Rude Alchemy
77 episodes
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Creator: Rude Alchemy
Synopsis:
A demented but lovable Narrator is your guide on a deliciously impolite audial frolic through multiple mad storyworlds of twisted history.
rudealchemy.substack.com
Genres: Horror, Comedy
Not tagged: [Format] [Continuity] [Voices] [Maturity] [Creator demographics] [Character demographics] [Country of origin] [Transcript] [Completion status] [Content warnings]
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Episodes:
75 Christmas at Bainbridge: A Carver Academy Christmas Special OR The Christmas Bone!
Fri, 27 Dec 2019 04:40:45 GMT
The Yuletide is upon Bainbridge Academy, and that can mean only one thing for Master Carvy and Master Baz: A Murther Investigation!
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74 LIVE Special: The Black Cat by E.A. Poe (Halloween)
Sun, 03 Nov 2019 16:43:59 GMT
Edgar Allen Poe had a lot of bad things happen to him – disease, addiction, election days… This is worse.
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
74 Chatter and Lore: Beastiary BS, RTW Trivia, & RSDMMH Guestiage
Thu, 05 Sep 2019 00:43:09 GMT
Resident Sound Designer Mr. Michael Hahn joins us for Beastiary talk/tales. Ryan almost kills Andrew with his game.
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Wed, 31 Jul 2019 23:30:25 GMT
The famed Beastiary is almost within our heroes’ fuzzy, feathery, leathery grasps! But some pages are best left un-turned.
The post 73 The Beastiary, Episode 3 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
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Wed, 31 Jul 2019 23:26:13 GMT
Inspired by the Tawny Owl’s words, our tamed trio sets out to plan their escape to the land of infinite mates!
The post 72 The Beastiary, Episode 2 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
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Wed, 31 Jul 2019 23:21:49 GMT
A lion, a tortoise, and a peacock begin to doubt their Zookeeper’s good-nature when their mates are abducted and singled out for ‘special attention.’
The post 71 The Beastiary, Episode 1 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
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70 Chatter and Lore: Questions, Quotes, & Quips… (same ol’ quintessential qrap)
Mon, 25 Feb 2019 02:17:52 GMT
We beat the round robin out of the Carver Academy bush, Tom cracks our skulls with ‘Who Said That?’, and Andy pitches a feature!
The post 70 Chatter and Lore: Questions, Quotes, & Quips… (same ol’ quintessential qrap) appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
69 (teehee) Carver Cranebottom: Academy! Episode 4
Fri, 01 Feb 2019 04:08:10 GMT
The long-awaited Cotillion is almost here! The perfect time for reconciliation…or revenge?! Find out in the finale!
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68 Carver Cranebottom: Academy! Episode 3
Fri, 01 Feb 2019 04:04:03 GMT
A tryst, a tale, and a beTrayal. Also shit-death. (It’s not what you think…ok maybe it is I don’t know what you associate with the phrase ‘shit-death.’)
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
67 Carver Cranebottom: Academy! Episode 2
Fri, 01 Feb 2019 04:00:12 GMT
Was it murder? Carvy thinks so – but Headmaster Crustwedge has other ideas.
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66 Carver Cranebottom: Academy! Episode 1
Fri, 01 Feb 2019 03:55:21 GMT
It’s a crisp autumn at Bainbridge Academy for Boys, and young Basil Basilton takes a strange and somber new student under his wing.
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65 Chatter and Lore: Spellin’ Bees and Spinnin’ Yarns
Wed, 01 Aug 2018 01:01:10 GMT
Tom leads a BRAND NEW GAME! Andrew utters sweet evil story nothings.
The post 65 Chatter and Lore: Spellin’ Bees and Spinnin’ Yarns appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
64 Poe Green and the Ghost Machine, Episode 7
Mon, 18 Jun 2018 02:21:18 GMT
Poe and Pa clash when the two opposing bands of spiritual warriors finally meet.
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
63 Chatter and Lore: Recollectin’ and Knife-Fightin’
Sun, 29 Apr 2018 23:59:48 GMT
We recall our embarrassing early correspondence and drop a new Mudd Rumpus track!
