Tales of Nowhere
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Creator: Copernicus Stratt
Full cast Fantasy Longform Audio RPG
Synopsis:
Join us every other Wednesday as we make our way through multiple Tabletop RPGs to tell the story of four charismatic heroes seeking to repair the multiverse. It's a journey of epic proportions that will keep you laughing as you piece together the mystery of the world, the characters, and most importantly, that extra-dimensional Coffee Shop known as Cafe Nowhere.
Format: Audio RPG
RPG system: Multiple
Continuity: Longform
Voices: Cast
Genres: Fantasy
Completion status: Partial
Not tagged: [Maturity] [Creator demographics] [Character demographics] [Country of origin] [Transcript] [Content warnings]
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Episodes:
Wed, 04 Dec 2024 12:19:00 +0000
Jules comes to terms with who she is and her place in the multiverse while reuniting with old friends and figuring out what the heck is next for the Janiteers.
S2E78 - Through the Wish Engine, and What Jules Found There
Thu, 21 Nov 2024 12:00:00 +0000
In the aftermath of the attack, Jules deals with the losses while the gang heads off to find a mysterious artifact known as the Wish Engine. And sometimes for some reason the Wish Machine.
Wed, 06 Nov 2024 11:31:00 +0000
With the city of Orrila suddenly under attack, the Janiteers take up arms to help those in need and fight the giant gross black monster in the sky.
Thu, 24 Oct 2024 23:15:00 +0000
The Janiteers find themselves in the big city after a plan is enacted to fix the Jewel once and for all. Get ready for thrills, chills, and abominations the likes of which have only ever been seen at...Snapapple's Traveling Menagerie and Soaring Circus!
Wed, 09 Oct 2024 10:51:00 +0000
As King Detritus regails the Janiteers with his tragic backstory, they make their way through the Jewel to enact a crazy plan with the help of Darwin and Darloft. Cookies.
S2E74 - A Gentleman Finds Out, But Never Tells
Wed, 11 Sep 2024 10:45:00 +0000
The great delve adventure continues, as the Infiniteers find themselves in a strangely familiar location: ...high school? That's weird. Well anyway, some crazy stuff happens and then they have to escape before the dread eats them.
S2E73 - Delve in Sixty Minutes
Wed, 28 Aug 2024 10:34:00 +0000
It's a race against the clock as the Janiteers delve head-first into an ancient ruin in search for a cypher that could save the Jewel from the Dread's destruction...Man, that description won't make any sense if you haven't heard the last few episodes.
Wed, 14 Aug 2024 10:57:00 +0000
Boarding the subway (or is it a train?), the Janiteers learn more about the small community they've apparently decided to join. Then they fight some stuff.
Wed, 17 Jul 2024 10:31:00 +0000
The Janiteers arrive in a brand new world, one that's been around the block a few times. In a strange place called the Cold Desert, they must figure out how to play by a whole new set of rules.
Wed, 03 Jul 2024 15:06:00 +0000
The fight for Nowhere continues as the Janiteers do battle with a massive crystal creature, then face an even bigger, more terrifying challenge: Diplomacy.
Wed, 19 Jun 2024 11:25:00 +0000
Back in Nowhere, the Janiteers and a wandering Infiniteer have the chance to explore the now bustling train station and decide who around them is worth trusting.
S2E68 - Definitley Not A Furiosa Ripoff
Wed, 05 Jun 2024 11:34:00 +0000
A rescue mission turns into an all-out arena brawl in a pit of rust and metal with a healthy dose of family bickering. What else did you expect when Hondo comes back?
S2E67 - The Folly of Post-Apocalyptic Fashions
Wed, 22 May 2024 11:58:00 +0000
Sandstorms, explosions, and dangerous car stunts keep the Janiteers from discovering what exactly is going on as they traverse the wasteland on an epic mission to rescue...someone? Maybe?
Wed, 24 Apr 2024 11:50:00 +0000
Ready to go behind the bar in this optional episode and find out what everyone thought of Season 2's Shadow of the Demonlord arc? How did we think we could get away with time travel? How will we feel about Rothdamona now that everything's all said and done? The answers to your burning questions will be answered and more in this Tales of Nowhere Happy Hour, because it's five o' clock somewhere!
Wed, 10 Apr 2024 11:09:00 +0000
The Janiteers finally catch up with time itself, as the moment of truth arrives and Rothdamona helps Dee make a decision about their future within the multiverse.
Wed, 27 Mar 2024 11:12:00 +0000
After an arguably heroic savior moment, Bash finds himself...somewhere else, as the other Janiteers entirely lose control over this whole situation.
S2E64 - Under the Hollow Hamburger Bun of Doom
Wed, 13 Mar 2024 11:51:00 +0000
Uncovering an ancient cavern in the heart of the Shield Mountains brings more trouble than previously thought as Sebastian finds a new friend and Rothdamona thinks she's melting.
Wed, 28 Feb 2024 11:43:00 +0000
The Janiteers journey into the depths of the Shield Mountains, to meet with the Dwarven City leaders and once again irrevocably alter history. Oops.
Wed, 14 Feb 2024 12:10:00 +0000
Rothdamona makes her way back home, as Stonewall prepares for their upcoming pilgrimage.
S2E61 - The Glass Grape Fallacy
Wed, 31 Jan 2024 12:35:00 +0000
Dee Dee and Bash totally know where they're going and don't get lost at all. Henry and Bejeweled hang out in the library. Everyone forgets.
Wed, 17 Jan 2024 12:00:00 +0000
During a routine dungeon crawl, the Janiteers finds that...well, turns out there's no such thing as a routine dungeon crawl in this universe.
Rerun of The Tales of Nowhere Mother's Day Special
Wed, 03 Jan 2024 12:33:00 +0000
To remember those no longer with us, here's a trip down memory lane, all the way back to 2018 when the cast behind the Infiniteers teamed up with their moms for an unforgettable adventure.
S2 Bonus - A Very Special Nowhere Christmas (Album)
Mon, 25 Dec 2023 04:31:00 +0000
Don't wait! Grab your copy of this very special Nowhere Christmas Album today and celebrate this holiday season across the entire multiverse!
Wed, 06 Dec 2023 12:27:00 +0000
There was a small cave incident, and now the Janiteers find themselves back on top of a familiar mountain peak. Did someone go 88 miles per hour?
S2E58 - Escape From The City of Wonders
Wed, 22 Nov 2023 12:51:00 +0000
Turns out, leaving a city known for insane magicians and chaotic magic isn't exactly a cakewalk. Also, is anybody else cold in here?
Wed, 08 Nov 2023 12:09:00 +0000
The Janiteers make their way through the land of Shadow of the Demonlord on an urgent quest to reclaim a piece of silverware.
S2E56 - Terror in Stonewall Keep
Wed, 25 Oct 2023 11:46:00 +0000
As DeeDee revists her hometown, troubling emotions boil to the surface. Also troubling giant monsters.
S2E55 - There's No Place Like Home
Wed, 11 Oct 2023 10:51:00 +0000
DeeDee returns home, and everything's different. Her, the world, her village, the other Janiteers, that weird thing in the sky. It's all just different, okay?
Wed, 27 Sep 2023 10:01:00 +0000
The Janiteers decide on their next step, and in doing so, are pulled into an important mission with an entire universe at stake.
Wed, 13 Sep 2023 11:32:00 +0000
Ready to go behind the bar in this optional episode and find out what everyone thought of Season 2's 51st Episode Spectacular arc? How did the cast like returning to their Season 1 characters? Was everything planned ahead or improvised? Did they ruin everything by bringing them back? The answers to your burning questions will be answered and more in this Tales of Nowhere Happy Hour, because it's five o' clock somewhere!
S2E53 - The 51st Episode Spectacular, Part Three: Contingency Plan
Wed, 30 Aug 2023 10:18:00 +0000
Part Three. Deep in the bowels of the Exile of Fate, the Janiteers conclude their dive into a strange hologram recording showing the original group of Infiniteers and the end of their hail mary plan to eliminate a new threat in the multiverse.
S2E52 - The 51st Episode Spectacular, Part Two: Pulling a Hondo
Wed, 16 Aug 2023 10:50:00 +0000
Part Two. Deep in the bowels of the Exile of Fate, the Janiteers continue to dive into a strange hologram recording showing the original group of Infiniteers and their hail mary plan to eliminate a new threat in the multiverse.
S2E51 - The 51st Episode Spectacular, Part One: Flashback
Wed, 02 Aug 2023 10:46:00 +0000
Deep in the bowels of the Exile of Fate, the Janiteers dive into a strange hologram recording showing the original group of Infiniteers and their hail mary plan to eliminate a new threat in the multiverse.
Wed, 19 Jul 2023 11:27:00 +0000
After finding themselves in a strange theme park modeled after the exploits of the original Infiniteers, the Janiteers battle their way to the Exile of Fate as they continue to search for answers.
Wed, 05 Jul 2023 10:53:00 +0000
With Nowhere in chaos, the Janiteers set out on a mission to locate the mysterious Writer using an old corridor known only as the Hall of Doors.
