Optophobia
46 episodes
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Creator: Solar Driftwood
Full cast Satire and Spoof Serial Audio Drama
Synopsis:
Optophobia is the fear of opening one’s eyes. Our show is dedicated to encouraging you — our listeners — to move beyond that fear. To solve riddles they don’t want us to unriddle. To investigate supposedly ironclad truths. To unearth evidence, buried for so long they believed it would stay buried. Each season we tackle a new investigation into what is often dismissively called a “conspiracy theory,” and each week a new guest weighs in. Are you bored by the lies? Open your eyes.
Language: English
Format: Audio Drama
Continuity: Serial
Writing: Scripted
Voices: Full cast
Narrator: None
Genres: Satire and Spoof
Framing device: Show within a show
Soundscape: Voices only
Completion status: Partial
Not tagged: [Maturity] [Creator demographics] [Character demographics] [Country of origin] [Transcript] [Content warnings]
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Episodes:
Wed, 04 Sep 2019 10:00:00 -0400
In 1965, the U.S. Army Security Agency began a secret U.S. intelligence project on a shuttered military base in the Horn of Africa called Kagnew Station. The project — codenamed STONEHOUSE — included two 15-story parabolic antennas that made for optimal for stable military radio communications during the Cold War. Declassified Defense Department documents show, however, that for the next decade the true purpose of STONEHOUSE was to intercept Soviet space research data. But is that all the U.S. was keeping secret at Kagnew Station?
The world is demonstrably not the way it’s portrayed to us. On this podcast, we’re in search of facts obscured by a web of “official” narratives pushed by shady organizations intent on attaining obscure, malevolent goals.
Each season, we’ll tackle a new investigation into what many dismissively call a “conspiracy theory.” Our co-hosts are experts on each season’s investigation. And every week, a new guest — scientists, historians, ex-dictators, intelligence officers and everyday people — will join us to discuss their startling, often groundbreaking, research.
Our first stop: Kagnew Station outside of Asmara, Eritrea and about 50 miles from the Red Sea.
See you there, on September 30.
CREDITS:
Featuring the vocal pizzazz of Liz Sanders, Jamal Newman, Erin Murray, Eva Lewis, Saleh Karaman and Kristina Martinez
Music by Bart Warshaw
Cover art by Claire Smalley
S1Ep1 | Meet Season One's Co-hosts
Mon, 30 Sep 2019 05:00:00 -0400
We introduce the show's Season One co-hosts: Hassan Gray, a Verizon Fios sales analyst and host of the "Not My Problem" podcast & Debra, former host of the syndicated radio program "Debra," and author of "I Can't Go for Mind Control (No Can Do): Hall, Oates and the Soviet Roots of Blue-Eyed Soul" available in free-thinking bookstores everywhere.
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Credits:
Liz Sanders played Debra. Liz performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble.
Jamal Newman played Hasaan Gray. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S1Ep2 | Virginity Lost-and-Found in the Danakil Depression
Mon, 30 Sep 2019 05:00:00 -0400
Our guest this week, Theodore Kettle, grew up in the privileged world of 1980s international diplomacy. As the son of the UK ambassador in Addis Ababa, Kettle stumbled upon a hard-partying music scene in east Africa's Great Rift Valley, considered the "cradle of humankind," where he lost his virginity to a Russian-speaking beauty named Olga. Or did he?
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Credits:
Saleh Karaman played Theodore Kettle. Saleh performs with Nox and Colossus, usually at the Washington Improv Theater. Follow him on Instagram at @cirquedusalad.
Liz Sanders played Debra. Liz performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S1Ep3 | Cleopatra 2: The Mind Hug
Mon, 07 Oct 2019 05:00:00 -0400
After starring as Girl With Beach Ball in 1965's "Beach Blanket Bingo" and Girl Near Jukebox in 1973's "American Graffiti," Meredith Crossings found herself on the set of "Cleopatra 2" filming near Kagnew Station. During a night spent under the stars with a herd of goats, Crossings received a mysterious message that ultimately forced her to leave her parents' Hollywood dreams for her behind.
CREDITS:
Catch Kristina Martinez on the improv stage in Washington, DC, and follow her on Instagram at @kmtheshow.