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
62 Poe Green and the Ghost Machine, Episode 6
Sun, 01 Apr 2018 05:30:43 GMT
Poe and pals prep for patricide. Meanwhile, Pa and pals ponder their pecking order.
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61 Poe Green and the Ghost Machine, Episode 5
Sun, 25 Feb 2018 21:45:14 GMT
Poe goes to Hell and has a heartwarming reunion with the Prince of Darkness.
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60 Chatter and Lore: The Worst One Ever
Sun, 28 Jan 2018 17:15:25 GMT
Even by our standards, this is a rough one. ENJOY!
The post 60 Chatter and Lore: The Worst One Ever appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
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59 (Christmas Special!) Carver Cranebottom and the Forgotten Shore
Mon, 25 Dec 2017 04:19:49 GMT
Murder! Mistletoe! Moorings! A merry maritime magniloquence crammed lovingly down your minced piehole.
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
58 LIVE Special: Classic Sherlock Holmes #4 (Christmas Holmes!)
Fri, 01 Dec 2017 03:22:19 GMT
We’re back at it again! Listen as we merrily mangle another classic old-time radio ‘Sherlock!’
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
57 The Jabez Flintwick Halloween Special!
Sun, 29 Oct 2017 17:57:27 GMT
Deep from the hellish bowels of the Rude Alchemy archives comes the cosmically horrifying tale of a post-Revolutionary Jabez Flintwick and his ultimate battle against the forces of evil.
The post 57 The Jabez Flintwick Halloween Special! appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
56 Chatter and Lore: Buffoon Stories and Gibber-Jabber 2
Sun, 24 Sep 2017 21:11:46 GMT
“Buffoon” Chatter, “Buffoon” Lore, and buffoons playing a buffoonish game buffooningly.
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
Sun, 27 Aug 2017 17:48:19 GMT
Bouffant Day arrives and it’s time for the final joke, but, who will be the butt?
The post 55 The Buffoon, Episode 3 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
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54 Chatter and Lore: Buffoon Stories and Gibber-Jabber 1
Sun, 30 Jul 2017 00:01:52 GMT
Buffoonery, “Whoooooo Said That?!”, and Andy’s story “Frenches” your earholes!
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Sun, 25 Jun 2017 04:08:02 GMT
Henri leads the ensemble in a Bouffant Day rehearsal that takes a sinister turn.
The post 53 The Buffoon, Episode 2 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
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Mon, 29 May 2017 03:48:56 GMT
In Medieval France, a rogueish nobleman, Henri, is disgraced and banished by his brother, Le Duc. When he meets a gruesome band of fellow exiles in the forest, he learns of an opportunity to clown his way to vengeance – Bouffant Day!
The post 52 The Buffoon, Episode 1 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
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51 LIVE Special: Classic Sherlock Holmes #3
Sun, 30 Apr 2017 07:17:09 GMT
Listen in horror as we mangle yet another classic Sherlock Holmes old-time radio script in this re-broadcast of our LIVE special from 4.25.17! (Also, stay tuned ’til the end when we *almost* reveal the title of our next season!)
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
50 Chatter and Lore: Bruff Stories and Gibber-Jabber 6
Sun, 26 Mar 2017 20:52:46 GMT
Listen as we put each other to the question, submit to Tom’s sick “weird history” mind game, and drink deep of the ear poison secreted by Andrew’s potent story-sack.
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
49 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 8
Mon, 27 Feb 2017 15:26:06 GMT
SEASON FINALE: The fate of Yugoslavia hangs in the balance as the true contents of the mysterious crate are revealed!
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Fri, 03 Feb 2017 20:40:58 GMT
Just a quick check-in to tell you where we’ve been, where we’re headed, and to offer cheap, dirty promises.
The post *Programming Update* appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
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48 Chatter and Lore: Bruff Stories and Gibber-Jabber 5
Sun, 25 Dec 2016 00:00:36 GMT
Plug us into your earbones and listen as we talk Bruff, get weird, speak poems, and answer listener questions with our trademark grace and profundity.
