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New Earth: A Doctor Who Audio Adventure


9 episodes


Solo Fanfiction Serial Audio Book


Synopsis:

"The Target novel you never asked for but secretly really wanted." A novelized Target-style retelling of Doctor Who's unloved second series debut, originally broadcast on 15 April 2006 and now in audio form! A message on psychic paper. A thought projected across time and space. Someone wants to see the Doctor, but who? The answer will take him and Rose far into the future, to New Earth, where a posh hospital staffed by cat-nuns is hiding a dirty secret - one the vengeful stretched-skin, Lady Cassandra, is all too keen to discover. For this, she needs Rose's help... or rather, her body!


Language: English

Format: Audio Book

Continuity: Serial

Writing: Scripted

Voices: Solo

Genres: Fanfiction, Science fiction

Soundscape: Voices only

Not tagged: [Maturity] [Creator demographics] [Character demographics] [Country of origin] [Transcript] [Completion status] [Content warnings]

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Episodes:

Chapter 8 - Miss Tyler, I Presume?

Wed, 16 Apr 2025 20:15:30 GMT

Mysteries abound in Ward 26, as the Doctor and Rose investigate! Just how do the Sisters work their medical magic? Why are all the patients fine, when they should be dead or dying? What’s with Rose’s new voice? And why has she suddenly taken up tonsil-tennis? Is anything really what it seems...?

Also: The Duke of Manhattan takes up flirting, Frau Clovis gets jealous, and Novice Hame reflects. Includes bad manners, brainy specs, champagne, far-future diseases, some terrible Cockney, a sleepy Face of Boe and a Carry On reference. Oh, and snogging. Ooh matron, indeed! (No, that’s not the reference…)

  • Written and read by Daniel Rawnsley
  • With ENORMOUS thanks to the prodigiously talented Joanna Materek for her wonderful artwork!
  • Music used with kind permission from THE CELESTIAL MECHANIC
  • Official Podcast Cover Art: Andy Walker
  • Sound Effects: Freesound and Pixabay

THIS AUDIO IS FAN-MADE AND A WORK OF NON-PROFIT. DOCTOR WHO, TARDIS AND ITS CHARACTERS (WORD MARKS, LOGOS AND DEVICES) ARE TRADEMARKS OF THE BBC. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED.

Timestamps

(0:00) Intro

(0:45) Chapter 8

(0:51) A Rose By Any Other Name

(06:31) Miracle Patients

(10:32) Adam and Eve It

(15:27) The Kiss

(19:26) Novice Hame Reflects

Direct MP3 link


Chapter 7 - A Lady's Vendetta

Tue, 08 Oct 2024 23:37:20 GMT

It's a medical miracle! A previously petrified patient in Ward 26 has inexplicably recovered from his terminal condition, but the Sisters remain suspiciously tight-lipped on the matter. The Doctor is on the case! Downstairs, meanwhile, Cassandra-Rose – she of Wonderbra fame – readies herself for some good ol'-fashioned Time Lord seduction…

  • Written and read by Daniel Rawnsley
  • A HUGE thank you to illustrator Amera Altahan for her marvellous artwork!
  • Sound Effects: Freesounds and Pixabay.


THIS AUDIO IS FAN-MADE AND A WORK OF NON-PROFIT. DOCTOR WHO, TARDIS AND ITS CHARACTERS (WORD MARKS, LOGOS AND DEVICES) ARE TRADEMARKS OF THE BBC. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED.

Timestamps

(0:00) Intro

(0:44) Chapter 7

(0:50) Cured?!

(4:14) Patient Confidentiality

(7:44) Chip's Concerns

(10:12) Cassandra's Makeover

(17:00) Perfume

Direct MP3 link


Chapter 6 - Body-Snatched

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 10:24:40 GMT

Lonely gods and bouncy castles, oh my! Lady Cassandra, having a chav-tastic time living it up inside Rose: mind, body, and Cockney rhyming-slang. We get a peek into the Doctor’s mind as well - and there’s even a nod toThe TV Movie in there somewhere. Cor blimey, guv’nah!

  • Written and read by Daniel Rawnsley
  • A HUGE thank you to the incredibly talented Chaotic Simp for her Rose Tyler artwork!
  • Additionally Sampled Music: "Tainted Love" as performed by Soft Cell (1981), and"Song For Ten" as composed by Murray Gold and performed by Tim Phillips in The Christmas Invasion (2005).
  • Official Podcast Cover Art: Andy Walker
  • Sound Effects: Freesounds and Pixabay.


THIS AUDIO IS FAN-MADE AND A WORK OF NON-PROFIT. DOCTOR WHO, TARDIS AND ITS CHARACTERS (WORD MARKS, LOGOS AND DEVICES) ARE TRADEMARKS OF THE BBC. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED.

    Timestamps

    (0:00) Intro

    (0:43) Chapter 6

    (0:50) Curves

    (6:36) Brain Meat Expired

    (9:51) Rose's Surface Memories

    (12:37) The Doctor's Meander

    (18:35) Nice Rear Bumper

    (20:27) The Doctor's Phone Call

Direct MP3 link


Chapter 5 - The Face of Boe

Tue, 28 May 2024 22:00:00 GMT

Bit special, this one. I incorporated some dialogue from Russell T Davies’ wonderful Doctor Who: Lockdown short, “The Secret of Novice Hame”. Feels like it fleshes out the scene and the character more. Also: New Earth, new faces – down in the cellar, there’s the matter of the missing chav…

  • You can view "The Secret of Novice Hame" on YouTube
  • Official Podcast Cover Art: Andy Walker
  • Sound Effects: Pixabay, Freesound and BBC Sounds


THIS AUDIO IS FAN-MADE AND A WORK OF NON-PROFIT. DOCTOR WHO, TARDIS AND ITS CHARACTERS (WORD MARKS, LOGOS AND DEVICES) ARE TRADEMARKS OF THE BBC. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED.