Jamal Newman performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. Follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S1Ep4 | The Earthquake That Released the Voice of God
Mon, 14 Oct 2019 05:00:00 -0400
Librarian Sylvia Brown discusses her research into a mid-1970s north Africa earthquake that unleashed what many have since called "the voice of God." The quake triggered a mass, 48-hour bout of glossolalia, or speaking in tongues, across much of Eritrea. The U.S. government harnessed that energy and still deploys it on Americans today when, for instance, they're deciding whether or not to eat at Ruby Tuesday's.
***
Credits:
Eva Lewis played Sylvia Brown. Eva performs with Press Play, White Privilege Black Power, Lena Dunham, NIXON and Colossus. Follow her on Instagram at @evarlewis.
Jamal Newman played Hasaan Gray. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
Visit us at optophobia.org
S1Ep5 | The Groundhogs Are Coming For Our Teeth
Mon, 21 Oct 2019 05:00:00 -0400
Before Tabitha Walton worked in Warren, Connecticut’s only occult museum, she spent years as a dental hygienist in Washington, DC. It was in the office of Dr. Stephen C. Hopkins, DMD that she discovered a horrifying coincidence: Many of Hopkins’s patients had worked on Kagnew’s STONEHOUSE project. And they were hearing voices. And then their teeth began to disintegrate.
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Credits:
Erin Murray played Tabitha Walton. Erin performs on Washington Improv Theater house ensemble Madeline. She can also be seen on indie teams The Lodge, Cruz Control and November performances of "In Lieu of Flowers." Check out her Instagram @eurniebmurray for upcoming shows.
Liz Sanders played Debra. Liz also performs with Madeline, and can also be seen in "In Lieu of Flowers."
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S1Ep6 | The Farmer's Almanac Connection
Mon, 28 Oct 2019 05:00:00 -0400
In 1975, Gary Belt and his brother were stationed at Kagnew when Gary’s brother was beamed in the face with a space laser from the STONEHOUSE antennas. Gary, now a ghost writer at the Farmer’s Almanac, believes the content of his brother’s brain was the first of thousands that STONEHOUSE sucked into a mysterious black box, a massive database we now call ... The Internet.
***
Credits:
Kevin Mahoney played Gary Belt. Kevin performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble. Follow him on Instagram at @kev_mahoney.
Liz Sanders played Debra. Liz also performs with Madeline.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
Mon, 04 Nov 2019 05:00:00 -0500
After a traumatic childhood audition for "Oliver!" that blacked out his community theater, Dan Hammer had a feeling someone, or some thing, was controlling the world's electronic grid. Despite his conviction that STONEHOUSE was the cause of every bad thing that happened in his life, Dan persevered with his acting career. And he found love. Tragically, electronics found her too.
***
Credits:
Reaves McElveen played Dan Hammer. Reaves performs with his teams NIXON and Colossus at various improv theaters in Washington, DC.
Jamal Newman played Hassan Gray. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S1Ep8 | Father's Father Devoured by the Father of Lies
Mon, 11 Nov 2019 05:00:00 -0500
When Father Richard Thomas’s dad was stationed at Kagnew, he found that STONEHOUSE was concealing a supernatural government discovery: the Gates of Hell. And he succumbed to the Prince of Darkness. When the U.S. Navy officer finally returned to San Diego, his own son was forced to perform a secret exorcism.
***
Credits:
Mikey Blunschi played Father Richard Thomas. Mikey performs with Lizard Girl at Washington Improv Theater. Follow him on Instagram at @Boyz_Nite or Twitter at @pizzapartymikey.
Liz Sanders played Debra. Liz performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S1Ep9 | East is West. Up is Down. Grief is Love.
Mon, 18 Nov 2019 05:00:00 -0500
What if everything you thought you knew about your orientation on this planet was wrong? Not just wrong, but exactly 180 degrees wrong. Kim Ingram, a talent scout from Mustardton, SC, believes the STONEHOUSE antennas are actually powerful magnets designed by the government to disrupt the way we think about directions, injecting chaos and confusion into society as a way to make us more docile. That stop sign ahead of you? It really means "go."