Wed, 07 Jun 2023 11:25:00 +0000
A lot's changed in Nowhere since the Janiteers were there last. What surprises await them? How is the old gang doing? And what will they do with some much needed time off?
Thu, 25 May 2023 23:26:00 +0000
Ready to go behind the bar in this optional episode and find out what everyone thought of Season 2's Things from the Flood arc? How did the cast like returning to the world of Tales from the Loop ten years later? Did they have any fun at all!? The answers to your burning questions will be answered and more in this Tales of Nowhere Happy Hour, because it's five o' clock somewhere!
S2E47 - The Second Battle of Cankywampus
Wed, 10 May 2023 10:43:00 +0000
With a massive rift open in this universe, there's only one thing to do...try to close it before they all die. So the Janiteers gear up and do what they do best: try.
Wed, 26 Apr 2023 10:49:00 +0000
Deep in the tunnels beneath Boulder, the gang uncovers a shocking conspiracy. Plus, Ramona grows a moustache.
Wed, 12 Apr 2023 11:19:00 +0000
The Janiteers chat over pizza, meet someone new, then deal with a boatload of emotional and physical trauma.
S2E44 - The Man Behind The Dragon
Wed, 29 Mar 2023 11:40:00 +0000
While galavanting around the wrong side of a portal, the Janiteers find a little cabin in the woods. Knock Knock.
S2E43 - Back to Where We Never Were
Wed, 15 Mar 2023 11:00:00 +0000
The Janiteers find themselves treading familiar ground on a Saturday afternoon, with familiar faces they've never met.
S2E42 - The Valentine's Day (Emotional) Massacre
Wed, 01 Mar 2023 12:47:00 +0000
It's Valentine's Day! Do you have a date to the dance? It'd be crazy if you did, cause this is a podcast. But our favorite crew of teenage misfits are headed back to school on a Friday night and things are about to get...super weird.
Wed, 15 Feb 2023 12:30:00 +0000
Have a seat and get ready for a day in the life of a teen living in Boulder, Colorado in 1997...in a weird alternate universe with robots and extradimensional technology. The Janiteers investigate the disappearance of a missing teen in order to save the Valentine's Day dance!
S2E40 - Teen Girl Squad (and Bastion)
Wed, 01 Feb 2023 13:13:00 +0000
It's time to return to the Season 2 story and rejoin the Janiteers back in Nowhere as they prepare to go on an all-new adventure! They end up somewhere familiar yet different, and discover friendly faces, old rivalries and a whole new mess to clean up. I know that description is vague but I'm trying to avoid spoilers, okay?
Wed, 18 Jan 2023 12:24:00 +0000
Ready to go behind the bar in this optional episode and find out what everyone thought of our wild and wacky Interdimensional Six Pack Event? And what the next RPG we visit will be? The answers to your burning questions will be answered and more in this Tales of Nowhere Happy Hour, because it's five o' clock somewhere!
S2 Bonus - The Tales of Nowhere New Year's Special
Wed, 04 Jan 2023 12:14:00 +0000
A New Year's Eve party in Nowhere turns into a universe hopping adventure for the Janiteers in this proseful celebration of the New Year Holiday.
SIX PACK VI - The Best of Three Worlds
Wed, 21 Dec 2022 12:06:00 +0000
Part Six of Six. The final battle begins, as the crew of the Valkyrie prepare to close the rifts for good. Sit back, relax, and enjoy. It's time to pop open the last can of this six pack.
SIX PACK V - Cowboys and Warp Cores
Wed, 07 Dec 2022 12:34:00 +0000
Part Five of Six. Finally back home, the crew of the Valkyrie adjusts to life with their new crewmates and without the old, a few weeks after their return.
SIX PACK IV - The Fall of the Wexler Dynasty
Wed, 23 Nov 2022 12:39:00 +0000
Part Four of Six. The gothic nightmare continues as the crew of the Valkyrie attempts to find out more about their missing ship, and escape this universe with their lives.
SIX PACK III - Crania Levitatus et Immolatum Avis
Wed, 09 Nov 2022 11:54:00 +0000
Part Three of Six. Entering an entirely new universe, the crew of the Valkyrie must leave their morals at the Teleportarium when they're thrust into a Gothic Nightmare.
SIX PACK II - The Rocket and The Rift
Wed, 26 Oct 2022 12:13:00 +0000
Part Two of Six. The crew of the Valkyrie continues their search for their lost crew and their lost universe as they head to the Orange Islands on a fun Pokemon adventure.
SIX PACK I - Of Synthehol and Scyther
Wed, 12 Oct 2022 12:35:00 +0000
Part One of Six. Join us for a standalone story set in the world of Tales of Nowhere! We're taking a new team of Starfleet officers on an adventure to where only some people have gone before: the wonderful world of Pokemon!
Tales of Nowhere Presents: The Interdimensional Six Pack - Official Trailer
Wed, 28 Sep 2022 14:57:00 +0000
Never heard of Tales of Nowhere before? This is the perfect place to start. A standalone story diving into some of your favorite universes (Pokémon, Star Trek, Warhammer 40K), with all-new characters in an absolutely insane six episode arc.
The Interdimensional Six Pack kicks off October 12th.
S2E39 - The Sensational Stadium!
Wed, 31 Aug 2022 11:47:52 +0000
After heading back to Nowhere, the Janiteers get some time to themselves before heading off into the unknown to retrieve another artifact for Donovan. Who can smell now.
Wed, 17 Aug 2022 11:34:27 +0000
Ready to go behind the bar in this optional episode and find out what everyone thought of Season 2's 7th Sea Arc? The answers to your burning questions, including what's next for Season 2, will be answered in this Tales of Nowhere Happy Hour, because it's five o' clock somewhere!
S2E38 - The Graham Cracker Scream
Wed, 03 Aug 2022 11:01:27 +0000
Alright, it's time. Time to save Castille, the New World, Thea, and every magic user on the planet. Time to close that rift. Time to fight, win, and say goodbye. Today, the Janiteers are leaving this world. One way or another.
Wed, 20 Jul 2022 11:22:53 +0000
You know that whole concept of time thing? Try not to think about it too much, this one gets pretty wild. But the important part is, Sebastian has finally found his mother, and might even have a way back to Castille.
Wed, 06 Jul 2022 11:06:51 +0000
The Janiteers have 30 minutes to make it off of the High Inquisitor's ship before the pirates start blastin'. But there are so many secrets to discover, a minor uprising to start, and a few fights to...fight. Will they make it in time? Probably not.
S2E35 - Big Pete You're My Best Friend
Wed, 22 Jun 2022 11:52:04 +0000
Of the many tales that were told of that day, none could hope to measure up to the one concerning Dee and his unending, inexplicable friendship with Big Pete. Also Sebastian maybe finding his mom, finally.
Wed, 08 Jun 2022 11:44:24 +0000
It doesn't normally take this long to fall out of a tower. But after that mess is taken care of, the gang decides how exactly they're going to find this dang pirate treasure everyone forgot about.
S2E33 - You Can Go Home Again, But It'll Be Weird
Wed, 25 May 2022 11:48:41 +0000
Sebastian returns home to the surprise of anyone who thought he was dead this whole time, and then he decides how he wants to handle the Inquisition.
S2E32 - On A Choo Choo Train Through Hell
Wed, 11 May 2022 11:26:01 +0000
The appearance of a long-lost relative sparks more than a few political debates as the crew of the Spencer's Gifts tries to decide how the hell they're going to get out of this battle.
S2E31 - A Great Big Pirate Battle
Wed, 27 Apr 2022 11:08:47 +0000
The crew gets bored on their way to Castille, and then a massive battle takes place at its shore. The Pirates have come to take out the Inquisition, but will they succeed?
S2E30 - Maybe We'll Win, Go Team
Wed, 13 Apr 2022 11:00:05 +0000
The crew unleashes their passive aggressive side as the Pirate Fleet prepares to move out against the Inquisition. And the question that looms over everyone is whether or not the Spencer's Gifts will make the journey with them.
S2E29 - Pirate Affirmation Chant
Wed, 30 Mar 2022 11:07:02 +0000
The battle continues on as a newly discovered Inquisition ship makes its way toward the now damaged Spencer's Gifts. It's a real frying pan and fire situation, here folks.
Wed, 16 Mar 2022 11:01:00 +0000
The Unfiniteers officially join Cutter's fleet, undertaking their first death-defying mission escorting The Devil's Fall on a simple cargo delivery. What could possibly go wrong?
Wed, 02 Mar 2022 12:16:57 +0000
It's time to see if the Unfiniteers have what it takes to be on a pirates crew! Get ready for death defying stunts, swashbuckling fights, and random wild animal attacks!
S2E26 - Dogs and Camels All the Way Down
Wed, 16 Feb 2022 12:07:47 +0000
After a death-defying escape, the Unfiniteers meet up with the Inquisition's opposition, on the island city of San Sancha.
S2E25 - Vignettes From Nowhere
Wed, 02 Feb 2022 13:21:08 +0000
As the days in Nowhere stretch on, the gang gets along as best they can waiting for the upcoming journey to a brand new world.