Timestamps

(0:00) Intro

(0:44) Chapter 5

(0:49) The Story of Novice Hame

(4:33) The Great Secret

(7:24) Moisturise Me

(11:34) Rose No More

Direct MP3 link


Chapter 4 - The Last Human

Sun, 05 May 2024 23:01:45 GMT

The bitchy trampoline returns! She exploded, remember? (Please don’t ask where she got her skin from). Also featuring Gollum – whoops, sorry, Chip. Cassandra watching film reels of her younger self is very “Sunset Boulevard”, and now she’s ready for her big close-up! How many callbacks to “The End of the World” can you spot?

  • Written and read by Daniel Rawnsley
  • A HUGE thank you to illustrator Amera Altahan for her wonderful artwork!
  • Additional Music: "Ain't We Got Fun"as performed by the Benson Orchestra of Chicago (1921), and "Ain't She Sweet" as performed by Ben Bernie and his Orchestra (1927).
  • Sound Effects: Freesound, Pixabay and BBC Sounds.


THIS AUDIO IS FAN-MADE AND A WORK OF NON-PROFIT. DOCTOR WHO, TARDIS AND ITS CHARACTERS (WORD MARKS, LOGOS AND DEVICES) ARE TRADEMARKS OF THE BBC. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED.

Timestamps

(0:00) Intro

(0:43) Chapter 4

(0:48) Lives of the Rich and Thin

(5:20) Enter Cassandra

(9:02) Ask Not

(15:02) A Night to Remember

(17:30) Goodbye Trampoline, Hello Blondie

Direct MP3 link


Chapter 3 - The Visitor of Ward 26

Sun, 05 May 2024 14:19:00 GMT

A bit shorter, this one! The Doc meets his mysterious summoner. No, it’s not the Duke of Manhattan – although please remember that members of the public may only make mention of His Grace The Duke of Manhattan with written permission from the Senate of New New York, signed in triplicate.

  • Sound Effects: Pixabay, Freesound and BBC Sounds


THIS AUDIO IS FAN-MADE AND A WORK OF NON-PROFIT. DOCTOR WHO, TARDIS AND ITS CHARACTERS (WORD MARKS, LOGOS AND DEVICES) ARE TRADEMARKS OF THE BBC. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED.

Timestamps

(0:00) Intro

(0:43) Chapter 3

(0:50) Sister Jatt

(3:50) The Duke of Manhattan

(7:25) The Face of Boe

Direct MP3 link


Chapter 2 - The Hospital

Sun, 05 May 2024 14:15:51 GMT

The Doctor and the dirty blonde assassin make it to their destination – a posh hospital run by vaguely-sinister cat-ladies! The hospital gets a name here, though there’s still no little shop. The Duke of Manhattan and Frau Clovis got the short shrift in the TV episode, so here they're introduced a lot earlier. Chip also makes an appearance (cos writing him and his “Mistress” into the previous chapter would’ve been a dead giveaway).

  • Sound Effects: Pixabay, Freesound and BBC Sounds


THIS AUDIO IS FAN-MADE AND A WORK OF NON-PROFIT. DOCTOR WHO, TARDIS AND ITS CHARACTERS (WORD MARKS, LOGOS AND DEVICES) ARE TRADEMARKS OF THE BBC. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED.

Timestamps

(0:00) Intro

(0:08) Not Exactly NHS

(9:23) Separated

(12:38) Thoughts in a Lift

(15:09) Surprise Shower

(19:24) Disinfected Doctor

(21:29) Basement Blonde

Direct MP3 link


Chapter 1 - New New Doctor

Sun, 05 May 2024 14:10:42 GMT

Did you hear the news? We’re off, further than we’ve ever gone before! It’s the New New Doctor and Rose, heading off for new adventures to New Earth, soaking up new skies, flying cars, the new smell of applegrass, and of course the view of New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New York, a city so nice they named it 15 times over! Can you count all the new's??

  • Written and read by Daniel Rawnsley
  • A HUGE thank you to illustrator Amera Altahan for her wonderful artwork!
  • Sound Effects: Pixabay, Freesound and BBC Sounds


THIS AUDIO IS FAN-MADE AND A WORK OF NON-PROFIT. DOCTOR WHO, TARDIS AND ITS CHARACTERS (WORD MARKS, LOGOS AND DEVICES) ARE TRADEMARKS OF THE BBC. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED.

Timestamps

(0:00) Intro

(0:43) Chapter 1

(0:48) When Rose Met The Doctor

(6:55) New Adventures

(10:56) TARDIS Takeoff

(13:56) Welcome to New Earth

(22:37) Chillin' in the Applegrass

Direct MP3 link


Prologue

Sun, 05 May 2024 13:59:42 GMT

Far below the surface of a brave new world, two feline nurses consult on the matter of a conscious "patient" in Intensive Care...

  • Written and read by Daniel Rawnsley
  • With big thanks to Omaik Neiv for doing the artwork on this episode!
  • Sound Effects: Pixabay, Freesound and BBC Sounds


THIS AUDIO DRAMA IS FAN-MADE AND A WORK OF NON-PROFIT. DOCTOR WHO, TARDIS AND ITS CHARACTERS (WORD MARKS, LOGOS AND DEVICES) ARE TRADEMARKS OF THE BBC. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED.


Timestamps

(0:00) The Changing Face of Doctor Who

(0:17) Opening Credits

(1:00) Prologue

(1:05) Lab Rat

(3:55) Cat People

(8:47) Incinerate

Direct MP3 link