***
Credits:
Krystal Ramseur played Kim Ingram. Krystal performs at Washington Improv Theater with ensemble teams Hellcat and Lena Dunham. Follow her on instagram at @speshlkram.
Jamal Newman played Hassan Gray. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S1Ep10 | From Cupcakes to Landscapes to Kagnew
Mon, 25 Nov 2019 05:00:00 -0500
Cupcake designer Nancy Schwan was playing Scrabble with her boyfriend one romantic evening, when her tiles came up "Kagnew." It happened again the following night, and soon the owner of Nancy's Fancies was obsessed with painting watercolors of beautiful African desert landscapes she'd never seen before.
***
Credits:
Jenny Koch played Nancy Schwan. Jenny performs with DC-based improv teams, The Quitters and The Lodge.
Liz Sanders played Debra. Liz performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S1Ep11 | Bobert's Babylon by Bus
Mon, 02 Dec 2019 05:00:00 -0500
In 1979 Convoy Jack Lafarge, legendary roadie for psychedelic San Francisco bands of the 1960s, found himself driving the bus for Bob Marley's 1979 tour of Africa. After the Wailers' final show in Addis Ababa, Marley insisted on recording an all-star synth-pop album in a mysterious studio he'd heard about: Kagnew Station.
***
Credits:
Luke Hennig played Convoy Jack Lafarge. Luke performs with The Lodge, a legendary Washington, DC indie improv team.
Jamal Newman played Hassan Gray. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S1Ep12 | Olga Shimmers On the Sea
Mon, 09 Dec 2019 05:00:00 -0500
Terry Timmons was cruise director aboard Shimmer of the Seas, Royal Caribbean's Indian Ocean flagship, in the early 1980s. Each time Timmons and his crewmates began responding to mysterious Russian transmissions — likely from the STONEHOUSE project antennas — they lost consciousness and woke up unharmed in their bunks.
***
Credits:
Denny Johnson played Terry Timmons. Denny performs with Ugh, an all-gay improv troupe in DC, often seen at Washington Improv Theatre. He also just launched a new talk show, “Wake Up, Late, with Denny and Kate” — America’s only nighttime morning show — at Colony Club in Washington.
Liz Sanders played Debra. Liz performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S1Ep13 | Stonehouse Is Stonestraw? Zero Stars!
Mon, 16 Dec 2019 05:00:00 -0500
In the season finale, we learn the truth about what was really going on at Kagnew Station, and what STONEHOUSE was for. Debra and Hassan have a hard time coming to terms with the hard evidence as it’s presented to them by Victor Sifuentes.
***
Credits:
Liz Sanders played Debra. Liz performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble.
Jamal Newman played Hassan Gray. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
Season 2: "Deep State" | Trailer
Tue, 21 Jan 2020 15:00:00 -0500
The deep state is real. And it’s just that — a 51st state, hidden from the American people and unacknowledged by the federal government, even as it pulls Washington's most important levers. How do you hide an entire state? You bury it. Deep.
***
Credits:
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S2Ep1 | Gisele Bündchen Speaks the Latin of the Pigs
Mon, 03 Feb 2020 05:00:00 -0500
In our Season 2 opener, we meet co-hosts and deep state experts Muriel Woland and Clifford Hanger. Muriel discusses how she came to write the Deep State anthem in exchange for a couple of the Shovelmen's first-born. And Ford remembers an event from his childhood in which Gisele Bündchen saved his parents' marriage. And his foreskin.
***
Credits:
Liz Sanders played Muriel Wolland. Liz performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble.
Jamal Newman played Clifford Hanger. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S2Ep2 | The Mole People Elite Are the 1% (for mole people)
Mon, 10 Feb 2020 05:00:00 -0500
Martina Kratchlekov has worked in the New York City subway system since she was 16, and along the way she picked up information about its permanent residents: the Mole People. In the 20th century, the elite class of this underground society used parliamentary procedure and ranked-choice voting, according to Kratchlekov. Its leaders have since tunneled west to run the Deep State.
