The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
63 episodes
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Creator: Blackbird Crow Raven
Audio Book
Synopsis:
In this podiobook: In 'The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle' (book II of a trilogy, and the first one recorded), Warble Poundcake McGorkle and his entourage (wife, employees, a sales team, and a canine) travel back in time to revise history.Their meddling in events during American Revolutionary War Times, at Custer's Last Stand, the Alamo, Woodstock, and many other pivotal events--as well as a detour to 1st Century Jerusalem to kidnap Jesus (or Judas)--leads to catastrophic consequences for those living in modern times. Among the things Warble and his gang perpetrate are:1. Banishing George Washington to England for inventing the peanut (and thus being responsible for 'Peanut Envy')2. 'Helping out' at the Alamo, so that it's the Mexicans who ultimately get 'saddled' with Texas3. Originating Pre-emptive Strikes (umpires calling strikes before the ball is thrown)4. Changing song lyrics at Woodstock to influence the politics and modify the personalities of the concert-goers These are just a few of the outrageous shenanigans that culminate in a climactic scene as the protagonists return to the present and see what their changes have wrought.
Language: English
Format: Audio Book
Writing: Scripted
Completion status: Finished
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Episodes:
Chapter the Last (61) - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Wed, 31 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Comfy Stolen, Arodnap salesman, prevents Mary from destroying the Arodnap. Leaving the way open for a sequel (the third installment of the "Warble McGorkle trilogy"), Mary persuades Warble to this time go forward, not backward, in time.
Chapter 60 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Tue, 30 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: After Warble is handcuffed, he sends Mary a "Morse code message" (by winking with his eyes), and she dashes to the Arodnap to "undo" all the mischief they have perpetrated, in order to get Warble out of his fix. After successfully
Chapter 59 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Mon, 29 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble and his troupe arrive back home, only to see that the world has changed drastically. Warble sees no problem, but his wife is devastated on seeing the way the environment has suffered from Warble's meddlings. Then, a pair of police officers app
Chapter 58 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sun, 28 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: The end results of Warble's fooling around at Woodstock are summarized, and he then reluctantly agrees to return to the group's point of departure: Oconomowoc, Wisconsin, in 2009.
Chapter 57 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sat, 27 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble talks about Polled Herefords (who determined the course of commerce) and goes into a related Rumsfield-esque explanation about donuts. Warble then gets the musicians to play "hawkish" music, encouraging all to give up the peace movem
Chapter 56 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Fri, 26 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble takes his employees, wife, and Arodnap salesman and mechanic along to Woodstock in 1969. Warble waxes poetic about violence, propoganda, and "superliminal" messages.
Chapter 55 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Thu, 25 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Judas readily agrees to accompany our band of misfits back to the 21st Century (Warble promises him swimming pools, movie starlets, and mansions - all of which he has to describe to Judas, who has never heard of any of them). Warble instructs Judas i
Chapter 54 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Wed, 24 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: For once, Warble's traveling companions put their foot down and will not allow him to kidnap Jesus. After sulking for awhile, Warble decides to "follow tradition and settle for an imposter" - namely Judas.
Chapter 53 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Tue, 23 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: For their only trip outside the United States, and the one furthest back in time, Warble and his crew go to Jerusalem, 29 C.E./A.D. Warble's plan? To kidnap Jesus, and bring him forward in time to run for President of the United States.