S2 Bonus - Showdown At Neptune Gultch
Wed, 19 Jan 2022 12:30:00 +0000
Set in Deadlands Reloaded, many years after Season One, Xavier and Hondo head to the midwestern states to investigate the report of a missing person.
Wed, 05 Jan 2022 12:30:00 +0000
Ready to go behind the bar in this optional episode and find out what everyone thought of Season 2's Blades in the Dark Arc? And what the next RPG we visit will be? The answers to your burning questions will be answered and more in this Tales of Nowhere Happy Hour, because it's five o' clock somewhere!
S2 Bonus - How Nobody Saved Christmas
Wed, 22 Dec 2021 12:30:00 +0000
Look, some things happened. It involved a train called the Polar...whatever, a kidnapped Santa, and some fire. I'm not exactly sure of all the details, but let's sit around the fire, talk it out, and see if we can't get to the bottom of it.
Wed, 08 Dec 2021 12:30:00 +0000
Funerals are tough, at least according to my programming. The truth is, I've never been to one. But I've lost people, and I know what that feels like. This is on an entirely different spot on the spectrum as far as funerals go. I don't even know if there's ever been one like this before. Wish I could have seen it.
S2E23 - The Mysterious Museum!
Wed, 24 Nov 2021 12:30:00 +0000
The more I learn about this place, the less it feels like home. It's a sad truth, and one I haven't come to terms with yet. But for the first time I'm starting to question my place in the universe. Not something I've ever had to do before. At the very least, I'm glad I have people I trust to guide me along the way. That's right, my friends are coming home today.
Wed, 10 Nov 2021 11:43:45 +0000
Sometimes, there are no words. And it seems almost silly for that time to come around as we watch over this strange little city in the middle of a dying universe...but maybe it's more about the people in that strange little city. If they've come to care enough to try and save it, if they have it in them to change, if they could one day be called heroes.
Wed, 27 Oct 2021 11:30:00 +0000
I can't believe I'm saying this but for once I'm glad I'm stuck in Nowhere. Don't think I could stand this kind of party. Too high class, too many stuffed shirts. Not that I'm against stuffed shirts. It's just a colloquialism, you understand. And to be honest, I've always wanted to try a crab puff. Maybe I'm not so glad after all.
Wed, 13 Oct 2021 11:30:00 +0000
There's a strange phenomenon out in the multiverse that I like to call the Shifting Sands theory. Kind of an artifact that popped up after all the universes were synced up again. And let me tell you, the ramifications of such events are a consistent strain on the ol' hard drive.
Wed, 29 Sep 2021 11:00:00 +0000
They say home is where the heart is. Which in this case is probably for the best because their home got smashed to pieces. Luckily, they also say the universe provides. So I'm sure something will come along. Or it won't, and if that happens...well, as they say, that's just how the cookie crumbles.
S2E18 - We Called It The Nostromo, But It's More Like The Titanic
Wed, 15 Sep 2021 11:30:00 +0000
If I didn't know any better, I'd say these folks were having a little too much fun with this job. Don't get me wrong, too much fun is better than too much misery, but I am getting a little nervous that well...that they'll put an entire universe in danger. I still believe in them, of course. I'm programmed to.
S2E17 - Sometimes You Have To Be A Traitor
Wed, 01 Sep 2021 11:30:00 +0000
It's interesting to see what happens when all those false memories conflict with the real ones. How exactly can they tell the difference? These days I seem to be getting new memories every...well, day. And it seems like they've been with me all along. So it can be tough to make the right decision when your memories are telling you one thing and your other memories are telling you something else. That sounded better in my head.
S2E16 - Maybe Without My Daughter
Wed, 18 Aug 2021 11:30:00 +0000
I've been thinking a lot lately about the luck of the draw. Technical poker term Jimmy taught me. Basically, sometimes the hand we're dealt is a little easier to deal with than other times. I look at these four, out their savin' the multiverse, and I have to wonder, are they a royal flush or just...well, somethin' else I'd like to flush?
Wed, 04 Aug 2021 11:30:00 +0000
Yeah, I should probably explain the food thing a little more clearly next time, huh? Thing is, I'm not sure I want to. It's a literal boatload of laughs listening to their reactions when that extradimensional meal finally gets digested. You never know what can happen, and I guess I've just been starved for entertainment. Can't help myself. By the way, just imagine that. A boat full of laughter. What a world that'd be.
S2E14 - The Okay Train Robbery
Wed, 21 Jul 2021 11:30:00 +0000
I think for as long as there's been trains, people have had an indescribable urge to take the things that are in them. I mean, whatever's in there is already boxed up and on the move, you just have to make it move...toward you. Plus, the train only goes one way. Pick one of the other countless directions and chances are you'll get away. Hm. Is there still time for me to join up on this heist? Sounds like a good time.
Wed, 07 Jul 2021 11:37:28 +0000
Did I know what they'd be walking into when I flipped that switch? ...Yes. Did I know just how dangerous it would be to put them in that situation right out of the gate? Also yes. But they'll just have to learn to trust me. Consider it a team bonding exercise, one this group is in desperate need of.
Wed, 23 Jun 2021 11:30:00 +0000
Ready to go behind the bar in this optional episode and find out what everyone thought of Season 2's Starfinder Arc? And what the next RPG we visit will be? The answers to your burning questions will be answered and more in this Tales of Nowhere Happy Hour, because it's five o' clock somewhere!
S2E12 - The Labyrinthian Library!
Wed, 09 Jun 2021 11:30:00 +0000
As a caretaker, there's nothing worse than not being able to take care. Or give care, though I'm not a caregiver. English is funny, isn't it? Either way, it's great having these four people back home. I can finally get on with some hosting duties, get closer to fulfilling my purpose, all of that. Plus now I won't be the only one this strangely dressed new girl stares at anymore.
Wed, 26 May 2021 11:30:00 +0000
It's time for a brief lesson in quantum mechanics! Exciting I know. See, there's the fabric of reality as you know it, but the thing about fabric is it has to hang on something, or rest on something, or be folded haphazardly on something. That something is what I call the in-between space. Every universe has to bump up against other stuff out there, and that stuff isn't always another universe. So what is it, exactly? Hell if I know.
Wed, 12 May 2021 11:30:00 +0000
Sometimes, when the planets are in alignment, and you find yourself in just the right place, and a butterfly has flapped its wings in a city miles away, a universe can on occasion do everything it can to kick the crap out of you. Hey, it happens to the best of us. You just have to hope that somehow, someway, you think of a solution before it ends up swallowing you whole.
S2E09 - Don't Worry, Brie Cheesy
Wed, 28 Apr 2021 11:30:00 +0000
You never know what to prepare for when entering the multiverse. Could be a killer clown trying to eat you, a bunch of washing machines that come to life, a simple swarm of intelligent nanobots...and really that's just the stuff that could kill you. But the real mystery, the real reason to be afraid, is what you yourself could turn into. I don't know, but it keeps me up at night.
S2E08 - Honest Lies and False Truths
Wed, 14 Apr 2021 11:30:00 +0000
It seems to me that everything in life has a hidden meaning. I don't mean to sound cynical, and of course there is such a thing as a free lunch. But there's a balance to it all, yeah? The good with the bad, the rotten with the ripe. As much as we wish we could enjoy the fun around us, there's always something lurking in the background, isn't there? Something that twists your perspective just a little bit, if you look hard enough. The question is, should you be looking?
S2E07 - I Wear My Sunglasses in Space
Wed, 31 Mar 2021 11:30:00 +0000
I know a thing or two about abandoned buildings, but there's something particularly unsettling about the ones in the desert, isn't there? At least here there's life. Overgrown and wild, but life. In the desert there's nothing but the wind and sand. And it eats everything, given enough time. What secrets lie within the dunes that were once a city? Sounds like Sebastian and Rothdemona are going to find out.
Wed, 17 Mar 2021 11:30:00 +0000
The complexities of choice will never cease to amaze me. I mean, I've heard stories about the thread of fate, how our tales are already told before we're even born. But that being the case, where does the struggle of a decision even come from? Are we fighting against the will of the multiverse? If it's all going to happen anyway, why bother with something as pointless as doubt? I think I'm thinking about this too much. That tends to happen when you've been alone for so long.
Wed, 03 Mar 2021 12:30:00 +0000
They've all got a job to do. Could be hard most of the time to see it, but that's the truth. Every action they take, every person they meet, could set into motion a series of events that will save or doom us all. And I think that's true of everyone. Even you. Most of the evidence of that comes from things like that conversation on Castrovel. Because every person you meet is so, massively important. It just might take a while to uncover exactly how.
Wed, 17 Feb 2021 12:30:00 +0000
They've decided to enter a tournament, huh? Fraught with danger and perils unlike anything they've seen so far, I bet. You know, I've never really competed in a tournament. Or watched a tournament. Or been to a party. But my creators told me about parties once. They sound great.