***
Credits:
Molly Graham played Martina Kratchlekov. Molly performs around DC in iMusical (@imusical_improv) and The Quitters (@thequittersdc). You can also catch her onstage with Story District (@storydistrict)
Jamal Newman played Clifford Hanger. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S2Ep3 | Will Trade Custodian Duties For Ayahuasca
Mon, 17 Feb 2020 05:00:00 -0500
What WOULDN'T you do for family? Like, for instance, your beloved aunt who moved "out west" to live on the land and participate in ayahuasca ceremonies until she ran out of money so had to take a job as a cleaning lady in a vast underground bunker somewhere in maybe southern Wyoming, and some vapors or fumes or just plain soot got in her lungs and ... Amber Hudgins makes the class action case against the Deep State on behalf of her beloved Aunt Krystal.
***
Credits:
Georgina Gustin played Amber Hudgins. Follow her on Twitter at @georgina_gustin.
Liz Sanders played Muriel Wolland. Liz performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S2Ep4 | The Dead Are The Message From Below
Mon, 24 Feb 2020 10:00:00 -0500
Bodies are washing ashore along the banks of the Potomac, each with a mysterious "SUFTDS" painted in red across their chests. Washington News Paper reporter Sacha Miller has a theory: some Deep State residents are sending their children to the surface to save them. But there are others in the Deep State who would do anything to keep those children silent.
***
Credits:
Adam Levine played Sacha Miller. Adam performs improv whenever he can, wherever he can. Find him posting things probably only he finds funny on Facebook. Reach out to him at theadamlevine@gmail.com if you want to be notified about his shows.
Jamal Newman played Clifford Hanger. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
Mon, 02 Mar 2020 05:00:00 -0500
Even Deep State bureaucrats need the occasional morale boost. But after an hour-long, Propofol-nourished elevator ride, employee engagement consultant Vikki Ganders was as surprised as anyone to find herself leading trust fall, rope course and rap circle exercises in the 51st state.
***
Credits:
Clare Mulligan played Vikki Ganders. Clare performs with Hellcat at Washington Improv Theater. Follow her on Twitter at @kuhlayer.
Liz Sanders played Muriel Wolland. Liz performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S2Ep6 | Don't Forget to Smell the Sexy, Sexy Roses
Mon, 09 Mar 2020 20:00:00 -0400
One of America's pre-eminent asexual philosopher-OB/GYNs, Dr. Bert Flapp fled the life of a Manhattan One Percenter to join Doctors Without Borders. A logistics mixup sent him instead to the Deep State where he spent six years delivering the babies of those who control the U.S. federal government. His agreement to leave included a clause in which he promised to smuggle out one baby and send it over Niagara Falls in a barrel to wipe its Deep State memories.
***
Credits:
Greg Tindale played Dr. Bert Flapp. Greg Tindale has performed at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theaters in New York and Los Angeles, The Second City in Chicago, The Sydney Comedy Fest in Sydney, Australia, and The Bentzen Ball Comedy Fest. His improv duo White Privilege Black Power was a finalist in the Comedy Central, Yes And Laughter Lab competition. Greg's comedic memoir, "I Guarantee You Love, Fame and Legacy" is available for purchase on Amazon. Follow him on Twitter, Instagram or visit his website GregTindale.com.
Jamal Newman played Clifford Hanger. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S2Ep7 | Mary Todd Lincoln's Hands Were Enormous
Mon, 16 Mar 2020 05:00:00 -0400
In 1943, Colonel Leslie R. Groves recruited 2-year-old math whiz kid Henry "Count 'Em Up" Kelly to be part of the Manhattan Project. After going on to help with the reconstruction of Europe at age 5, Kelly found himself in the Deep State (District Mary Todd), where he would eventually become CFO. But a whistleblowing episode got him banished in the 1990s, and now all Kelly wants is to find his find the secret passage back home.
***
Credits:
Bam Alston played Henry Kelly. Bam performs with Washington Improv Theater house ensemble Lena Dunham. Follow him on Instagram at @bam.gram.
Liz Sanders played Muriel Wolland. Liz performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S2Ep8 | Those People...Sure Are Nostalgic
Tue, 24 Mar 2020 19:00:00 -0400
Misa Rose, hand model and owner of West Virginia photography studio Brighter Days, made a startling discovery as she began delivering negatives of her old-timey shoots to the Deep State. Its citizens are psychologically mired in the 19th century, and — seized by nostalgia — long for the days of petticoats, ruffles, flounces, top hats, waistcoats and Piccadilly Weepers.