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
47 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 7
Sun, 27 Nov 2016 18:29:59 GMT
Bruff and Fable tussle with Tangier and try to torture the truth out of the tight-lipped tall-man.
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46 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 6
Sun, 16 Oct 2016 16:12:49 GMT
Fresh from the Atlantian disaster, Bruff learns he’s become an international scapegoat and must seek shelter from the guns of the FAA in the sky fortress of some pint-sized ne’er-do-wells.
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*IMPROVED AUDIO* 45 Chatter and Lore: Poe Stories and Gibber-jabber 2
Sat, 10 Sep 2016 03:07:30 GMT
(This is a re-release to correct an audio oddity.) Join us as we ‘Poe’st-Mortem, play The Rudiverse Dating Game, listen to Andy’s Bonus ‘Poe’ Tale, and ANNOUNCE SEASON 7!
The post *IMPROVED AUDIO* 45 Chatter and Lore: Poe Stories and Gibber-jabber 2 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
44 Poe Green and the Ghost Machine, Episode 4
Sun, 31 Jul 2016 14:04:20 GMT
Poe comes face to face with his abductors, learns the truth about Gerald, and alters the fate of humanity.
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43 Poe Green and the Ghost Machine, Episode 3
Sun, 19 Jun 2016 20:00:44 GMT
While reeling from Raif’s betrayal, Poe and Gerald journey off to find the mysterious Ectoplasmytes.
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
42 Chatter and Lore: Poe Stories and Gibber-jabber 1
Tue, 14 Jun 2016 22:43:14 GMT
We chatter like school-children about Poe, play ‘Freestyle Writing,’ and listen dreamily as Andrew regales us with a Poe song!
The post 42 Chatter and Lore: Poe Stories and Gibber-jabber 1 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
41 Poe Green and the Ghost Machine, Episode 2
Sun, 22 May 2016 22:01:53 GMT
After unlocking Harold’s spectral voice, Poe learns some dangerous information.
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40 Poe Green and the Ghost Machine, Episode 1
Sun, 24 Apr 2016 18:58:45 GMT
In America’s dustbowl, amateur inventor Poe Green looks for a way to communicate with the speech-less ghosts inhabiting his town.
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39 Chatter and Lore: Carver Stories and Gibber-jabber 4
Mon, 07 Mar 2016 03:29:32 GMT
We post-mortem “Carver” Chapter 2, play some ‘Who Said That?’, and listen to a bonus Carver story from Ryan! (Also, the next season’s title is announced!)
The post 39 Chatter and Lore: Carver Stories and Gibber-jabber 4 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
38 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 9
Mon, 29 Feb 2016 04:21:33 GMT
On a collision course with the demons of his mind, the demons of corruption, and… well… the freakin’ DEMON… Carver heads to London.
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37 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 8
Sun, 14 Feb 2016 20:20:23 GMT
Carver and Basil unearth shocking familial secrets in the hidden tunnels of the Dunrook estate.
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36 Chatter and Lore: Carver Stories and Gibber-jabber 3
Wed, 10 Feb 2016 15:22:59 GMT
We chat about the return of Carver, play some Victorian Weird History, and listen to a bonus Carver story from Andy!
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
35 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 7
Sun, 31 Jan 2016 17:50:10 GMT
Carver and Basil delve into the Dunrook’s sinister family history while Carver fights to control his growing violent urges.
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34 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 6
Sun, 17 Jan 2016 05:30:50 GMT
‘Carver Cranebottom’ Continues! With the country blighted by the ash and smoke of the unleashed demon, Carver and Basil return to the original scene of the crime.
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33 The Carver Cranebottom Christmas Special!
Tue, 22 Dec 2015 01:43:16 GMT
Pull up a reindeer pelt and sweat next to the Narrator’s roaring fire as he spins a ‘Carver’ Christmas yarn fit to pop your chestnuts!