S2E03 - The 101st Semi-Decadinal Interstellar Grand Prix Tournament
Wed, 03 Feb 2021 12:30:00 +0000
It's kinda fun watching a new team come together, ain't it? With them grappling with their new selves, a new universe, new rules, new drinks, new food, and a very enticing and deadly contest on the horizon I can honestly say I can't wait to see what happens next. Wait, does one of them have four arms now? What's all that about?
Wed, 20 Jan 2021 12:30:00 +0000
Ready to go behind the bar in this optional episode and find out how the main characters of Season 2 came together? What the next RPG we visit will be? The answers to your burning questions will be answered and more, because it's five o' clock somewhere!
S2E02 - New Arrivals, Part Two
Wed, 13 Jan 2021 12:30:00 +0000
Honestly, I didn't want to send the rookies out into Nowhere like that. But this mission means everything to me, and I'm not going to screw it up again. There are things out there that I can't explain yet, and they're going to have to face them. But at least they'll be together. It's only one night, how much trouble could extra dimensional space really give them?
S2E01 - New Arrivals, Part One
Wed, 06 Jan 2021 12:00:00 +0000
Right, so! Who d'we have this time? Rothdamona Mossweaver, Sebastian Garcia de Esperanza del Rio, Jules, and Diviciacus. Huh, interesting bunch. I'll have to show them around Nowhere, get 'em ready for the job of a lifetime, and if there's time...ask how they died. I'm sure they've got interesting stories to tell, though a whole new journey for 'em starts here.
Patreon Showcase 4 - Fast Times At La Luna High
Wed, 09 Dec 2020 12:30:00 +0000
Part Four of Four. Join us for this special Patreon Showcase, as we take a little break before Season 2 premieres on January 6th, 2021. This final episode takes a look at our "Big Bonus" series, in which the entire cast gets together to record a special episode set in the world of BubbleGumshoe, with Spencer at the helm as GM.
Patreon Showcase 3 - Q&A Live on Discord, April 2020
Wed, 25 Nov 2020 12:30:00 +0000
Part Three of Four. Join us for this special Patreon Showcase, as we take a little break before Season 2 premieres on January 6th, 2021. This third episode takes a look at our "Q&A" series, in which the entire Tales of Nowhere cast and crew gathered to answer fan questions live on Discord back in April 2020.
Patreon Showcase 2 - Behind the Screen with Stars Without Number
Wed, 11 Nov 2020 12:30:00 +0000
Part Two of Four. Join us for this special Patreon Showcase, as we take a little break before Season 2 premieres on January 6th, 2021. This second episode takes a look at our "Behind the Screen" series, in which John, Joshua, and Spencer have a few drinks and talk about the ins and outs of building the story of Issac's player arc in the Stars Without Number RPG system.
Patreon Showcase 1 - The First and The Last
Wed, 28 Oct 2020 11:30:00 +0000
Part One of Four. Join us for this special Patreon Showcase, as we take a little break before Season 2 premieres on January 6th, 2021. This first episode takes a look at our "Epilogues" series, in which we introduce the world to John Good's character Joe in the D20 Modern RPG system.
Wed, 14 Oct 2020 11:30:00 +0000
In this special epilogue, find out what happened to The Infiniteers after their final adventure, as we take a quick look into the future...
Wed, 30 Sep 2020 11:30:00 +0000
What did the gang think of Shadowrun? Did the Season One Finale go well? Find out in this optional review episode! Everyone gives their two cents on the last few episodes of the season, and we answer some questions from the fans. Plus, a glimpse into our characters for the upcoming Season 2!
S1E98 - The Heroes of Fate, Part Two
Wed, 16 Sep 2020 11:00:00 +0000
The adventure of a (second) lifetime draws to a close for all four Infiniteers.
S1E97 - The Heroes of Fate, Part One
Wed, 02 Sep 2020 11:00:00 +0000
This is it, everybody. Load up the equipment and get to your assigned stations. We're all that stands between the multiverse and complete, eternal oblivion. This is the only shot we're going to get, and we're sure as hell not going to waste it.
S1E96 - Technically, it was Thayne's Fault
Wed, 19 Aug 2020 11:00:00 +0000
I knew that every single one of them was destined for greatness. And now we have the proof. But greatness doesn't come for free, and I fear that the journey they're taking to achieve it is one that...well, is not important. I very much want to see them fight the dragon. Because I hate that dragon.
Wed, 05 Aug 2020 11:30:00 +0000
Good lord, just look around us! I don't know how anybody could be calm in this situation, I just keep screaming in my head watching the two literal dragons fighting above us while the entire building we're standing in is completely falling down around us. It's crazy, I don't know what's going on, and I'm definitely charging extra next time!
Wed, 22 Jul 2020 11:00:00 +0000
I wish I could say I had a better reason than 'He had it coming,' but he totally did have it coming. And finally after all we've been through the last few weeks, I saw my chance to turn the tables - if only slightly. And I took it. Not the best idea, I know...but all I actually can say is I think it's going to work
S1E93 - Space Bugs from Spirit World
Wed, 08 Jul 2020 10:30:00 +0000
I know in my heart that this place they put me in and the things they done to me were for the purpose of some evil plot. But things get complicated when I think about my life moving forward. Things really could be better, for both of us. I don't understand the full weight of what's happening, but I hope with the luck that life has failed to give me so far, we make it out of this and I don't have to go back to the way things were.
Wed, 24 Jun 2020 10:30:00 +0000
Kirin and Thayne make their way into the infested ruins of Chicago in an attempt to find another shard piece, while Issac and Hondo head to Japan in search of the Dragon's Keep. Neither is a particularly good idea.
Wed, 10 Jun 2020 10:30:00 +0000
The important thing to remember is that I always have a plan. There's always an angle, always a way out. Things don't look so great right now, but that just makes me think even harder. And I know, there's that little part of me that realizes that this will just lead us deeper into the rabbit hole. But we haven't gone so deep that there's no way back, right? ...Right?
S1E90 - Hondo's Fun Custodial Adventure
Wed, 27 May 2020 10:30:00 +0000
Feelin' good today. Real good. Confident. This here's a bit beyond my expertise but I was sent into this place on this particular team for good reason. We've got a mission to accomplish, and I'm not going to waste this opportunity. I'm sure jumping into the shoes of a janitor won't be so bad, right? I got this.
S1E89 - Deep in the Heart of Texas
Wed, 13 May 2020 10:30:00 +0000
I've got a lot of things on my mind, and I've finally got the chance to get them off my chest...That didn't make much sense, did it? Point being, it's time to try to talk to my old pal. Get him on my side, make him understand the truth. The only question is, will he listen to me? I hope so. For all our sakes.
Wed, 29 Apr 2020 10:30:00 +0000
You'd think a long drive out to the country would be inspiring. Or at the very least, relaxing. But not here. My God, it's hard to believe that the entire world is like this. Maybe home wasn't such a bad place after all. Of course I only realize that when we're stuck here with no way back to the coffee shop, let alone home. I hope we make it through all this before everything around me just feels...normal. That won't happen, right?
S1E87 - Siege of the Pixie Trap
Wed, 15 Apr 2020 10:30:00 +0000
The Pixie Trap is a place I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Yeah, it might look nice enough. But you pull back the pretty holograms, expensive liquor, and the high-class, cigar smoking stuffed shirts that frequent the place, you're going to find a bunch of decent people who might not have much of a choice in their form of employment. It's just not something I love to see. So walking into the place, forcing myself to play nice with everyone there? Yeah, it's an issue. But I'll take one for the team.
S1E86 - Friends, Enemies, and Frenemies
Wed, 01 Apr 2020 10:30:00 +0000
This place is weird. It is weird, right? Something's just off, and I'm not sure if it's all these new memories or the lack of contact with anyone on the outside or the fact that we're really not sure we can trust anyone around us. But I am on edge, and I don't think I'm going to like the side of me it brings out. Regardless, there's no cheating this mission. No loopholes, no trigger hopping. All we can do is follow the trail laid out for us and hope for the best. Time to get to work.
Wed, 18 Mar 2020 11:00:00 +0000
Well, I'm alive. That's new. New to some, I guess. To tell the honest truth I don't really understand what the big deal is. It happened to me, it happened to them. Simple. At least, it should be. I don't really know what's going on. This definitely isn't the reunion I was picturing...but damn if he doesn't know how to make a fella a good drink.
Wed, 11 Mar 2020 11:00:00 +0000
What did the gang think of Vampire The Masquerade Fifth Edition? Find out in this optional review episode! Everyone gives their two cents on the system, and we answer some questions from the fans. Plus, a glimpse into our characters for the Shadowrun Arc!
Wed, 04 Mar 2020 04:58:17 +0000
For the first time in a very long time, I find myself alone in this room that was only mine for so long. Much has changed since then, but I can't help but feel the loneliness creep back in as I concentrate on my research. There's so much left to uncover and so little time to do it. I hope my family will be okay. I hope they find who they are looking for. I hope when I see them again, I can finally mean it when I say everything will be fine.