***
Credits:
Simone Webster played Misa Rose. Simone performs in Washington DC with I Don't Know Her (@idontknowherimprov), Hellcat, and Founding Fathers. Follow her on Instagram at @callmemissimoney.
Jamal Newman played Clifford Hanger. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S2Ep9 | Mattress King of the Dells
Mon, 11 May 2020 08:00:00 -0400
Mike Hightower knows a thing or two about being the best at something. The king of mattress sales in the Wisconsin Dells knows more than just antimicrobial treatments, memory foam gel and edge guards. Hightower knows all about the Deep State's anti-aging technology, developed to train — and keep — experts in various functions within the Constitutional State government. Think prodigies are actually children?
***
Credits:
Neil Baron played Mike Hightower. Neil performs with The Broken Bones, Goodison, and Doggington S. Wanderson. Follow him on Instagram @neirl.
Liz Sanders played Muriel Wolland. Liz performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S2Ep10 | My Chicken, My Friend
Mon, 18 May 2020 05:00:00 -0400
When you grow up on a farm in the Blue Ridge mountains, two things are assured. 1) You’ll become a great swimmer, and 2) You’ll be best friends with a chicken you’ve named after yourself. Charlie (Donna Steele) was no exception, and when she grew up, she took her athletic expertise to the Deep State to train elite American athletes using medieval torture methods.
***
Credits:
Donna Steele played Charlie. Donna performs with Hellcat and Colossus. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.
Jamal Newman played Clifford Hanger. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. Follow him on Instagram and Twitter, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S2Ep11 | Ballad of The Thin Guy
Mon, 25 May 2020 05:00:00 -0400
When Erica Knudsen inherited a massive thrift store off Highway 11 near Henderson, Nev., she had no idea she’d be immersed in a culture of cryptids, tulpas and creepypastas. But then The Thin Guy, one of her own online creations, came to life and with the help of Deep State legal representation, pursued her for copyright and trademark infringement.
***
Credits:
Jasmine Jiang played Erica Knudsen. Jasmine performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theatre house ensemble. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @shut_up_jasmine.
Liz Sanders played Muriel Wolland. Liz also performs with Madeline.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S2Ep12 | Here Catfishy, Fishy, Fishy
Mon, 01 Jun 2020 05:00:00 -0400
In the season finale, Dylan Marshall tells co-hosts Muriel Woland and Clifford Hanger how "Optophobia" producers have been duped by listener Todd Snosh.
***
Credits:
Liz Sanders played Muriel Woland. Liz performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble.
Jamal Newman played Clifford Hanger. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S3Ep1 | Ramona, Queen of Sexla
Mon, 20 Jul 2020 05:00:00 -0400
He may have been fired as a top sales associate at Tesla, but Casper Geronimo didn't let that stop his adult film career. In fact, it only enhanced his popularity and gave him a deeper understanding of Elon Musk, who has unleashed Covfefe-19 on this planet as part of a plan to return to his own.
***
Credits:
Patrick Slevin played Casper Geronimo. Patrick performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble. Follow him on Instagram at @pfslevin.
Jamal Newman played Ginno Rommero. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S3Ep2 | The Vampire Bees of Slickpoo
Mon, 27 Jul 2020 05:00:00 -0400
Idaho floral artist Phoebe Shoemaker has seen super spreaders close up. Bees buzz around her store all day, drawing color, vibrancy — LIFE — from her flowers. The danger doesn't come from the bees' sting, but from their honey. Or more precisely, Big Honey executives who have infected the world with Covfefe-19 via their sweet, sticky product.
***
Credits:
Aubrey Peterson played Phoebe Shoemaker. Aubrey performs with Washington Improv Theater ensemble team, The Lineup. Follow her on Instagram at @aubs_olutely
Erin Murray played Peachy Jennings. Erin performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lodge. Follow her on Instagram at @eurniebmurray.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S3Ep3 | Bedknobs, Broomsticks and Gun Jugglers
Mon, 03 Aug 2020 05:00:00 -0400
Famed sharpshooter Nate Drysdale was shopping for ammo at Walmart and summoning to mind scenes of Angela Lansbury fighting Nazis when it hit him: Disney had developed Covfefe-19 as a way to thin out brick-and-mortar retailers to give the company better access to our brainwaves...and our wallets.
