direct MP3 link