Telepathic Hold Music. (New phone, Who dis!)

Thu, 11 Dec 2025 15:00:00 GMT

This week on ChronoCast, thoughts are buffering, mirrors are petty, and the word “telephone” doesn’t mean what it used to.

Zaxx receives glitchmail from reflective oracles, emotionally needy toothbrushes, and one listener whose coworker is trapped in ringtone purgatory.

Meanwhile, Hoppr Support blames everything on historical autocorrect — including why your fridge now salutes you and demands a national anthem.

Then it happens: a telepathic update bug sends entire populations spiraling into public reenactments of Renaissance battles, musical mashups, or ancestral social media memories.

You know, typical phone issues.

🎭 Sponsored by StreamThineSelf™ and WrappedScrolls™ — because the only thing worse than oversharing is doing it across centuries.

Next time on ChronoCast:

A forbidden scent that makes you remember who you were almost supposed to be.

Blackout Friday

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 15:00:00 GMT

ChronoCast – Episode 20: “Blackout Friday"

Reality crashes during seasonal sales, the parking lot develops a sixth level that wasn’t there yesterday, and shopping carts now require a DNA link to steer.

Zaxx navigates the cosmic chaos of 3125’s holiday rush — including glitchmail from frustrated gift-buyers, a support call about interdimensional return policies, and one shopper trapped in a “Buy One, Loop Forever” loop.

🌀 Headline meltdown

📡 Glitchmail confusion

☎️ Hoppr Support denial

🎁 Feature segment: Holiday shopping... gone quantum

Happy ThanksGifting. May your receipt be printable.

⁠

#ChronoCast #HolidayGlitch #SciFiPodcast #ComedyPodcast #FictionPodcast #BlackHoleFriday #ShoppingChaos #HopprSupport #ZaxxOrion

Thanks for Nothing!

Thu, 27 Nov 2025 15:00:00 GMT

🦃 Episode 19 – “Thanks for Nothing”

In the year 3125, even gratitude has a glitch.

This week on ChronoCast:

A mandatory gratitude app, haunted leftovers, and a dining table that flips itself when you pick the wrong stuffing. Zaxx navigates the hyper-digitized nightmare of Thanksgiving in the future — where family arguments are streamed, stuffing is self-aware, and your fridge won't open unless you cry.

📡 Glitchmail includes:

• A smart kitchen that seasons your trauma

• DRM-protected prayers

• Passive-aggressive wallpaper... again

☎️ Hoppr Support tackles a gravy dispute turned emotional hostage situation.

Featuring an unwanted guest Zaxx is calling, "Matthew"

Now Playing...Forever!

Thu, 20 Nov 2025 15:00:00 GMT

🎬 Now Playing… Forever
ChronoCast – Episode 18

Step into the reel.

In the Glitched Zones, movies aren’t just watched — they’re lived. One ticket. One choice. One eternity in rom-com purgatory or indie existential dread. Zaxx Orion returns to warn you what happens when cinema becomes legally binding.

Plus:
– Emotional bounce houses now require waivers
– Dream subscriptions come with retroactive charges
– And Hoppr Support tackles a haunted doorbell with attitude

Remember: You are what you watch. Choose wisely.

#ChronoCast #SciFiPodcast #GlitchReality #FutureComedy #MovieLogic #HopprSupport #ZaxxOrion #TimeTravelHumor #AbsurdAudio #FictionPodcast #ParanormalComedy #FutureNews #TheaterOfTheGlitched #PopcornAndPeril #Glitchmail #NowPlayingForever

The Haunted House(It's not what you think).

Thu, 13 Nov 2025 15:00:00 GMT

Some homes remember.

Others… refuse to forget.

In this episode of ChronoCast, Zaxx explores a new kind of haunting — one where the walls you walk through still think they’re standing. Listener glitches get emotionally tangled, furniture gives ultimatums, and something in the floorboards hums a tune from before your house was built.

You’re not alone.

You’re just... overlapping.

The Space Baby Clause

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 15:00:00 GMT

👶 ChronoCast 16 – The Space Baby Clause

An unborn child just sued for emotional royalties.

A blender demands closure.

And Leon Musk may have mood-synced his way into parental litigation.

In this episode:

🛋️ Emotionally reactive furniture

📞 A Hoppr call about prenatal soul co-signers

🚀 And a feature segment unraveling zero-gravity legal nightmares

Broadcasting illegally from the year 3125 — where timelines tangle, baby monitors glitch, and memory is pay-per-view.

#ChronoCast #SciFiComedy #TimeTravelPodcast #SpaceBabyClause #LeonMusk #Glitchmail #HopprSupport #AudioFiction #AbsurdSciFi

The Haunted Update(Halloween Special)

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 14:00:00 GMT

🎃 ChronoCast 15: The Haunted Update(Halloween Special)

It started at 3:13AM.