***
Credits:
Alex Kazanas played Nate Drysdale. Alex can be heard each week on the Japanese pop culture podcast Toho Yaro, and the One Piece Podcast. Catch him various Saturdays doing live art at Super Art Fight on Twitch. Enjoy his improv follies with his teams TFA, The Sichuan Pepper Daddies, and IRL. Keep an eye out for a project he is co-directing for the Washington Improv Theater, called And Scene! Follow him on Twitter at @DudeExclamation.
Jamal Newman played Ginno Rommero. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S3Ep4 | They're Bricking the Replicants
Mon, 10 Aug 2020 05:00:00 -0400
Exterminator and Little League soccer ref Jammy Bristol has known hard times. As a young exterminator he lived among a community of mice he'd been hired to slaughter, and watched alongside the rest of the mouse family as the materfamilias was devoured by a red-tailed hawk. But nothing could prepare Bristol for the realization that Covfefe-19 was simply Google taking those of us who are replicants back to Mountain View, CA for routine maintenance.
***
Credits:
Ryan Brookshire played Jammy Bristol. Ryan teaches comedic songwriting and musical improv at Washington Improv Theater. He performs with WIT house ensemble iMusical and An Evening with Georgia Tennessee. Follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @correctbehavior.
Erin Murray played Peachy Jennings. Erin performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lodge. Follow her on Instagram at @eurniebmurray.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
Mon, 17 Aug 2020 05:00:00 -0400
People are easier to control when they believe their group’s interests are at odds with another group’s. Suzy Johnson, professor of sociocultural anthropology at U.C. Berkeley, believes the U.S. government — nervous that Americans of all kinds have come together to speak as one against racism and racial injustice — is using Covfefe-19 to re-segregate the country.
***
Credits:
LAUX played Suzy Johnson. She the author of To All The Places I've Had Sex Before out on Amazon and Kobo. Follow her on Instagram at @lauxtheauthor or find her at lauxtheauthor.com.
Jamal Newman played Ginno Rommero. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S3Ep6 | No Footmask, No Service
Mon, 24 Aug 2020 05:00:00 -0400
Al Windjammer, owner of Windjammer Shoes, has a message that seems to contradict the family business: Don't wear shoes. While Windjammer shoes are made of animal byproducts from the family farm, most shoes are made from untraceable, mysterious chemicals that are harbingers for germs and viruses. And because most viruses enter the body through your feet, a shoe of unknown provenance is an invitation for Covfefe-19.
***
Credits:
Stacey Axler played Al Windjammer. Stacey performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and Maple Sunday, a Dojo Comedy house team. Check out her Facebook page at Stacey Axler Comedy.
Erin Murray played Peachy Jennings. Erin performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lodge. Follow her on Instagram at @eurniebmurray.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S3Ep7 | Nuclear Desert Sun Dune
Mon, 31 Aug 2020 05:00:00 -0400
In his work as a missile engineering studying manager, Master Carmichael Carmichaels made a startling discovery. The liquid that Mars is so famous for is actually a "nuclear desert sun dune," which NASA brought back to Earth in gas form and which has now leaked into the population, causing Covfefe-19.
***
Credits:
Darnell Eaton played Master Carmichael Carmichaels. Darnell performs with Washington Improv Theater ensemble team iMusical. Follow him on Instagram at @darnellde
Jamal Newman played Ginno Rommero. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
Mon, 07 Sep 2020 05:00:00 -0400
Gilda Graylore runs the Mystic Horse B&B in Corolla, NC. She's also pretty sure an unseen species, Homo inivisibilien, unleashed Covfefe-19 to rid the planet of its destructive human cousin, Homo sapiens.
***
Credits:
Kelsey Peters played Gilda Graylore. Kelsey performs with Washington Improv Theater teams Uncle Gorgeous and The Broken Bones, and Dojo Comedy house team Maple Sunday. She also co-hosts the “Heavy Flo with Puss and Kooch” podcast. Follow her on Instagram at @kelspeters.