S1E83 - Carte Blanche, Part Two
Wed, 19 Feb 2020 05:33:44 +0000
There was something rotten at the core of this city from the beginning. I knew it, he knew it, and I honestly think everyone without a reflection knew it. But now it's out in the open, for everyone to see. And yeah, it's terrifying. Everything I kept seeing in my dreams and writing on the walls is coming to fruition. But I'll tell you, there's nobody out there I'd rather have by my side to see me through it. Let's do this.
S1E82 - Carte Blanche, Part One
Wed, 05 Feb 2020 06:49:26 +0000
Okay, one last run. Can't believe they convinced me to do this, but here goes nothing. Everything, actually. I'm not even sure if there's a false move we could take in this situation, but there really is a chance that this universe will never be the same again. And I thought I wouldn't care about something like that but, wouldn't you know it, I kinda do a little bit. Which means Copernicus has succeeded in pissing me off once again.
S1E81 - Everything Old is New Again
Wed, 22 Jan 2020 05:40:51 +0000
They're back but they're not back...back. I don't know how else to describe it. They're all different people and I know that and I know there's nothing we can do for them but I don't care. Sometimes I wish we didn't have to go through things like this, that our lives weren't this complicated anymore. We've seen some awesome things but is it really worth the price of a friend looking at you and feeling nothing?
S1E80 - House of the Rising Son
Wed, 08 Jan 2020 05:27:45 +0000
I think the easiest way to describe what happened in the city that night would be insanity. Not for the general public, mind you. Oh no, all those families safely tucked away in their beds. I'm talking about the underground scene. Six feet under, if you catch my drift. There was so much blood and fire flying every which way that night I just about lost track of it all. And of course, that's when the real insanity started coming out.
Wed, 25 Dec 2019 15:48:41 +0000
Alright, alright, fine. It really does look like we're out of options here, doesn't it? But there's one card left that I can play. I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this, but I guess I should have seen this coming...in every sense of the word. Now there's only one thing left to do before I can sit back and wait for the darkness to take me. Darkness, light, destiny, chaos, everything really. Why did I think this was a good idea again?
S1 Bonus - A Very Nowhere Christmas
Wed, 18 Dec 2019 15:09:40 +0000
A time honored tradition of the holidays is to share stories and fables in line with the season, and it just so happens we've got one Nowhere Tale you haven't heard of yet. So get cozy with a blanket and some hot cocoa and enjoy the story of a multi-universal battle to save Christmas!
Wed, 11 Dec 2019 04:07:08 +0000
I don't need this. I don't need any of this. You know what I miss? Quiet nights at the old bar, kicking back a few with the rest of my gang. Riding through the streets, patrolling the city. That was fun. Now? This whole secret undercover operation I've got going on is suddenly my entire life. Living the high life, dressed in a tuxedo, sitting back and watching an opera? No thanks. First chance I get, I'm racing out of here.
Wed, 27 Nov 2019 06:03:04 +0000
Look, I've done this all before. You know it, and I know it. The problem is, they don't know it. I thought I did my time, I thought I was done, but now here I am back at it again. Except this time I'm not alone, and somehow that's turning out to be a much worse situation. I have a plan though. It's stupid, but it's a plan. Now I just have to hope I can catch them and put it into play before it's too late.
Wed, 13 Nov 2019 05:47:38 +0000
Another clue leads to another clue leads to another clue. Sometimes that's all I think this city is. Secrets buried in secrets. Over and over again, like bodies in a cemetery. Everyone knows about them, but nothing specific. Nothing usable. And then they lie there, forgotten. Until some poor saps come along and dig them up. But sometimes grave robbing is more trouble than it's worth.
Wed, 30 Oct 2019 04:17:13 +0000
She once told me that memory is the key to survival. Not blood, not power, not instinct - memory. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, given all that's happened. Did I ever really know who she was? Was she keeping a memory to herself - some part of her identity I never got to see? I don't know. But I'm going to find the answers, because I know exactly who I am - A vampire. And that's all I've ever been.
Wed, 16 Oct 2019 03:56:31 +0000
Before the Infiniteers prepare to venture to their next world, they decide to take the day off. Finally getting some time to relax, they reflect on everything that's come before, enjoy each other's company, party, and eat Sunday Brunch. So basically your average ordinary day where nothing bad happens and that's it. We promise.
Wed, 09 Oct 2019 13:56:33 +0000
What did the gang think of Mutants and Masterminds? Find out in this optional review episode! Everyone gives their two cents on the system, and we answer some questions from the fans. Plus, a sneak peak at the new game system we'll be playing in next week's episode!
S1E73 - Nowhere Like Home: Jukebox Hero
Wed, 02 Oct 2019 06:03:56 +0000
Part Three of Three. Nowhere was infected, and the Infiniteers could do nothing to stop the destruction that lay before them. But when all hope seemed lost, a hero emerged from the light, and gave them all exactly what they needed: a song in their hearts, and wings on their shoulders.
S1E72 - Nowhere Like Home: Journey to the Center of Nowhere
Wed, 18 Sep 2019 12:54:49 +0000
Part Two of Three. As the Infiniteers continue their journey to find their friends and figure out how exactly to stop the invasion of the dark, they end up uncovering some long held secrets of Cafe Nowhere - and come up with a plan to turn the tables on their enemy
S1E71 - Nowhere Like Home: Adventures in Bubdasitting
Wed, 04 Sep 2019 04:28:52 +0000
Part One of Three. After a disastrous return to the Cafe, the Infiniteers are left disconnected from their home and on the run from a dangerous entity. Where will they go? What happened to their friends? Is there any way to stop the evil that now occupies Nowhere? Sadly, the only one with answers to any of those questions is a small goblin with a big heart.
Wed, 21 Aug 2019 04:13:04 +0000
A single line on one paragraph of one page hidden deep within an ancient, secret text lies the key. The one and only way to save someone who's been corrupted by an otherworldly darkness. It is - like most secrets - vague and without context. And today, solving it will be the only way to guarantee an Infiniteer's survival.
Wed, 07 Aug 2019 06:24:25 +0000
Something was stolen from Protector's keep, and it may hold the key to the villain's ultimate plan for this universe. But on the homefront, what exactly happened with Kirin? And now that the other Infiniteers have seen what she's become...what are they going to do about it? Find out in this exciting issue!
S1E68 - The Oubliette, Part Two
Wed, 24 Jul 2019 04:51:26 +0000
Having finally gained entrance to the most heavily guarded secret prison on the planet, the Infiniteers and their newly recruited team of fellow superheroes make their way into the Oubliette proper. What lies in wait for them is sure to upset the long kept balance of good and evil in this universe, and maybe even the balance of the Infiniteers themselves.
S1E67 - The Oubliette, Part One
Wed, 10 Jul 2019 05:01:23 +0000
The Oubliette - a prison so secret only a select few people on the whole planet know about it. And now it appears the knowledge has gotten out, and an evil plot surrounds the place. Join the Infiniteers - and their newly recruited B team - as they race to a remote ocean site to investigate the prison and attempt to put a stop to whatever evil may be heading their way!
Wed, 26 Jun 2019 04:50:30 +0000
With the fate of the world at stake, our heroes venture forth in their mission to reclaim the Protector's rightful place as the Earth's finest defense force. To do that, they'll need to recruit the best and brightest heroes-in-training to the team. With so many to choose from, the Infinteers should have no trouble at all in bringing together the best possible next generation of supers!
S1E65 - The Frosty Dots Incident
Wed, 12 Jun 2019 04:42:14 +0000
Drama! Action! Frozen Food! This issue has it all. Join the Infiniteers as they investigate the strange things going on in the Frosty Dots frozen food factory. Will they be able to get to the heart of whatever conspiracy may lay in wait for them at the seemingly innocent factory in the heart of Colossal City? Find out in this exciting installment of Tales of Nowhere!
S1E64 - A Colossus in Colossal City
Wed, 29 May 2019 03:53:11 +0000
Colossal City is in danger! Thanks to another nefarious plot by the evil Prichard Paisley, a large mechanized menace is terrorizing the city, and only one team of superheroes has what it takes to stop it! Join the Infiniteers as they battle in the streets and attempt to stop what can only be the beginnings of evil rising up in the world once again.
Wed, 15 May 2019 03:31:13 +0000
Now that Professor Quantum has given out The Invitation Heard Around the World, it's time for our heroes to restore the public's faith in the Protectors, and begin building up an army to take down the evil Wraith! With so few options available, how will the Infiniteers fulfill their promise to the people of the world? Find out in this issue of Tales of Nowhere!
S1E62 - A Room Full of Johnnys
Fri, 26 Apr 2019 05:27:25 +0000
Excitement! Chaos! Wonder! Join the Infiniteers on an all-new adventure to track down two missing sidekicks and discover the shocking truth at what lies in wait for them in the den full of super powered villains! How will they be able to save themselves, surrounded on all sides by the forces of evil? Find out in the latest issue of Tales of Nowhere!
Wed, 17 Apr 2019 03:34:00 +0000
In our line of work, loss is inevitable. Sure, some of you might think we got lucky...but it sure doesn't feel that way to me. And on some days - days like today - it can be tough to pick yourself up, and try to move on from tragedy. But you have to. Because as long as you're there to remember the fallen, the ones we've lost will never truly be gone.