A firmware update nobody asked for.

Now your fridge knows your secrets, your costume won’t come off, and your reflection just winked — without you.

This Halloween, Zaxx Orion broadcasts from deep within the glitched static to decode the cursed patch sweeping across timelines. Featuring haunted headlines, cursed tech support, listener reports of spooky interference, and the feature segment “The Haunted Update.”

🔪 Haunted devices

🎭 Rogue reflections

📱 A smart candle with trust issues

This isn’t a glitch.

It’s an invitation.

Zaxx out. (But leave a nightlight on.)

The Glitch that called itself Wobbert.

Thu, 23 Oct 2025 14:00:00 GMT

📡 ChronoCast Ep 14 – “The Glitch That Called Itself Wobbert”
Broadcasting from 3125, where photosynthesis is a meal plan and your shadow might be ticking.

Zaxx tackles whispering ceiling fans, smart mirrors with eviction energy, and a Hoppr call that’s one tick away from meltdown.

🧠 Glitchmails? Chaotic.
🕰 Hoppr? Still useless.
👁 Wobbert? Possibly a personality patch. Possibly your new co-host.

🔊 Tune in before the lightbulb hickeys fade.

#ChronoCast #WobbertWasReal #PhotosyntheticFasting #TimeLoopNutrition #GlitchComedy #ZaxxOut

It Whispers Gate Numbers!

Thu, 16 Oct 2025 14:00:00 GMT

🌀 Episode 13 – It Whispers Gate Numbers

Welcome to ChronoCast, broadcasting from the glitchy gut of the multiverse.

This week:

Reality’s been recalled.

Airports are whispering your secrets.

And intrusive thoughts now require TSA pre-check.

Zaxx fields disturbing glitchmails (crow attendance? fridge dopplegängers?), helps a caller whose house might be plotting something, and exposes the growing horror inside Terminal 7-B — where some flights don’t take you anywhere... they just loop your regrets.

Also featuring:

Cosmic horror Hoppr support

Airport traps for unwanted thoughts

“Sponsored Afterglow” and TSA-verified nightmares

Pack light. Something else is already carrying your baggage.

🎙️ Stay glitched. Stay grounded.

🌀 Zaxx out.

The Afterimage Audit

Thu, 09 Oct 2025 14:00:00 GMT

🎙 Episode 12 – “The Afterimage Audit”
They say the universe forgets nothing. Turns out it’s been itemizing.

In this audit-heavy transmission from 3125, Zaxx fields memory returns, psychic echo debts, and a Time Cop tattletale. Featuring glitchmail clones and a reminder that your smartwatch knows too much.

Also featuring:
📡 Hoppr Support’s trench-coat intern stack
📢 Sponsors you’ll regret… and then re-experience
🎭 SoulSlip™, EchoTrust™, and more vibey startups

Feeling judged? That’s just your cereal.
Let’s glitch.

—

🌀 #ChronoCast #SciFiComedy #TimeTravelTrouble #AfterimageAudit #ZaxxOrion #GlitchBroadcast #HopprSupport #SoulSlip #ExistentialReceipts #PodcastFromTheFuture #StayGlitchy

The Royal Reboot!

Thu, 02 Oct 2025 14:00:00 GMT

ChronoCast – Episode 11: “The Royal Reboot”
Things you’ll definitely hear this episode:

• A toaster lawsuit

• A cereal brand existential crisis

• A monarch cat with a judgmental laser squad

• A ukulele-powered apology

But hey, at least you’re not emotionally translucent… right?

The Afterlife Lottery

Thu, 25 Sep 2025 14:00:00 GMT

🎙 ChronoCast – Episode 10: “Your Afterlife May Already Be Waiting”
The forecast says dread with a chance of metaphysics. In this episode: philosophical doorbells, sneeze-loop paradoxes, syndicated dreams, a self-cancellation attempt via Hoppr call, and the Afterlife Lottery you didn’t know you entered. Sponsored by emotional soup and cringeworthy soul streams.

Stay weird. Stay wary. Zaxx out.
#ChronoCast #Glitchmail #HopprSupport #AfterlifeLottery

The Pet You Already Forgot!

Thu, 18 Sep 2025 14:00:00 GMT

Paradox pets that may or may not exist, a soul-sharing app that just updated its terms of regret, and a glitchy Hoppr caller with rage buffering. Zaxx takes new listener glitches (including one from a time cop), two new sponsors break the laws of marketing—and Queen Nibbles issues a psychic broadcast against a reality TV rival.
Welcome to the quantum side hustle economy. Hope you brought a backup soul.

The Day Everything Became Reversible!

Thu, 11 Sep 2025 14:00:00 GMT

🔁 Episode 8: The Day Everything Became Reversible

In this timeline-optional broadcast from 3125, Zaxx Orion unpacks the chaos of the day physics, decisions, and relationships decided to hit the undo button. Featuring cat-based crypto fraud, sentient mirrors with union demands, and a society briefly ruled by backward cereal.