The post 33 The Carver Cranebottom Christmas Special! appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
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32 Chatter and Lore: Jabez Stories and Gibber-Jabber 2
Sun, 29 Nov 2015 05:16:15 GMT
Wrap up Jabez with a bonus tale from Andrew, play along with ‘What Would Daddy Tom Do?’ and listen ’til the end to hear the title of our next season and a special announcement!
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31 Jabez Flintwick: Salem Patriot, Episode 5
Mon, 23 Nov 2015 04:47:41 GMT
The Battle of Salem begins! Can Jabez mend the rifts between the ranks of men in time to stop Thorndike and his brood?
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30 Jabez Flintwick: Salem Patriot, Episode 4
Sun, 08 Nov 2015 22:17:29 GMT
A letter from General Ward forces Jabez to change course. Meanwhile, dissension continues to fester.
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29 Chatter and Lore: Jabez Stories and Gibber-Jabber 1
Sun, 01 Nov 2015 02:01:38 GMT
Fill your ears deep with Jabez talk, a new game, and raw, uncut Jabez lore from Ryan!
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28 Jabez Flintwick: Salem Patriot, Episode 3
Sun, 25 Oct 2015 04:00:18 GMT
Jabez deals with challenges to his authority and reflects on his tumultuous childhood.
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27 Jabez Flintwick: Salem Patriot, Episode 2
Mon, 12 Oct 2015 03:28:41 GMT
Jabez hangs around with Thorndike and learns of a much greater foe than the British!
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26 Jabez Flintwick: Salem Patriot, Episode 1
Mon, 28 Sep 2015 01:14:08 GMT
Preparing for revolution, Captain Jabez Flintwick of the Continental Army seeks recruits in Salem, Massachusetts. Instead, he runs headfirst into the town’s dark history… and his own.
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25 LIVE Special: Classic Sherlock Holmes #2
Sun, 20 Sep 2015 06:02:07 GMT
This LIVE broadcast was recorded on 9.17.15. Listen as we quasi-extemporaneously misinterpret a classic Sherlock Holmes radio play. (The audio quality is a little special at times, so listen at your own risk!)
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
24 Chatter and Lore: Plague Stories and Gibber-Jabber 2
Sun, 30 Aug 2015 00:01:49 GMT
We say farewell to The Plague Clowns, bicker through Weird History, and listen as Tom regales us with a Plague tale!
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23 The Plague Clowns, Episode 5
Mon, 24 Aug 2015 04:40:20 GMT
After the violent chaos of the quarantine, the troupe must perform one final time… But what’s in store after the curtain falls?
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22 The Plague Clowns, Episode 4
Mon, 10 Aug 2015 04:25:41 GMT
The quarantine descends into violence and the players are trapped into a confrontation with the past.
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21 Chatter and Lore: Plague Stories and Gibber-Jabber 1
Sun, 02 Aug 2015 00:01:38 GMT
We talk Plague Clowns, hiss-laugh through bloopers, and unearth the bawdy poetry of Wolstan Poorgrave!
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20 The Plague Clowns, Episode 3
Sun, 26 Jul 2015 04:50:01 GMT
The players face a bloodthirsty Pal Golian mob and struggle to reconnect with some long-lost troupe members.
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19 The Plague Clowns, Episode 2
Sun, 12 Jul 2015 00:01:41 GMT
After staring death in the face, the Clowns must perform for the rowdy Pal Golians.. But what grim ovation awaits after the encore?
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18 The Plague Clowns, Episode 1
Sun, 28 Jun 2015 16:44:53 GMT
Seeking the fortune promised by a mysterious contest, the remaining members of three disparate, travel-worn, Renaissance theatrical troupes must band together to perform for the Eastern European town of Pal Gol and its enigmatic Master of Revels.
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17 LIVE Special: Classic Sherlock Holmes
Sun, 21 Jun 2015 21:46:17 GMT
This experimental LIVE broadcast was recorded on 6.18.15. We do injustice to a Sherlock Holmes Old Time Radio classic! (This event was in-part experimental, so the audio quality is a little special. Listen at your own risk!)