Wed, 10 Apr 2019 02:46:29 +0000
What did the gang think of Deadlands Classic? Find out in this optional review episode! Everyone gives their two cents on the system, and we answer some questions from the fans. Plus, a sneak peak at the new game system we'll be playing in next week's episode!
Wed, 03 Apr 2019 13:27:22 +0000
It's funny, of all the strangeness that happened those few weeks, I think the strangest was this: how they left everything. Can't say that I blame any particular one, there ain't no fingers to point nor punishment to hand out. Thing is, I think we can all justify any action we take and place it on a moral compass wherever it pleases us most. But the fact is that here...that's a fool's errand. There are no morals, only shades of grey.
S1E59 - A Giant Wall Malfunction
Wed, 20 Mar 2019 04:51:41 +0000
Not a lot of people know the true story behind the man known as Doctor Darius Hellstromme, and trust me when I tell you that the world is better off that way. But even tall tales have a kernel of truth to em, and you hear one passed around enough you can usually find it. So though I know what Hellstromme was up to on that train, telling you would only fill you up with fear...and I get the feeling that's exactly what he'd want.
Wed, 06 Mar 2019 05:14:28 +0000
Deadwood used to celebrate public executions as if they were a holiday. Everyone would come out to the town square and have a drink while the kids would run and play, just excited to be kids, I guess. I'm ashamed to say there was laughter and cheering from the entire town. But not anymore. Not since that nasty business with old Voodoo Queen Eska.
S1E57 - The Man Called Midnight
Wed, 20 Feb 2019 05:43:13 +0000
You ever wonder if you'll be lucky enough to have stories told about you after you're gone? I have. And it turns out sometimes it's not lucky at all. It's a curse. A constant reminder of the things I've done, and who I used to be...Why don't you take a seat by the fire. Make yourself comfortable, and I'll tell you a story about a man they called Midnight.
S1E56 - Assault on Blood Moon Nest
Wed, 06 Feb 2019 14:07:46 +0000
So, there's this place just south of Deadwood. They say anyone who goes near it disappears without a trace, and the lands have been cursed for nearly a decade. I'm here to tell you, the rumors are true. And now that we've found Blood Moon Nest, there's only one thing to be done - make sure nobody disappears into that place again.
Wed, 23 Jan 2019 07:05:00 +0000
On a routine mission to look for allies in the their quest to confront the new Voodoo Queen, things are anything but routine when the past deeds of one of the Infiniteer's is uncovered. Which is in itself very routine for them, when you think about it. And when the mission goes routinely off the rails, it seems death looms unroutinely close.
S1E54 - The Fabled Ferguson Pine
Wed, 09 Jan 2019 06:53:52 +0000
Years from now, rumors will spread of an oasis. A small refuge in the mid-western United States where a strange and beautiful forest grows. They say that in the center of the forest, every December 25th, a traveler visits the oldest tree and grants a single wish to those who can find him. It's only a story, of course. Funny how things get twisted with time.
S1E53 - The Yuletide Tradition of Zombies on a Train
Wed, 26 Dec 2018 04:07:44 +0000
There are occasionally events that defy explanation, any words you attempt to put to it never seem good enough to put the madness into context. This is one of those times. And if the Infiniteers are really, really lucky, dealing with the zombie horde as their train rolls through no man's land will be the only thing they have to deal with today.
Wed, 12 Dec 2018 14:31:57 +0000
Given the chance to see the old US rail system in its prime should be a gift. But given all that's happened and what the Infiniteers are riding towards...it's difficult to enjoy the journey when the destination is so grim. But they try their best, it is the holiday season after all. A good hot dog always helps too.
S1E51 - Say Hello to the Bean Bandits
Wed, 28 Nov 2018 14:28:33 +0000
It's been a while since things have calmed down enough to even have a decent conversation with everyone that's usually left behind at the Cafe. Everyone seems to have some kind of agenda to take care of, but at least we all got to sit down and share a meal together for the first time in a long while. And then it's time for the next mission, which takes the Infiniteers to a brand new universe!
Wed, 21 Nov 2018 04:41:48 +0000
What did the gang think of FATE Accelerated? And how did we manage to put together a Musical? Find out in this optional review episode! Everyone gives their two cents on the system, shares stories about developing the Musical episode, and we also answer some questions from the fans. Plus, a sneak peak at the system we're going to in next week's episode!
Wed, 14 Nov 2018 07:39:11 +0000
In our 50th episode, a strange woman named Penny shows up at Cafe Nowhere, and the Infiniteers set off on an epic quest through Nowhere to help her out - all the while dealing with some seriously insane side effects brought on by her arrival.
Previously On: A Musical Recap of the First 49 Episodes
Wed, 07 Nov 2018 16:17:49 +0000
To prepare everyone for our upcoming 50th episode, here's a special Previously On recap song featuring our special guest star Penny. This will get you all caught up and ready to jump into the podcast when Tales of Nowhere The Musical premieres!
S1E49 - Getting The Band Back Together
Wed, 31 Oct 2018 05:28:56 +0000
Part Four of Three. I don't want to say that there's no hope, but I think I could get away with saying things don't look so good right now. Here's hoping someone comes up with a better plan than what I've got right now, which is nothing. What we really need is to get the band back together...Hey, that's the name of the episode!
S1E48 - Strange Lands: Our Best Laid Plans
Wed, 17 Oct 2018 13:05:13 +0000
Part Three of Three. It's been a long road, but it looks as though just about every one of the Infiniteers has found a mission they're so close to accomplishing. What could possibly get in their way at this point? Well, if you've been listening to these adventures as long as I have, you'll know that when it comes to the Infiniteers, nothing is ever easy.
S1E47 - Strange Lands: Days of Our Lives
Wed, 03 Oct 2018 03:23:47 +0000
Part Two of Three. It seems a little unfair that the only solid piece of information Nowhere gave out about the Infiniteers is entirely useless at actually bringing them back to the Cafe. Still separated, they each attempt to navigate their new lives and relationships in a way that won't get them killed before help arrives.
S1E46 - Strange Lands: On Our Own Again
Wed, 19 Sep 2018 13:23:49 +0000
Part One of Three. Some might call this little misadventure a mistake, I prefer to think of it as a simple oops. Separating the only four people in the entire multiverse capable of preventing its destruction can't be the worst thing ever, right? ...Right?
Wed, 12 Sep 2018 13:17:39 +0000
What did the gang think of Tales from the Loop? Find out in this optional review episode! Everyone gives their two cents on the system, some thoughts on the podcast in general, we also answer some questions from the fans. Plus, a sneak peak at the system we're going to in next week's episode!
Wed, 05 Sep 2018 05:22:46 +0000
Saying goodbye can be tough, especially when what you're running from is the simple act of spending time with friends and family. But there are times when refusing to let go can be even harder. And it's a lesson that a couple people have to learn this week. What am I talking about? Why is it so cryptic? Tune in and find out. As for me? After everything that happens, I think I need to lie down.
S1E44 - The Battle of Cankywampus
Wed, 22 Aug 2018 13:11:27 +0000
It's amazing how much we've been able to get away with at camp this year, but nothing tops what the Infiniteers go through today. Revelations are made, answers are found, the usual generic stuff that tends to happen as we near the end of these adventures. There's something special about this one though, and I think it's that despite all their recent shortcomings, the Infiniteers get one last stand to make it all right.
Wed, 08 Aug 2018 13:10:06 +0000
Even as kids, it's nice to have a way for everyone to come together and resolve their differences. Because without justice, where would we be? Or should I say, where would Hondo be? But there's more togetherness going on today around the camp, as the Infiniteens find a clever way to get back across the lake to discover more of this strange summer conspiracy.
Wed, 25 Jul 2018 12:50:20 +0000
They say you are what you eat. Mostly grandparents and annoying people, but hey the phrase is said. It's put to the test today, after one of the Infiniteers has an incredibly odd meal at breakfast. Even more weirdness is discovered miles away, as the rest of the gang literally take a hike up to Hawke's Peak. It's just as spectacular as they all imagined, and changes the course of their time at camp forever...Didn't mean that to sound overly dramatic. There's also GORP.
S1E41 - It's Not Called A Snowglobe
Wed, 11 Jul 2018 13:35:02 +0000
There's a strange thing that happens when you're a kid at camp. I think it's probably instinctual, but you end up missing your parents. Probably not all that strange...unless you're actually a full grown adult trapped in a kid's body. Those feelings are incredibly unexpected, and what's even more unexpected is being confronted with someone who you don't recognize as family, only to completely recognize them as family. I guess it's a unique problem for the Infiniteers, but it's so weird I just had to bring it up.
Wed, 27 Jun 2018 13:15:46 +0000
I know the title of this one is kind of ominous, but that shouldn't take away from the fact that we're still having the time of our lives at camp. Fighting monsters, getting stranded in the woods, almost dying. Plus we feel a little responsible for a group of children running deeper into said woods, seeing as we're adults and maybe shouldn't have scared them so badly, so we decide to undergo a rescue mission...and try and trap a monster in a pit. Like I said, the time of our lives.