Chapter 52 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Mon, 22 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: After hiring Mexicans (from whom he wants to keep "his" water) to do the actual work on the dam projects, Warble schleps his companions along on a trip to Plymouth, Massachusetts, to convince the "founding fathers and mothers" to
Chapter 51 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sun, 21 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Arriving in St. Louis, Missouri, in 1913, at the confluence of the Missouri and Mississippi Rivers, Warble delineates his plan to impound all the waters in the country for the benefit of himself and the other citizens of what he says will henceforth
Chapter 50 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sat, 20 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: In a rare moment of magnanimity, Warble congratulates Jacques LaRue, his personal fitness trainer, for bringing to mind thoughts of water -- which gives him the idea to "arrest" all the water and retain it for the sole use of his fellow con
Chapter 49 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Fri, 19 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: At the point of the nightmare where Mary is about to be executed, Warble is awakened by a bucketfull of cold water (his entourage had seen the need for such by his frenzied flailing about and high-pitched wailing). He immediately forgets the nightmar
Chapter 48 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Thu, 18 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble has a nightmare, wherein he and his wife Mary are back home (in their accustomed time and space/area), and they are destitute. Even worse, Mary is about to be murdered by some "euthenizing sportsmen" engaged in a government-sponsored
Chapter 47 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Wed, 17 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble threatens to fire Albert. Albert reminds Warble that he does not work for him. Nevertheless, the threats continue, to both Albert and his dog. Then, Warble drifts into sleep.
Chapter 46 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Tue, 16 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Selecting Minnie Pearl as his model, Warble tells his troupe that he intends to give everything in the world a price tag: both animate and inanimate things, regardless of whether they are sunrises, sunsets, Haiku poetry, fish-finders, or anything els
Chapter 45 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Mon, 15 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble boasts about his accomplishments so far, and then decides to create one world currency (the dollar). Albert Joad's dog Taterskin prances around the group, and both Warble and Albert are wrong about why the dog seems so energized and happy.
Chapter 44 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sun, 14 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble and his gang go to Boston, Massachusetts, 1980 to put a stop to Keith "McHank" and "Food Not Bombs." He decides to criminalize the giving away of food, unless the parties first pay $3.14 billions to do so.
Chapter 43 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sat, 13 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble pictures himself immortalized on Mount Rushmore -- whether that means that "one of the other geezers" will have to come down, or "they have to add on to the mountain." He tells more "stretchers" and outright lies
Chapter 42 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Fri, 12 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble decides to take on the person he considers to be the most dangerous to the United States and its way of life: Keith McHenry, the founder of "Food Not Bombs"
Chapter 41 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Thu, 11 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble continues with his version of what happened at Custer's Last Stand, including Dustin Hoffman and Regis Philbin in the tale.
Chapter 40 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Wed, 10 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble crash-lands on the banks of the Greasy Grass River, and an argument ensues. Once Warble quells the near-mutiny, he tells his version of what happened with Sitting Bull, George "Strongarm" Custer, and "Mad Cow" (Crazy Horse)
Chapter 39 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Tue, 09 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble marches his crew back to the Arodnap, "Marine style," having them "sound off" while following him. By means of an off-the-cuff tone-poem, Warble lets them know where they are heading next: 1876 Montana (Custer's Last Stand)
Chapter 38 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Mon, 08 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: A "team building exercise" is initiated by Warble - -a date fight. Jacques, being an athlete and adept at throwing things accurately, wins, but Warble gives him an ultimatum: Admit that Warble actually won, or take a cut in pay.
Chapter 37 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sun, 07 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble relates how beneficial his planned International Fig Line will be, allowing people to walk all the way around the world naked. He explains how they will dispose of the dates from the ripped-out date palms: throw them into the Saar Chasm, which
Chapter 36 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sat, 06 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble informs his crew that their new location on the Gilbert Islands is where the Internation Date Line originates, and determines to replace it with the International Fig Line -- claiming that the line of Date trees emanating from there will turn
Chapter 35 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Fri, 05 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: After basking in the glow of saving the world from the enervating effect of the color yellow, Warble plans his next bit of mischief and decides on going to the Gilbert Islands in Kiribati in 1492.