🌀 Segments include:

• Future Headlines: Black holes enrolling in school & planets auditioning for reality TV

• Listener Glitches: Lying toothbrushes & time-travel pizza

• Hoppr Support: A reflection walks off the job—and starts organizing your appliances

• Sponsor: Memory-quilt subscriptions for your scattered timeline

• Feature: What it cost when everything became reversible

Keep your mirrors close and your regrets refundable.

Zaxx out.

The Emotion Black Market

Thu, 04 Sep 2025 14:00:00 GMT

🪙 Episode 7: The Emotion Black Market
Broadcast illegally from 3125, Zaxx Orion dives into the ethically questionable underbelly of emotional economics—where nostalgia costs a fortune, gratitude is synthetic, and sadness is sold wholesale. Featuring: toddler unions, a moon rebellion, meme-based pandemics, reflection conspiracies, listener glitches, and a disturbingly catchy K-pop teddy bear ad.

Segments include:
• Future Headlines from tomorrow’s mistake pile
• Listener glitches from the shadow realm
• A Hoppr support call that stares back
• Sponsor shoutouts you probably shouldn’t trust
• The real cost of feelings in a world that trades them

Stay glitchy.
New episodes weekly-ish.

Everyone’s a Clone, Including You (Probably)

Thu, 28 Aug 2025 14:00:00 GMT

Broadcasting illegally from the year 3125, Zaxx Orion returns with clone chaos, duplicate drama, and a city full of legally renamed citizens—all “Gary.”

This glitch-infested episode includes:

• A dating app that matches you with… yourself

• The Gary Crisis and ska-induced civil war

• Voicemails from listeners battling worm-apartments and cult pasta

• A Hoppr caller who cloned himself just for coffee

• Suspicious sponsors and emotional nanodrugs

If you're hearing this, you’re either the original or the better copy. Welcome to the recursion.

Sponsored by: SplitPeep™ and OverThinkRx.
Cloning is temporary. Regret is forever.

The Bunker is Made of Spaghetti

Fri, 22 Aug 2025 14:00:01 GMT

Broadcasting straight from the year 3125, Zaxx Orion serves up another glitch-soaked, legally ambiguous episode of ChronoCast, featuring:

A pasta-based apocalypse preparation movement

Glitch voicemails from wormhole pets, brunch revolts, and one very suspicious caller

A warped Hoppr Support call about a week named Steve

A bunker collapse caused by influencer ego

And closing advice about forks and cassette backups

Sponsored by: Time Tape™ and ChronoChow™.

Illegal in 3 timelines, delicious in 4.

Your reality is on backorder.

Thu, 14 Aug 2025 14:00:00 GMT

Zaxx Orion returns from the year 3125 to corrupt your present with another outlawed transmission—this time featuring:

A headline about black-market timeline hoarders

Glitched voicemails from haunted toasters and multiverse marriage accidents

A deep dive into Time Debt Collectors (spoiler: you might owe 14 birthdays)

And one sponsor that lets you brush your teeth using memories

Includes illegal advice, petty investments, and a soft whisper from beyond buffering.

Sorry the moon blocked my signal, again!

Thu, 07 Aug 2025 14:00:01 GMT

After the Moon blocked last week’s broadcast (she’s still mad), Zaxx is back with another illegal transmission from the year 3125. This time, he’s covering:

• A basement full of stolen micro-timelines

• 42 identical mayors running one city based on vibes

• A theory that your life might be fanfiction

• And a tech support call involving three versions of Tuesday

Also featuring fake ads, real confusion, and glitter-based conspiracy theories.

If you’re still tuned in... you’re probably already on a list

We're not talking about the flu!

Thu, 31 Jul 2025 14:00:00 GMT

Zaxx promised he’d talk about the Great Clone Flu this week.
He lied.

Instead, he covers:

• Unionized smart toilets with demands and opinions

• A time-traveling octopus committing funeral fraud

• Emotional support AIs declaring independence

• And a dating app that matches you with... yourself

Also: one of his clones may have hijacked his apartment. Again.

Welcome to ChronoCast, where continuity is optional and sneezing might trigger a wormhole.

You're Listening to a Crime

Sat, 26 Jul 2025 18:21:04 GMT

Broadcasting illegally from the year 3125, rogue influencer Zaxx Orion hijacks the timeline to deliver updates from a chaotic, hyper-digital future. In this debut transmission, he covers:

A Martian monarchy ruled by a cat

AI therapists that goes too hard

The return of the Moon—and she’s not happy

A caller who merged timelines with their imaginary friend

Congrats, you're now an accomplice to chronological espionage. Don’t worry—it probably won’t void your Spotify warranty.