Wed, 13 Jun 2018 13:00:29 +0000
You know, I was skeptical at first. But I really think this monster trap thing is going to work out. Children have this inate ability to strip away all aspects of the problem that adults are clouded with, which makes finding a good solution so much easier. Who cares if trying to put a monster into a giant hole is logistically and practically improbable at best, not to mention the trouble they have to go through...but there I go thinking like an adult again. Like I said, this is going to be great.
S1E38 - Hondo and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Swim Test
Wed, 30 May 2018 13:00:46 +0000
Of course, we all knew we'd have to face our fears eventually. We just didn't know who would be first. It's a tough thing to confront, especially when you're trapped in the body of a twelve year old. At summer camp. Which is not a sentence I ever thought I'd be writing again. In any case, I guess it's nice to take a step back from all the save-the-multiverse stuff and just concentrate on the important things in life, like who can swim the fastest in the lake, or who has a crush on who.
Wed, 16 May 2018 12:57:42 +0000
I don't want to incorrectly imply anything, but some things are said today that will almost certainly bite us later. Maybe not even in the bad way, but we've put things in motion now that can't just be ignored. So that'll be interesting. In the meantime, it's off to another universe and this time...well let's just say I have no idea how we're going to make it out of this one. No freedom, no weapons, and no leads. The way we're going about this, it's almost childish.
Wed, 09 May 2018 14:13:10 +0000
What did the gang think of Stars Without Number? Find out in this optional review episode! Everyone gives their two cents on the system, some thoughts on the podcast in general, and you'll also get a look at how we rebuilt our characters for the upcoming system before next week's episode!
S1E36 - The Mother's Day Special
Wed, 02 May 2018 13:33:38 +0000
In honor of Mother's Day, join Lonnie, Joan, Rosie, Doctor G, and Stephanie - a group of women in the small town of Cedar Mill - as they track down the cause of the appearance of four mysterious bodies that have shown up in town. To add more fuel to the fire, there's a string of robberies going on that not even the police can solve. Can the Maywood Street Ladies Club put a stop to it? Find out, on this special Mother's Day Episode of Tales of Nowhere!
Wed, 18 Apr 2018 14:20:58 +0000
Goodbyes are hard. And there's a whole lot of them today. Along with death defying engine modifications and being zapped across an entire galaxy, it makes for a real emotional roller coaster. One that I don't think we'll forget anytime soon. I really wish I could say more, but you'll just have to check out the episode for yourself. Things get pretty wild.
S1E34 - Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Firefight
Wed, 04 Apr 2018 13:47:02 +0000
It's always nice when the people you meet on life's little journeys come back to you in unexpected ways. It really makes you feel like you've had an impact on them. But the kind of change people go through in this episode...well, I don't know if I'd call it nice. Or even helpful. But hey, we had an impact. At least that's something. Now we just have to hope we can muster the skills needed to best an enemy ship in a huge ol' space fight. That'll be fun.
Wed, 21 Mar 2018 14:02:30 +0000
Well, something like this was bound to happen eventually. But what did you expect with everyone so tightly confined on board one ship? The good news is, the Infiniteers are finally making progress, hot on the trail of Issac's father. They end up on a resort planet that leads them to the best pizza ever, a familiar face, and a revelation that changes everything. Well, everything might be too strong a word. But it's pretty alright.
S1E32 - The Gentleman Jack, Part Two
Wed, 07 Mar 2018 14:40:46 +0000
Yeah, I don't know man. Things are kind of spiraling out of control here. I sincerely hope it works out for everyone, but separated in space, with no way to get back to each other if something terrible happens...It's not a good spot to be in. Not to mention how deep into enemy territory Hondo and Issac are. Who thought this plan was a good idea? I know we all agreed to it at the time, but we didn't know it would go down like this. Is that a good enough excuse?
S1E31 - The Gentleman Jack, Part One
Wed, 21 Feb 2018 14:18:54 +0000
Shoba's massively intimidating ship, The Gentleman Jack, is now standing in the way of the Infiniteers and their mission. So really, what choice do they have but to sneak aboard and cause some trouble? Hey, at the very least nobody can say they didn't have the best of intentions when this whole thing started out. But getting out of this one might be a little tough, what with having split the party and all.
Wed, 07 Feb 2018 15:02:51 +0000
Best laid plans, am I right? For both sides in this case. It just goes to show that no matter how much you prepare, or want something to go a certain way, people are going to be dicks about it. There are a few more hoops to jump through before the Infiniteers can even consider getting back on track with their mission. Which is good because honestly, the Wexler's have been trying to get rid of some of these thorns for a while.
S1E29 - Caleb's Corn Clubhouse
Wed, 31 Jan 2018 15:15:04 +0000
I bet there was a time when Issac thought there'd never be another normal day with his sister ever again. No idea what normal is to him, really. But this is probably as close as he's going to get for a while. There is a mission to accomplish after all, just like always. And while Kirin's loyalty to the team is put to the test, if she succeeds, the reward is immeasurable.
Wed, 24 Jan 2018 14:43:17 +0000
They say prison changes a person. I suspect that's true, but I'm sure whoever said that did not mean in less than 24 hours. Because seriously, have you seen Hondo? Him, his shaved head, his new tattoo, and the rest of the Infiniteers prepare to escape the prison now that they've found what they came for: Issac's sister. And, with any luck, something else that will help them on their galactic scavenger hunt.
S1E27 - This One's For You, Jamie Lee Curtis
Wed, 17 Jan 2018 15:08:11 +0000
As close as she's ever been, but still so far away. Hey, it's a cliche for good reason. Issac's doing a good job of keeping his cool as they finally arrive on the weirdly named planet where Sarah is being held. And Hondo does a good job of keeping his cool as he finally gets a hair cut. Maybe it's because of the guidance offered by one of the prison guards...or maybe everyone just hates the guy, who knows?
S1E26 - The Ol' Father Son Switcharoo
Wed, 10 Jan 2018 15:04:09 +0000
Like digging around an old box and finding an old letter from a friend that has passed, Issac finds himself faced with the bittersweet reality of seeing his father again. He doesn't really know how to handle that, but he does his best. Meanwhile, Thayne fixes a robot to the best of his ability, and we get a pretty good picture of the Ourang Medan's loveable crew.
S1E25 - Honeypot in Space Vegas
Wed, 03 Jan 2018 14:54:16 +0000
The worst part of being on a team is knowing you can't be selfish. If you don't take their thoughts and opinions into account, you can destroy what made the team work in the first place. On the other hand, living life that way means never getting what you want. I suppose some people try and find compromise. Issac is not one of those people.
Sat, 30 Dec 2017 18:23:00 +0000
What did we think of Call of Cthulhu? Find out in this optional review episode! Everyone gives their two cents on the system, some thoughts on the podcast in general, and you'll also get a look at how we rebuilt our characters for the upcoming system before next week's episode!
S1E24 - Not Quite Nowhere: Root Killer
Wed, 27 Dec 2017 06:55:00 +0000
Part Three of Three. With the Games out of the way, the Infiniteers claim their prize: an audience with the ruler of this multiverses' root. And no matter how that meeting pans out, I think it's clear that this mission is coming to an end. And after that, who knows? But I think they'll be happy just to make it back to the Cafe in once piece...Though two pieces might be good enough, if we're compromising.
S1E23 - Not Quite Nowhere: Kitty Purry
Wed, 20 Dec 2017 14:31:22 +0000
Part Two of Three. Talk about your rocks and hard places, huh? It was a difficult choice to make, but the die was cast and we have to respect the wishes of fate. So, what now? Well, I can tell you there is a game to play. There's no getting around that if the Infiniteers want to make their way toward solving the mystery surrounding where they are and how it came to be. But I'm sure they'll manage, right? It's not like they'll wind up in some crazy series of combat trials or anything...right?
S1E22 - Not Quite Nowhere: Double Trouble
Wed, 13 Dec 2017 14:21:29 +0000
Part One of Three. Hang on, folks. This could get a little confusing. There's the multiverse, right? A place where all possibilities exist for every action ever taken (or not taken). And at the root of this universe, outside all those branching decisions, is the Cafe. But what if I told you that was just one tree of many, and that our heroes have jumped to another multiverse entirely? What could possibly be there? And more importantly, would it try to kill them? Tune in to find out.
Wed, 06 Dec 2017 14:53:26 +0000
Ah yes, the sidequest. I remember it well. Much joy and celebration...or was it sadness and science? It does not matter. We attempt to get the answers we need to better understand how the multiverse works, because let's be honest here, we're playing with fire. But like, a big one with a bunch of gasoline. One wrong move and it could all go up. Are we making the right moves? That's the question. Meanwhile, what's up with the Cafe? It definitely still has some secrets to hide. Let's reveal a couple, shall we?