Erin Murray played Peachy Jennings. Erin performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lodge. Follow her on Instagram at @eurniebmurray.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
https://vurbl.com/station/1MDNh9wkjmW/
Season 4: "Relentless" | Trailer
Mon, 04 Jan 2021 05:00:00 -0500
The 1989 Judd Nelson movie “Relentless” seemed like just another bad slasher flick. But director William Lustig included subliminal messages intended to inspire real life, would-be serial killers to begin their sprees.
***
Credits:
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
S4Ep1 | Some Dreamers of the Bloody Dream
Mon, 11 Jan 2021 05:00:00 -0500
Meet our Season 4 cohosts: Lydia Coffeematé worked on the "Relentless" set as a personal assistant to one of its producers. Jeffrey Dalmer works at the last Hollywood Video where he slips "Relentless" DVDs into the bags of unsuspecting customers...at the behest of a mysterious "they."
***
Credits:
Erin Murray played Lydia CoffeeMaté. Erin performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lodge. Follow her on Instagram at @eurniebmurray.
Jamal Newman played Jeffrey Dalmer. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend
Theme music by Bart Warshaw
Cover art by Claire Smalley
Website by Chance Griffin
Website artwork by Nicole Bennett
S4Ep2 | MISSING: Tracy + Judds Nelson, Apatow and Judy (R.I.P.)
Mon, 18 Jan 2021 05:00:00 -0500
Dan Hammer, a community theater actor from upstate New York who told the harrowing tale of his fiancee Tracy's mysterious disappearance in Season 1, has decided to try and remake "Relentless" in a way that "feels more real" by filming it entirely in his mother's house, basement and backyard.
***
Credits:
Reaves McElveen played Dan Hammer. Reaves performs with his improv teams NIXON and Colossus at various improv theaters in DC.
Jamal Newman played Jeffrey Dalmer. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
Website artwork by Nicole Bennett.
S4Ep3 | Never Time the Markets
Mon, 25 Jan 2021 10:01:19 -0500
Lance Bloomberg's father was a big influence on his son. There was the fascination with money and finance that Lance inherited, and there was also the violence. Beaten regularly as a child with an abacus, Lance would eventually teeter between a career in financial analysis and serial murder. Seeing "Relentless" nearly sealed the deal.
***
Credits:
Slli’m Williams played Lance Bloomberg. Slli’m hosts the Enigma Variety show for The Cookout Collective. He performs with Washington Improv Theater ensembles Madeline and Poetic Resistance, along with indie teams Revelry and Earth Wind and Tired. Follow him on Instagram @BigSllim.
Erin Murray played Lydia CoffeeMaté. Erin performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lodge. Follow her on Instagram at @eurniebmurray.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
Website artwork by Nicole Bennett.
Mon, 01 Feb 2021 05:00:00 -0500
Buffalo, NY musician Brad Meglin was playing Black Sabbath covers with his band The Buffalo Soldiers in 1988, when William Lustig inexplicably got up on stage, mid-song, and asked Brad to compose music “that would make people want to kill” for his coming movie, “Relentless.”
***
Credits:
Bryan Jackson played Brad Meglin. Bryan produces “Pod Chef,” a podcast in which he and his co-hosts re-watch “Top Chef” and discuss it episode-by-episode. He also has a new series on the app Rizzle called “Obvious Twilight Zone” with his sketch team Total Smokeshow and is a writer for Pagliacci, part of the sketch comedy collective Boogiemanja. Follow him on Twitter at @notbryanjackson.
Jamal Newman played Jeffrey Dalmer. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
Website artwork by Nicole Bennett.
S4Ep5 | 31 Flavors and a Kick in the Crotch
Mon, 08 Feb 2021 05:00:00 -0500
Baskin-Robbins greeter Alicia Nicely was just minding her own business, trying on a fitted purple sweatshirt at Gap, when she was attacked by a "Relentless"-inspired wanna-be serial killer. As happens in these situations, the attacker — Sarah Pinch — couldn't close the deal. But might there be an army of Sarah Pinches out there, stalking America's retail dressing rooms?