Chapter 34 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Thu, 04 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble follows through with his diabolical plan to embarrass the erstwhile athletes by proclaiming: "It's a Good Day to Dye!" and then dying their follicles in colors and patterns not even Dennis Rodman would approve of. The pitiable trio a
Chapter 33 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Wed, 03 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Reversing his tactics, Warble feeds the captured trio their choice of "Ice" (Italian Ice). He expounds on the origin on the Italian Ice Age, Italian Sauce Age, etc., before coming up with another idea for torturing Tony, Orlando, and Don: D
Chapter 32 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Tue, 02 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble has his security expert, Marianne Trieste-Trench, "soften up" the kidnapped trio by a form of torture: reading to them the entire Constitution (including the Preamble and "Postamble"), the Gettysburg Address, the Enron Corp
Chapter 31 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Mon, 01 Jan 2007 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble has Tony, Orlando, and Don shrunk with the MC/D and stores them in a Coricidrin bottle until they get to their "hideout," a rented mini-storage unit.
Chapter 30 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sat, 30 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble and the gang spot Tony, Orlando, and Don golfing in Philadelphia, and Warble devises a plan to kidnap and shrink them using the MC/D (Material Compressor/Decompressor).
Chapter 29 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Fri, 29 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble informs his people that their next stop in history will be 1976, where they must put a stop to the "yellowing of America" caused by Tony, Orlando, and Don (Conigliaro, Cepeda, and Mattingly) when they performed "Tie a Yellow Rib
Chapter 28 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Thu, 28 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble sets things up so that it will be easy for the Mexicans to win at San Jacinto, and thus get "saddled" with Texas - he has "his" man build a bridge, supply stacks of "carte blanche" green cards, and posts signs po
Chapter 27 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Wed, 27 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: The victorious Texicans celebrate their victory with a party, where they drink Texas tea and dance the Texas two-step. Ward Robespierre, who had fallen off the Alamo, is found by Warble sleeping at the foot of the wall, his fall having been broken b
Chapter 26 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Tue, 26 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Bowled over by Texas-sized donuts raining from the sky, the Mexicans retreat, calling on their band, the Tijuana Brass, to play "Spanish Flea" as they go.
Chapter 25 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Mon, 25 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: The Mexicans attack, and the Texicans fire on them with pungent chili. Warble experiences a "wardrobe malfunction" as the heel of his boot is blown off by a Mexican teeny-meeny ball (Mexico's answer to the minie ball) while he is dancing a
Chapter 24 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sun, 24 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: We meet several other interesting characters at the Alamo, such as Tanglefoot Popskull, Flapjack Wormcastle, Zanzibar Ricochet, and Willie Nelson Miles Standish. Warble presses them into service cooking chili and frying donuts -- to be used as ammo a
Chapter 23 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sat, 23 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble and his gang travel to 1836 Texas - -to the Alamo, and meet Davy Crockett, William Travis, and Jim Bridger.
Chapter 22 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Fri, 22 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble tracks down George Washington, yanks off his wig, saws a piece of one of his wooden teeth off, and sends him back to England on a pea-green ship bound for Newcastle filled with coal.
Chapter 21 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Thu, 21 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble recounts all the tragedies of history that can be laid at the feet of George Washington because of people forgetting things (because they didn't have an elephant assistant to remind them). Among other things (according to Warble), the Spanish
Chapter 20 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Wed, 20 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble explains how we would all have PPAs (Personal Pachyderm Assistants) if not for George Washington, and how grand life would have been had we all had one.
Chapter 19 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Tue, 19 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble tells of the Great Peanut Wars of Old Europe, and how George Washington's inventing the peanut caused all the Elephants of the American Plains to starve, once humans acquired a taste for them (peanuts, not elephants).
Chapter 18 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Mon, 18 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble contends that George Washington invented the peanut, which brought on all sorts of problems, such as "Peanut Envy." He also explains what the "Wide man's burden" is.
Chapter 17 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sun, 17 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble shrinks the Helphino with the MC/D (Material Compressor/Decompressor) and places it in the Arodnap's trunk. He then informs his traveling companions that they must now go back to 1776 to evict a traitor (George Washington!) from the country.