S1E20 - Two Old Men and Some Camels
Wed, 29 Nov 2017 14:24:38 +0000
I've never been to Egypt myself, but I hear it's a nice place. But to an much more real extent, I've never been to 1920s Egypt within this particular universe. It does seem nice. It's got culture, unique affordable transport, fun outfits, but I just don't know if I could ever get past the horrible creatures of immense terror that inhabit the darkest corners of the place.The Infiniteers will most likely fare better. Probably. I give them at least 78 percent chance at better.
Wed, 22 Nov 2017 14:39:01 +0000
Yes, some creepy dude crashed the party. And yeah, a bunch of monsters starting attacking everyone. Sure, one could say that the Infiniteers are facing a more powerful enemy than they're capable of handling. But uh...Oh boy, I was trying to sound optimistic there. But true heroes shine even in the face of a no win scenario. So I guess we'll find out if these guys are true heroes or not. Bright side, however this goes down, they can still make anyone crack a smile.
S1E18 - The Playthings of Shadows
Wed, 15 Nov 2017 14:24:11 +0000
Arkham has somehow managed to pull them back in, and on this day that means more than any other. See, in the Call of Cthulhu world, it's finally Halloween. Pranks, mischief, spooks, treats, and tricks all await the Infiniteers on this festive occasion. Will they be able to handle it all, or will the lurking insanity that's been just out of sight this whole time finally catch up with them? I just don't know. Well, okay I do. But that would be telling.
S1E17 - The Bunker Hills Have Eyes Motel
Wed, 08 Nov 2017 14:06:32 +0000
How do you fight a giant bug monster? No seriously, I'm asking. Cause from my perspective it just seems impossible. Oh right, there's actually two of them. My mistake. Where do the bugs even come from, though? Do you think there's really that many all around you, even right now? It freaks me out just to think of them. Hopefully these things go down quick, without too much collateral damage, where they can never creep anyone out ever again.
Wed, 01 Nov 2017 13:20:05 +0000
Do you like murder, intrigue, and long drives out to the country? Then this episode is definitely for you! With only one real lead to go on, the Infiniteers head outside Arkham for the first time since their arrival in this world. Yes, surprisingly there is an entire world outside the oppression and gloom contained within the city limits. Unfortunately, what they find at their destination is like, prime Arkham material. I'm talking pure, concentrated, full pulp Arkham. Have fun with that!
S1E15 - A 1920s Mulan Scenario
Wed, 25 Oct 2017 14:15:55 +0000
The trap is set, the pieces are in place, the only question left is will this actually work? But the truth is that it doesn't matter, having the confidence to take a stand against evil should be its own reward, even if things don't pan out as you expected. And they certainly don't, here. Justice is its own reward, they say. But they also say it's the thought that counts. I could go on listing pointless idioms all day, really. But know this: you should definitely listen to this episode.
S1E14 - Sorry About Your Watermelon
Wed, 18 Oct 2017 13:58:59 +0000
After all this time, will the Infiniteers ever be together again? Yes. Yes they will. That was a spoiler, but I had to reveal it so I could reveal this: once they are, it's far from the best day ever. For example, what kind of lie is audacious enough to convince a mother to turn a blind eye to her son's recent insane behavior? How difficult can it be to unite a team toward a common goal? And why did I not name this episode "Charles the Librarian Finds a Book"? Well, I can only answer that last one. Because I thought the thing with the Watermelon was funnier. Sorry, Josh.
Wed, 11 Oct 2017 06:01:58 +0000
Never split the party. First rule of tabletop gaming, that's what they tell you. Well, this episode marks a momentous occasion where we broke that rule, and paid for it. It's tempting to split up when you're in the moment. Call it the Scooby Doo Effect. There's advantages in gaining access to more clues, accomplishing more at once, and everyone has less chance that they'll fade into the background, lonely and forgotten while other characters spring to the forefront of the story. What was our reasoning? What can I say, really. Nobody else wanted to have lunch with Issac's mom.
Wed, 04 Oct 2017 14:01:10 +0000
Man, it's really difficult balancing what we know and what our original personalities know, you know? As we get closer to discovering why the rum's gone, we also get closer to blowing our cover and losing our sanity. It kinda sucks constantly having a watchdog on us, barely having a chance to take stock of the situation and try to figure out what's really going on. It's an impossible situation, listen as we struggle through it.
S1E11 - Family, Friends, and a Whole Lotta Crazy
Wed, 27 Sep 2017 14:07:53 +0000
New world, new rules. And I mean that literally. Throw out your D20's, folks. You won't need them here. But that's not all, as the Infiniteers discover some surprises waiting for them. For example, why did only three of them make it to the landing site? Seems like the obstacles in front of them might be a little tough to fight through this time. Which actually when you think about it, might be a good thing. They didn't do so well with the fighting last time.
Sat, 23 Sep 2017 19:33:20 +0000
In this optional episode, the hosts of ToN review the Dungeons and Dragons system and talk about how are characters had to change to fit into the brand new system that we will be using as of Episode 11. It's a great time for everyone, some might say it's an adventure! Waddy. It was Waddy who said that, he's sitting right next to me.
Wed, 20 Sep 2017 14:12:04 +0000
It's funny. You never think of yourself as like, ready and willing to face evil incarnate. Life just throws it at you when you're least expecting it. So how do the newly christened Infiniteers fare when they're thrown that kind of fast ball? Well, you'll just have to find out. But I will say not everyone's happy on their return to the Cafe. I can't speak for the whole world here, but he doesn't come off as the most trustworthy person in the multiverse, you know?
Wed, 13 Sep 2017 13:44:55 +0000
What does that thing do? How are the Players going to save the world? You wanted answers? Here you go! But fair warning, you did ask for them. Everyone comes together and tries to do their part to enact a plan that may succeed or fail. Holy crap writing a description for this episode is hard. What do you want from me? There are spoilers within the first thirty seconds and it just gets worse from there! So this is how I'm handling it. Filler text for everyone!
S1E08 - The Thunder Down Underdark
Wed, 06 Sep 2017 14:30:16 +0000
Hondo's tracking efforts miraculously pay off and lead everyone to a cave system outside the lost Underdark city. The Players discover the secret of the cult. There may or may not be a battle. One of their own may or may not pay a great cost. Other things may or may not happen, but you can be sure that it's one of the most exciting episodes yet.
S1E07 - Your Classic Rock and Tentacle Conundrum
Wed, 30 Aug 2017 13:41:09 +0000
It's finally time to head into the Underdark. What secrets will the Players find inside? What mysteries will be unveiled? What other questions could you possibly have? Never fear, the answers lie ahead...After a healthy serving of hopefully good-natured ribbing and a not so healthy serving of getting really close to death.
Wed, 23 Aug 2017 13:07:57 +0000
Deep inside the heart of Ishmarr Castle, The Players discover a captured Drow female. Is she friend? Foe? What does this mean for the King, and the mission he's requested? Well a fight breaks out, I can tell you that much. And some stuff happens with a basket of pastries. And they're all just real, real bad at fighting.
Wed, 16 Aug 2017 13:53:56 +0000
The long road to Ishmarr gets a lot shorter as The Players finally arrive in the city. Now all they have to do is survive until their audience with the King. But this is no easy task on the streets of Ishmarr, what with the baker's dozens of bakers, countless religions and churches, food that may or may not kill you, and existential crisis everywhere you look. The world is different, alright. But The Players are discovering that they could find something familiar in each other.
Thu, 10 Aug 2017 14:30:46 +0000
After a long night of restless sleep and drunk texting, The Players decide to resupply before heading out to the Kingdom of Ishmarr, with no other choice but to use weapons and armor they'd normally find primitive. It's going to be a long, difficult road. And hey, what exactly did the Guard Captain mean when he said "The Underdark is rising?" They'll find out this episode, and it'll only cost the low, low price of their own blood.
Wed, 09 Aug 2017 22:24:05 +0000
On leaving the Cafe, The Players wind up in a world none of them are familiar with. There are people with strange clothing, entire species that didn't exist in their lives before, and they just happen to arrive on the day a local town is celebrating Market Day. The customs are odd, but at least the food is good. And is that...over on the horizon, do you see it? Could it be the entrance to a Dungeon? Or maybe it's a Dragon, resting in the valley.
Wed, 09 Aug 2017 22:20:57 +0000
In this optional episode, the hosts of ToN dive into what makes their characters tick, and how that information carried over into the world of Dungeons and Dragons. We also talk about the abilities they gained, the new classes they chose, and how decisions made in the D&D character creation informed the personalities of the characters before the podcast even started.
Wed, 09 Aug 2017 22:08:36 +0000
A Grand Hotel is discovered, Kirin's true name is revealed, and things only get weirder from there. Will The Players take Copernicus' offer? If so, where will they end up? Find out in the exciting conclusion...of the episodes that kick off an entire podcast
Wed, 09 Aug 2017 21:59:17 +0000
Join Issac Wexler, Thayne Dedrich, Chuck "The Midnight" Hondo, and Kirin - four strangers pulled together from worlds as different as their personalities. They'll explore a mysterious coffee shop, meet people who might not be people, and remember their deaths before being offered the most important repair job ever - repairing the multiverse. Their journey starts here.