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
16 Chatter and Lore: Bruff Stories and Gibber-Jabber 4
Sun, 07 Jun 2015 00:00:13 GMT
The Narrator joins us to face the ultimate humiliation of playing #NarratorSays! Plus, a bonus Bruff story from Tom!
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
15 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 5
Mon, 01 Jun 2015 01:39:41 GMT
The season finale. Bruff battles the Anarchists and the Sky Pirates in a frantic plea to rescue his brother and save the sinking Atlantian. (Cover Art for this episode provided by contest winner Oriana Carciente)
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14 Chatter and Lore: Bruff Stories and Gibber-Jabber 3
Sun, 24 May 2015 17:32:56 GMT
Watch out! It’s Tom’s Revenge when we play more Weird History; plus, a bonus Bruff story from Andrew!
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
13 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 4
Sun, 17 May 2015 20:14:49 GMT
Sky Pirates wreak havoc on the Atlantian, but an unlikely foe emerges to meet them in battle.
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
12 Chatter and Lore: Bruff Stories and Gibber-Jabber 2
Sun, 10 May 2015 06:01:26 GMT
Mayhem ensues when we play Carver vs Bruff Death Match; plus, a bonus Bruff story from Ryan!
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
11 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 3
Mon, 04 May 2015 04:30:09 GMT
Bruff reaches higher heights of daring, explores his shared history with Whyff, and encounters a strangely familiar thief.
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
10 Chatter and Lore: Bruff Stories and Gibber-Jabber 1
Sun, 26 Apr 2015 04:24:16 GMT
Dive deep into Bruff, play Weird History, and treat your ears to a bonus Bruff tale!
The post 10 Chatter and Lore: Bruff Stories and Gibber-Jabber 1 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
9 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 2
Sun, 19 Apr 2015 17:35:12 GMT
Bruff attempts to unload Whyff, tests his sky legs, and encounters new dangers aboard The Atlantian.
The post 9 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 2 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
8 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 1
Sun, 05 Apr 2015 07:13:14 GMT
In old New York, Bruff Taxwynd, an ex-con sailor and part-time pugilist, confronts a long-lost relative, his own humiliating past, and the looming winds of the future.
The post 8 Bruff Taxwynd: Sky Sailor, Episode 1 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
7 Chatter and Lore: Carver Stories and Gibber-jabber 2
Sun, 15 Mar 2015 05:45:42 GMT
Wrap up Season 1, hear more thrilling Carver tales, and find out the title of Season 2!
The post 7 Chatter and Lore: Carver Stories and Gibber-jabber 2 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
6 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 5
Sun, 08 Mar 2015 17:42:09 GMT
The conclusion, the truth, an awakening, and the beginning of the end of all we know.
The post 6 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 5 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
5 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 4
Mon, 23 Feb 2015 05:02:10 GMT
Newly exonerated, Carver seeks out the mysterious woman who may be the link to the missing bones.
The post 5 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 4 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
4 Chatter and Lore: Carver Stories and Gibber-jabber 1
Sun, 15 Feb 2015 16:21:24 GMT
Meet the creators of Rude Alchemy and listen to them perform bonus Carver tales!
The post 4 Chatter and Lore: Carver Stories and Gibber-jabber 1 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
3 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 3
Sun, 08 Feb 2015 02:57:34 GMT
Fleeing the authorities, Carver takes refuge in a spooky old inn where a crusty crone spins stories of a haunting shared past.
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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
2 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 2
Sun, 08 Feb 2015 02:51:41 GMT
Wrongfully imprisoned, Carver is cellmated with a homicidal basket-case, and must follow the madman’s instructions in order to escape.
The post 2 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 2 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com
1 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 1
Tue, 27 Jan 2015 00:10:52 GMT
In Victorian England, eccentric crypto-anthropolgist Carver Cranebottom is brought onto a murder-theft case involving some enormous missing bones.
The post 1 Carver Cranebottom: Bone Detective, Episode 1 appeared first on Rude Alchemy.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rudealchemy.substack.com