Chapter 16 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sat, 16 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble returns from his trip to the exotic pet store with an additional animal--a Helephino, which is part Hyena, part Elephant, and part Rhino. He also tells his entourage a wacky tale about the elephants of the American Plains.
Chapter 15 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Fri, 15 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: On arriving in Silver Spring, Maryland, Warble assigns each of his employees (and Comfy and Albert, too) to fan out and buy all the birds they can from every pet store in town--he wants to inundate Rachel Carson's neighborhood, and more particularly
Chapter 14 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Thu, 14 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: After bribing the rulesmakers to institute his Preemptive Strike Rule in baseball, Warble turns his attention to the next item on his agenda: Preventing Rachel Carson (who he thinks is Johnny's daughter) from writing "Silent Spring."
Chapter 13 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Wed, 13 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: On arrival in Cooperstown, it is found that, indeed, the Arodnap prototype is not quite ready for "prime time" yet: Albert's puppy Taterskin has changed into a full-grown Labrador Retriever.
Chapter 12 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Tue, 12 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: We learn more about the Arodnap, specifically its After Burner Switch and its speed (Mach Pi, which is explained in great detail by the Arodnap mechanic, Albert Joad).
Chapter 11 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Mon, 11 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble sings his own idiosyncratic ("idiot-synchronized"?) version of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and explains the historical significance of Atlanta Braves fans doing "The Wave"
Chapter 10 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sun, 10 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble explains to his employees why they must change the rules of baseball and introduce Preemptive Strikes (where the Umpire calls Strikes before the ball is even thrown).
Chapter 9 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sat, 09 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: While piloting his captive "audience" to Cooperstown, New York, 1992, Warble tells them a mixed-up tale of Little Miss Muffett, Jimmy Buffett, and W. Somersault Milkshake (W. Somerset Maughan).
Chapter 8 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Fri, 08 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble's employees arrive and are introduced (more formally than in the Frontispiece). Warble explains the advantages of using French lingo whenever possible, and then tricks Comfy and Albert, "kidnapping" them and commandeers the Arodnap.
Chapter 7 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Thu, 07 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble calls his employees and orders them to report to him at the McGorkle mansion immediately. Mary tries to get out of it, but Warble also forces her to go along on the little joy ride he has planned.
Chapter 6 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble's wife Mary is introduced, and an odd recommendation is made to readers unfamiliar with American culture.
Chapter 5 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Tue, 05 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: More on the Arodnap's features, including the MC/D (Material Compressor/Decompressor). Also, Comfy and Albert tell Warble that the only place the prototype Arodnap can safely go at present is to the Ed Sullivan Show, 1956, to see Elvis Presley make
Chapter 4 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Mon, 04 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: The Arodnap's appearance and features are described. It can travel through time and space, and has VTOL capabilities.
Chapter 3 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sun, 03 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Salesman Comfy Stolen and mechanic Albert Joad arrive at the McGorkle household, in an attempt to interest Warble in a prototype of the Arodnap, a time-travel vehicle patterned after George Jetson's aircraft.
Chapter 2 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sat, 02 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble informs his wife of his intent to go back in time to accelerate globalization, make many "nuisance" animals extinct, and create a master race based on himself.
Chapter 1 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Sat, 02 Dec 2006 02:30:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble decides to downsize his stable of automobiles from thirty to seven, fire one of his mechanics, and become a philanthropist.
Chapter 0 - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Fri, 01 Dec 2006 18:30:00 +0000
-In this episode: Warble McGorkle's current situation is detailed: He is rich, bored, and in search of adventure and fame.
1. Frontispiece and Preface - The Zany Time Travels of Warble McGorkle
Fri, 01 Dec 2006 17:00:00 +0000
-In this episode: The Frontispiece divulges the plot in very general terms, introduces the cast of characters, and warns the readers in Twainesque fashion. The Preface introduces the readership/hearers to the main protagonist and his qwirks, with an oblique allusion t