***
Credits:
J.J. Jackson played Alicia Nicely. JJ performs with Press Play, Mystery Scarf and Washington Improv Theater ensemble team Poetic Resistance. She also runs a monthly improv jam for women called Bagelz & Jam.
Erin Murray played Lydia CoffeeMaté. Erin performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lodge. Follow her on Instagram at @eurniebmurray.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
Website artwork by Nicole Bennett.
S4Ep6 | Little Bulbs, Big Dreams
Mon, 15 Feb 2021 05:00:00 -0500
Around the time Darrell Klep first saw "Relentless" in the late 1980s, he also began his career as a farmer. Eventually, he started working weekend farmer's markets, following his customers and sitting in his car outside their homes. Creepy? Yes. Coincidence? Probably not.
***
Credits:
Sean Paul Ellis played Darrell Klep. Sean performs with Washington Improv Theater ensemble team Nox! Check out his podcasts "Saturday Mourning Cartoons" where we reviews cartoons from your childhood with a critical adult lens. And "The Bureau," an improvised FBI podcast. Follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @seanpaulellis.
Jamal Newman played Jeffrey Dalmer. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
Website artwork by Nicole Bennett.
S4Ep7 | With the Intent to Cause Mischief
Mon, 22 Feb 2021 11:43:44 -0500
Growing up on the road alongside her saleswoman mom, Jeri Jones believed she had a serene, peace-loving nature. But then, at 15, she watched "Relentless" and a something savage began stirring inside her. Armed with common household implements as agents of mischief and with a Rolodex she found while Dumpster diving as a guide, her rampage began.
***
Credits:
Jenny Koch played Jeri Jones. Jenny performs with Washington, D.C. improv teams The Quitters and The Lodge.
Erin Murray played Lydia CoffeeMaté. Erin performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lodge. Follow her on Instagram at @eurniebmurray.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
Website artwork by Nicole Bennett.
S4Ep8 | The Thong Song, SisQó and We
Mon, 01 Mar 2021 05:00:00 -0500
Some "Relentless"-inspired would-be serial killers have been celebrities. When Marrissa Horn, a tea shop owner from L.A. began dating SisQó, she had no idea that a visit to Victoria's Secret together would inspire the R&B legend's greatest hit, nor that he might try to use the song as a murder weapon.
***
Credits:
Andrea Quach played Marrissa Horn. Andrea is a member of The Quitters and Washington Improv Theater ensemble team The Lineup. Follow her on Instagram @andy___q.
Jamal Newman played Jeffrey Dalmer. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
Website artwork by Nicole Bennett.
S4Ep9 | The Snack Aisle Strangler
Mon, 08 Mar 2021 05:00:00 -0500
With O'Boisies, Pizzarias, and Tato Skins, flavor architect Rosemary Caraway was winning awards in the 1980s for her work on the Keebler Company’s savory line of snacks. But when the company began favoring its sweet line instead, the “Relentless”-inspired Snack Aisle Strangler struck.
***
Credits:
Erica Johnson played Rosemary Caraway. Erica performs with Washington Improv Theater house ensemble Lena Dunham.
Erin Murray played Lydia CoffeeMaté. Erin performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lodge. Follow her on Instagram at @eurniebmurray.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
Website artwork by Nicole Bennett.
S4Ep10 | Hollywood Video® Loses a Legend
Mon, 15 Mar 2021 05:00:00 -0400
In the Season 4 finale, co-hosts Lydia CoffeeMaté and Jeffrey Dalmer discuss what we've learned after a deep dive into the story behind the 1989 Judd Nelson serial killer film, "Relentless." In airing his theory about "Relentless" director William Lustig's connection to mind control program MK-Ultra, Dalmer puts himself in the CIA's crosshairs, with dire results.
***
Credits:
Erin Murray played Lydia CoffeeMaté. Erin performs with Madeline, a Washington Improv Theater house ensemble, and The Lodge. Follow her on Instagram at @eurniebmurray.
Jamal Newman played Jeffrey Dalmer. Jamal performs with Lena Dunham and NIXON. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter at @hell0newman, and find him at jamalnewman.com.
Produced by Tim Townsend.
Theme music by Bart Warshaw.
Cover art by Claire Smalley.
Website by Chance Griffin.
Website artwork by Nicole Bennett.